http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/ Daily Kitten Chat Forum Topic: My Dad Died Friday en Sat, 21 Nov 2009 08:47:24 +0000 http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/topic/10014/page/3#post-256921 Thu, 09 Oct 2008 12:33:38 +0000 Leeny 256921@http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/ <p>I hope that the doctor can find a solution for those headaches, too. Be good to yourself.</p> <p>{{{Lynnmo}}} </p> http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/topic/10014/page/3#post-256762 Thu, 09 Oct 2008 08:12:39 +0000 2bpurring 256762@http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/ <p>{{{HUGS}}}} Lynnmo Thank you for checking in we have been worried.. I'm sorry for your headaches, but very glad to hear that your seeing a doctor today. I hope he is able to help. Know that you are in our thoughts and prayers... </p> http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/topic/10014/page/2#post-256759 Thu, 09 Oct 2008 08:07:39 +0000 Lynnnmo 256759@http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/ <p>I thank you all so very much for your kind words and I apologize for not writing sooner. I cried so much since my Dad died that I have had a headache every day since. I did the same thing when my baby Cane Cane passed away as well. It throbs and throbs and the more you sit up the more it hurts. I have a Doctor appointment today at 11:40 so hopefully she can make it go away. I logged on to the TDK site and couldn't believe all the responses I have gotten. All written so beautifully and so full of compassion and love. You guys are an awesome and I am proud to be a part of this great family. I thank you again for the prayers, love, concern and most of all for excepting me into the TDK family. My babies and I thank you for all that you do and have done for us all.</p> <p>Hugs &#38; Purrs to all of you! </p> http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/topic/10014/page/2#post-253864 Sat, 04 Oct 2008 17:50:15 +0000 Sheba's Mom in Phoenix, AZ 10/8 253864@http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/ <p>{{{HUGS}}} I am sorry--I am just catching up with this thread, I have been too busy moving to be online much. </p> http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/topic/10014/page/2#post-253731 Sat, 04 Oct 2008 13:12:44 +0000 WillowandWindismom 253731@http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/ <p>I cannot add to Emma's beautiful words, Lynn. There is one thing that I know. Sometimes we grieve for the parent that we wished that we had had. The relationship that never existed, but that we prayed would happen. And sometimes the grief for the life that we never knew in relationships can be devastating. </p> <p>You cannot change what your father was, or more importantly, what he was not. But you can live your life giving your love to others. How sad his life must have been, and what a lost opportunity for him not to have known your beautiful spirit. But that was his loss. </p> <p>Sometimes we really do learn more from a negative role model, or at least as much as we learn from a positive role model. Perhaps your father has given you a gift in helping you to know the kind of person that you do not want to be.</p> <p>We are all there with you right now, even if you can't see us. {{{Hugs}}} </p> http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/topic/10014/page/2#post-253726 Sat, 04 Oct 2008 13:00:03 +0000 Cat talk rules 253726@http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/ <p>I'm so sorry for all your pain, Lynn. I'll have you in my prayers </p> http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/topic/10014/page/2#post-253646 Sat, 04 Oct 2008 08:53:18 +0000 gatakitty 253646@http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/ <p>Well said, Emma. Anything I were to add would only diminish the meaning. You are OUR family, Lynn, and we love you just the way you are!</p> <p>*adjusts Mr. Rogers zipper sweater and heads out to hang with Daniel Striped Tiger* </p> http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/topic/10014/page/2#post-253640 Sat, 04 Oct 2008 08:37:34 +0000 Emma 253640@http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/ <p>Sweetheart, I am so sorry for what he did to you in life and now in death. You are a lovely and darling creature with a heart of gold and a spirit like shining steel. The world is a better place for having you in it. </p> <p>Your father should have been honored to call you "daughter," and if he wasn't, that is his most grievous loss. Not to have taken his life, but to have pushed you away. I am glad your brothers supported you. </p> <p>I know that you will not use these words about your father, but I will: he had a better daughter than he ever deserved, and I think he knew it. </p> <p>Some people dislike an individual because of the way they treat them, not the other way around. It sounds as though your father did great wrong to you and then tried to justify it by saying he was not your father, he did not love you, you were not what he wanted, etc.</p> <p>Stupid, isn't it? It also happens much more than any of us want to admit. To throw away love is such a waste.</p> <p>No matter what happens, Lynn, we know you and we love you. </p> <p>You are part of this family -- THIS family of TDK -- noisy and kind-hearted and cat-loving and raucous and sometimes irritating, with an occasional food fight or pom-pom war thrown in for good measure. </p> <p>We have lunches together in real places and cyber-cafes, we pray for each other, check up on each other to make sure everyone's safe, and we always help each other. Sometimes with material goods, always with prayers and blessings and continued interest and affection.</p> <p>If every great family in the world claimed you, you would still be in our family forever. You are such a blessing to us all, Lynn.