Daily Kitten Chat Forum » General Chat

31. 

    Oh, Lynn, I am so sorry. Accept your feelings, whatever they are. There is no particular way you are supposed to feel.

    Suicide happens, Lynn, when a person feels for some reason that he cannot tolerate life the way it is and that there is no hope of life ever improving. Often, it isn't a matter of wanting to take one's life, it's a feeling that one has no choice but to take his life. Unfortunately, a person in this much pain, unable to think clearly, is usually not able to think about the others in his life or how his death will affect them; nothing is real but the pain and the conviction that nothing can end it but death. Those who are able to think of others may believe that others will be better off without them. These perceptions may be completely inaccurate, but to those who hold them, they are real.

    People in this condition often have something going wrong in their brains, either physical damage or chemical malfunctions. As long as the brain isn't working right, nothing that anyone else can say or do makes a difference. It runs right off like storm water off of pavement.

    Posted 1 year ago by Leeny #

32. 

    Lynn - I can offer no other words, or more eloquently, than those already stated. You and your family are in my thoughts. Don't worry about putting a name to your emotions - just feel them; let them run through your body as the tears run down your cheeks. It's OK.

    Posted 1 year ago by 2 Popoki #

33. 

    What sad news Lynnmo. My mom died recently and that is sad enough, I can't imagine your shock and pain. You are in my prayers.{{{HUGS}}}

    Posted 1 year ago by krazikat #

34. 

    Lynn,

    My heart goes out to you.

    'Say not in grief 'he is no more' but live in thankfulness that he was'

    Posted 1 year ago by tuttibella #

35. 

    I'm really sorry Lynn, I know how hard suicides in the family can be. A few christmas eves ago my cousin committed suicide. It's a time full of confusion and questions and sadness. Just know that this is not your fault, you are a wonderful daughter, and a great person. If you need anyone to talk to email me anytime at ginirosaru (at) gmail (dot) com

    Posted 1 year ago by ginirosaru #

36. 

    Oh Lynn, I can only echo what many have said. It is so very hard to understand. Be gentle with his memory, Lynn. I've been suicidal and all I can say is that when I was there I was "convinced" it was the best thing for everyone, not just me. I thought everyone else would be better off. I made it through and am grateful. The pain and confusion you are in must be so very difficult. I am so glad you reached out to this loving group. Take the time to take care of you. I will pray for your dad and for you and everyone this tragedy touches. May somehow you find some peace.

    Posted 1 year ago by Lainey #

37. 

    Oh Lynn I am so sorry, that is horrible. {{{{{BIG HUGS}}}}}
    Remember we are here for you.

    Posted 1 year ago by TheKnittingNinja #

38. 

    Lynn, I'm so very sorry for your loss. ((hugs)) Please just take things one day at a time (I know that's corny, but it helps) and know that you can always come here and find a kind shoulder to lean on. ((hugs))

    Posted 1 year ago by HuddysMama #

39. 

    I'm sorry for your loss, Lynn. Please keep posting to let us know how you are doing. {{{hugs}}}

    Posted 1 year ago by Kitten Whisperer #

40. 

    I M SORRY ABOUT THAT :o(

    Posted 1 year ago by neelaANDcharlie #

41. 

    I M SORRY ABOUT THAT :o(

    Posted 1 year ago by neelaANDcharlie #

42. 

    Dear Lynn I am so sorry for your loss. I fear there are no words I can say that will ever take the hurt away, or even make you feel better. Please know my prayers of comfort are with you as you work through the grief. Please know you are loved.

    Posted 1 year ago by SoxsMom #

43. 

    I'm so sorry for your loss, too. No one can ever answer the question of why.....
    Sending you healing energy and ((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))
    Hang in there, and take as long as you like to grieve.
    Peace, hugs and purrs.

    Posted 1 year ago by artistabobbi TX 1/17 #

44. 

    How're you doing Lynn? I hope tomorrow goes as well as these things ever can. I'll be thinking of you {{hugs}}

    Posted 1 year ago by MadcatwomanintheUK #

45. 

    OMG, I'm SO sorry, Lynn... it's hard enough when someone dies but when someone takes their life... ***Hugs*** I know how it is, 2 people close to me killed themselves.... *sigh* My prayers are with you through this difficult time and may God give you strength beyond measure!

    On a side note, I too, have tried to commit suicide on a number of occasions. There's no way to describe how low a person feels to have that thought even cross their mind, not to mention to actually follow through with it. Even years later, I can't understand why myself, and I was the one who did it! It's just one of those things in life that's meant to teach us a lesson, I guess. One of those things that becomes clear to us when we pass on to God. (trust me, I still have low days but I'm so glad that I never have any days like that anymore... no matter how much things stink sometimes, I remember those days and think to myself, "ya know, things aren't that bad!" Unfortunately, a lot of people don't make it to the point that I have *sigh*)

    Don't worry about the "why" (I know that it's easier said than done) but just remember all the good times with your Dad, He'd want it that way.

    ***HUGS***

    Posted 1 year ago by sloopy1975 #

46. 

    Well I made it through the funeral, it was so hard. I had so many mixed feelings but I had a major breakdown during the visitation but that was to be expected. I had so many mixed emotions on how I was supposed to feel. I was mad, sad and hurt all at the same time. See my Dad wasn't around much when I was growing up and at times he denied me being his. I have four half brothers but I'm the youngest and Mom's only child. It's a long story there so I won't get into it but none the less I was still hurt over it all. The worst thing that hurt is I wasn't mentioned in the obituary. At the feneral though my brothers more then made up for it. My Dad left a note, a will and wrote his own obituary so my brothers put it in the paper just as he wrote it. I was always a good kid so I don't know why I was left out of everything. He didn't leave me anything either and being disabled and living alone trying to survive and take care of home, I needed it the most. He didn't have any life insurance but it wouldn't have paid anyway because of it being a suicide. All I asked for is somehting of his that ment something to him so I can have something to remember him by. He owned some land with two housed on it but he seperated it between the four boys. I guess you would have just had to know him but the way he felt, it's a mans world. Another long story there I won't get into. But none the less he was my Dad and I will miss him and will probable still be very hurt by all this for sometime. At least I got to meet some of my family that I had never seen before. They were all so sweet to me so that helped. The night before the funeral I felt like not even going, but now, I'm glad I did.

    I also want to say, I have been through some very rough and trying times but I would never take my own life. I have tried so hard to get pass my illnesses and stay strong and I know it's hard. So anyone out there who has thought about killing themselves or is thinking about it, please get help. Talk to someone, anyone who will listen. If anyone ever wahts to talk to me I would be more then happy to talk with you and just be a friend and help you with whatever it is your going through. My email is sweetness1763 at hotmail dot com.

    Also I want to tank everyone who has sent prayers, stories of their own lives and blessings to my family. They are much appreciated. I don't know what I would do without a group of friends like I made here on TDK. You all are so very kind. Again, Thank you!

    Hugs to you all!

    Posted 1 year ago by Lynnnmo #

47. 

    I am so very very sorry for your loss Lynn

    Posted 1 year ago by sullis #

48. 

    Lynn, I'm glad you are past the funeral and now hopefully can begin to heal..What a beautiful heart you have to not be bitter..You will always have us here Lynn, we love you!!!

    Posted 1 year ago by 2bpurring #

49. 

    (((Lynn))), I am glad you went to the funeral for your own closure, but I am so sorry that your father managed to hurt you from beyond the grave. I highly recommend you try to find a grief support group or a support group specifically for family and friends of a suicide. Being with others who are also working out their grief, anger, and pain will be immensely healing and will help you come to terms and peace. Many times these groups are formed by individuals and are no cost. Check some of the larger churches in your area as they might host such groups. I will keep you in my prayers.

    Posted 1 year ago by KYKAT 12 23 #

50. 

    I'm so sorry to hear this. Stay strong, you're very good at it ^^
    Prayers and Blessings ~ Kusaki

    Posted 1 year ago by Kusaki #

51. 

    {{{lynnmo}}} Glad you went to the funeral... I know how hard that can be. *fumbles for the right words... finds none*
    Know you are loved..... grieving and healing is not a quick process. You are in my thoughts.

    Posted 1 year ago by 2 Popoki #

52. 

    I'm so sorry Lynn.

    Posted 1 year ago by Buttercup #

53. 

    Oh, Lynn, what an awful experience for you. Don't take the burden of thinking you could have prevented his death; you couldn't. Suicide is a very personal thing and it's usually not even understood by the people who do it.