</p> <p>And you are always in our prayers. </p> http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/topic/10014/page/2#post-253056 Fri, 03 Oct 2008 12:34:00 +0000 Tigger 253056@http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/ <p>Lynn, I am so sorry to have met you under these circumstances. I've been with this site for over a year and know that the people here are the most caring and supportive group I've EVER met anywhere! Please accept my most heartfelt prayers and condolences to you and your family. All of my prayers to God are with you at this time. Do not rush or allow anyone else to rush you through the grieving processes and as others have said eloquently, DO NOT blame yourself in any way, shape or form for this. We can never know all of the misguided reasons.<br /> {{hugs}} to you. </p> http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/topic/10014/page/2#post-253051 Fri, 03 Oct 2008 12:16:04 +0000 CheetahBoysmommy 253051@http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/ <p>Oh, Lynn, what an awful experience for you. Don't take the burden of thinking you could have prevented his death; you couldn't. Suicide is a very personal thing and it's usually not even understood by the people who do it.</p> <p>Is your mom still around? Maybe she can give you some insights into why your father treated you the way he did. She may not know, or may not be willing to share, but now that your father is gone she may be able to shed some understanding on his behaviour. </p> http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/topic/10014/page/2#post-252932 Fri, 03 Oct 2008 09:32:45 +0000 Buttercup 252932@http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/ <p>I'm so sorry Lynn. </p> http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/topic/10014/page/2#post-252926 Fri, 03 Oct 2008 09:30:23 +0000 2 Popoki 252926@http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/ <p>{{{lynnmo}}} Glad you went to the funeral... I know how hard that can be. *fumbles for the right words... finds none*<br /> Know you are loved..... grieving and healing is not a quick process. You are in my thoughts. </p> http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/topic/10014/page/2#post-252915 Fri, 03 Oct 2008 09:08:14 +0000 Kusaki 252915@http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/ <p>I'm so sorry to hear this. Stay strong, you're very good at it ^^<br /> Prayers and Blessings ~ Kusaki </p> http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/topic/10014/page/2#post-252904 Fri, 03 Oct 2008 08:34:42 +0000 KYKAT 12 23 252904@http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/ <p>(((Lynn))), I am glad you went to the funeral for your own closure, but I am so sorry that your father managed to hurt you from beyond the grave. I highly recommend you try to find a grief support group or a support group specifically for family and friends of a suicide. Being with others who are also working out their grief, anger, and pain will be immensely healing and will help you come to terms and peace. Many times these groups are formed by individuals and are no cost. Check some of the larger churches in your area as they might host such groups. I will keep you in my prayers. </p> http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/topic/10014/page/2#post-252900 Fri, 03 Oct 2008 08:28:30 +0000 2bpurring 252900@http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/ <p>Lynn, I'm glad you are past the funeral and now hopefully can begin to heal..What a beautiful heart you have to not be bitter..You will always have us here Lynn, we love you!!! </p> http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/topic/10014/page/2#post-252896 Fri, 03 Oct 2008 08:14:09 +0000 sullis 252896@http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/ <p>I am so very very sorry for your loss Lynn </p> http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/topic/10014/page/2#post-252890 Fri, 03 Oct 2008 08:10:22 +0000 Lynnnmo 252890@http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/ <p>Well I made it through the funeral, it was so hard. I had so many mixed feelings but I had a major breakdown during the visitation but that was to be expected. I had so many mixed emotions on how I was supposed to feel. I was mad, sad and hurt all at the same time. See my Dad wasn't around much when I was growing up and at times he denied me being his. I have four half brothers but I'm the youngest and Mom's only child. It's a long story there so I won't get into it but none the less I was still hurt over it all. The worst thing that hurt is I wasn't mentioned in the obituary. At the feneral though my brothers more then made up for it. My Dad left a note, a will and wrote his own obituary so my brothers put it in the paper just as he wrote it. I was always a good kid so I don't know why I was left out of everything. He didn't leave me anything either and being disabled and living alone trying to survive and take care of home, I needed it the most. He didn't have any life insurance but it wouldn't have paid anyway because of it being a suicide. All I asked for is somehting of his that ment something to him so I can have something to remember him by. He owned some land with two housed on it but he seperated it between the four boys. I guess you would have just had to know him but the way he felt, it's a mans world. Another long story there I won't get into. But none the less he was my Dad and I will miss him and will probable still be very hurt by all this for sometime. At least I got to meet some of my family that I had never seen before. They were all so sweet to me so that helped. The night before the funeral I felt like not even going, but now, I'm glad I did.</p> <p>I also want to say, I have been through some very rough and trying times but I would never take my own life. I have tried so hard to get pass my illnesses and stay strong and I know it's hard. So anyone out there who has thought about killing themselves or is thinking about it, please get help. Talk to someone, anyone who will listen. If anyone ever wahts to talk to me I would be more then happy to talk with you and just be a friend and help you with whatever it is your going through. My email is sweetness1763 at hotmail dot com. </p> <p>Also I want to tank everyone who has sent prayers, stories of their own lives and blessings to my family. They are much appreciated. I don't know what I would do without a group of friends like I made here on TDK. You all are so very kind. Again, Thank you!</p> <p>Hugs to you all! </p> http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/topic/10014/page/2#post-251125 Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:04:05 +0000 sloopy1975 251125@http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/ <p>OMG, I'm SO sorry, Lynn... it's hard enough when someone dies but when someone takes their life... ***Hugs*** I know how it is, 2 people close to me killed themselves.... *sigh* My prayers are with you through this difficult time and may God give you strength beyond measure!</p> <p>On a side note, I too, have tried to commit suicide on a number of occasions. There's no way to describe how low a person feels to have that thought even cross their mind, not to mention to actually follow through with it. Even years later, I can't understand why myself, and I was the one who did it! It's just one of those things in life that's meant to teach us a lesson, I guess. One of those things that becomes clear to us when we pass on to God. (trust me, I still have low days but I'm so glad that I never have any days like that anymore... no matter how much things stink sometimes, I remember those days and think to myself, "ya know, things aren't that bad!" Unfortunately, a lot of people don't make it to the point that I have *sigh*)</p> <p>Don't worry about the "why" (I know that it's easier said than done) but just remember all the good times with your Dad, He'd want it that way. </p> <p>***HUGS*** </p> http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/topic/10014/page/2#post-251111 Tue, 30 Sep 2008 14:34:51 +0000 MadcatwomanintheUK 251111@http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/ <p>How're you doing Lynn? I hope tomorrow goes as well as these things ever can. I'll be thinking of you {{hugs}} </p> http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/topic/10014/page/2#post-250606 Mon, 29 Sep 2008 19:17:34 +0000 artistabobbi TX 1/17 250606@http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/ <p>I'm so sorry for your loss, too. No one can ever answer the question of why.....<br /> Sending you healing energy and ((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))<br /> Hang in there, and take as long as you like to grieve.<br /> Peace, hugs and purrs. </p> http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/topic/10014/page/2#post-250593 Mon, 29 Sep 2008 18:48:07 +0000 SoxsMom 250593@http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/ <p>Dear Lynn I am so sorry for your loss. I fear there are no words I can say that will ever take the hurt away, or even make you feel better. Please know my prayers of comfort are with you as you work through the grief. Please know you are loved. </p> http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/topic/10014/page/2#post-250524 Mon, 29 Sep 2008 17:00:18 +0000 neelaANDcharlie 250524@http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/ <p>I M SORRY ABOUT THAT :o( </p> http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/topic/10014/page/2#post-250523 Mon, 29 Sep 2008 17:00:02 +0000 neelaANDcharlie 250523@http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/ <p>I M SORRY ABOUT THAT :o( </p> http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/topic/10014/page/2#post-250468 Mon, 29 Sep 2008 15:18:56 +0000 Kitten Whisperer 250468@http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/ <p>I'm sorry for your loss, Lynn. Please keep posting to let us know how you are doing. {{{hugs}}} </p> http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/topic/10014/page/2#post-250386 Mon, 29 Sep 2008 13:01:44 +0000 HuddysMama 250386@http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/ <p>Lynn, I'm so very sorry for your loss. ((hugs)) Please just take things one day at a time (I know that's corny, but it helps) and know that you can always come here and find a kind shoulder to lean on. ((hugs)) </p> http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/topic/10014/page/2#post-250285 Mon, 29 Sep 2008 11:11:53 +0000 TheKnittingNinja 250285@http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/ <p>Oh Lynn I am so sorry, that is horrible. {{{{{BIG HUGS}}}}}<br /> Remember we are here for you. </p> http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/topic/10014/page/2#post-250248 Mon, 29 Sep 2008 10:25:15 +0000 Lainey 250248@http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/ <p>Oh Lynn, I can only echo what many have said. It is so very hard to understand. Be gentle with his memory, Lynn. I've been suicidal and all I can say is that when I was there I was "convinced" it was the best thing for everyone, not just me. I thought everyone else would be better off. I made it through and am grateful. The pain and confusion you are in must be so very difficult. I am so glad you reached out to this loving group. Take the time to take care of you. I will pray for your dad and for you and everyone this tragedy touches. May somehow you find some peace. </p> http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/topic/10014/page/2#post-250242 Mon, 29 Sep 2008 10:04:23 +0000 ginirosaru 250242@http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/ <p>I'm really sorry Lynn, I know how hard suicides in the family can be. A few christmas eves ago my cousin committed suicide. It's a time full of confusion and questions and sadness. Just know that this is not your fault, you are a wonderful daughter, and a great person. If you need anyone to talk to email me anytime at ginirosaru (at) gmail (dot) com </p> http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/topic/10014/page/2#post-250225 Mon, 29 Sep 2008 09:46:33 +0000 tuttibella 250225@http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/ <p>Lynn,</p> <p>My heart goes out to you. </p> <p>'Say not in grief 'he is no more' but live in thankfulness that he was' </p> http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/topic/10014/page/2#post-250219 Mon, 29 Sep 2008 09:29:37 +0000 krazikat 250219@http://www.dailykitten.com/chat/ <p>What sad news Lynnmo. My mom died recently and that is sad enough, I can't imagine your shock and pain. You are in my prayers.{{{HUGS}}} </p>