    Is your mom still around? Maybe she can give you some insights into why your father treated you the way he did. She may not know, or may not be willing to share, but now that your father is gone she may be able to shed some understanding on his behaviour.

    Posted 1 year ago by CheetahBoysmommy #

54. 

    Lynn, I am so sorry to have met you under these circumstances. I've been with this site for over a year and know that the people here are the most caring and supportive group I've EVER met anywhere! Please accept my most heartfelt prayers and condolences to you and your family. All of my prayers to God are with you at this time. Do not rush or allow anyone else to rush you through the grieving processes and as others have said eloquently, DO NOT blame yourself in any way, shape or form for this. We can never know all of the misguided reasons.
    {{hugs}} to you.

    Posted 1 year ago by Tigger #

55. 

    Sweetheart, I am so sorry for what he did to you in life and now in death. You are a lovely and darling creature with a heart of gold and a spirit like shining steel. The world is a better place for having you in it.

    Your father should have been honored to call you "daughter," and if he wasn't, that is his most grievous loss. Not to have taken his life, but to have pushed you away. I am glad your brothers supported you.

    I know that you will not use these words about your father, but I will: he had a better daughter than he ever deserved, and I think he knew it.

    Some people dislike an individual because of the way they treat them, not the other way around. It sounds as though your father did great wrong to you and then tried to justify it by saying he was not your father, he did not love you, you were not what he wanted, etc.

    Stupid, isn't it? It also happens much more than any of us want to admit. To throw away love is such a waste.

    No matter what happens, Lynn, we know you and we love you.

    You are part of this family -- THIS family of TDK -- noisy and kind-hearted and cat-loving and raucous and sometimes irritating, with an occasional food fight or pom-pom war thrown in for good measure.

    We have lunches together in real places and cyber-cafes, we pray for each other, check up on each other to make sure everyone's safe, and we always help each other. Sometimes with material goods, always with prayers and blessings and continued interest and affection.

    If every great family in the world claimed you, you would still be in our family forever. You are such a blessing to us all, Lynn.

    And you are always in our prayers.

    Posted 1 year ago by Emma #

56. 

    Well said, Emma. Anything I were to add would only diminish the meaning. You are OUR family, Lynn, and we love you just the way you are!

    *adjusts Mr. Rogers zipper sweater and heads out to hang with Daniel Striped Tiger*

    Posted 1 year ago by gatakitty #

57. 

    I'm so sorry for all your pain, Lynn. I'll have you in my prayers

    Posted 1 year ago by Cat talk rules #

58. 

    I cannot add to Emma's beautiful words, Lynn. There is one thing that I know. Sometimes we grieve for the parent that we wished that we had had. The relationship that never existed, but that we prayed would happen. And sometimes the grief for the life that we never knew in relationships can be devastating.

    You cannot change what your father was, or more importantly, what he was not. But you can live your life giving your love to others. How sad his life must have been, and what a lost opportunity for him not to have known your beautiful spirit. But that was his loss.

    Sometimes we really do learn more from a negative role model, or at least as much as we learn from a positive role model. Perhaps your father has given you a gift in helping you to know the kind of person that you do not want to be.

    We are all there with you right now, even if you can't see us. {{{Hugs}}}

    Posted 1 year ago by WillowandWindismom #

59. 

    {{{HUGS}}} I am sorry--I am just catching up with this thread, I have been too busy moving to be online much.

    Posted 1 year ago by Sheba's Mom in Phoenix, AZ 10/8 #

60. 

    I thank you all so very much for your kind words and I apologize for not writing sooner. I cried so much since my Dad died that I have had a headache every day since. I did the same thing when my baby Cane Cane passed away as well. It throbs and throbs and the more you sit up the more it hurts. I have a Doctor appointment today at 11:40 so hopefully she can make it go away. I logged on to the TDK site and couldn't believe all the responses I have gotten. All written so beautifully and so full of compassion and love. You guys are an awesome and I am proud to be a part of this great family. I thank you again for the prayers, love, concern and most of all for excepting me into the TDK family. My babies and I thank you for all that you do and have done for us all.

    Hugs & Purrs to all of you!

    Posted 1 year ago by Lynnnmo #

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