From your posts, I can see that alot of you guys are either involved in rescue, feral support or shelter activity...Honestly, how do you guys deal with the inevitable sadness that comes from a tragic admission, or just the ones that have been there forever, that no one seems interested in? I've only volunteered at a local no-kill since last December, and kind of thought I'd become a bit "hardened" to the sadder cases that came in, but it seems with the passing weeks that I've only become more emotional and more attached to the "unwanted" ones....I tell myself it's a no-kill, and they have food, shelter, and people to care for them, but we all know it's not quite the same as a home..It just kills me lately to go in, and see those little faces meowing at me behind the glass door...I'd take them all of ocurse, if room allowed, but 3 is about my limit...It's been taking such an emotional toll on me lately that I've thought about giving it up....but then I think of those little faces that are looking for a couple of hours of love...killing me!
Daily Kitten Chat Forum » General Chat
How do you guys cope?
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Sullis : One can never really hardened up when faced with situations like these. Each cat is different and each of them has a story to tell. I really do not know how anyone is able to keep sane and not wanting to shoot the people who abandoned and abused these helpless being. I am so proud of the work you are doing and maybe it will bring you comfort knowing that the cats have you to show them what it means to be loved. I am a softie and this is something that I can never bring myself to do. And because of that, I donate to my local charity and sponsor cats in needs instead.
Posted 3 years ago by tutti-bella #
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Sullis I feel the same way as you do. I tried volunteering at the local Humane Society and just couldn't keep it up for long. It really took its toll on me emotionally and eventually physically. I realized then that I was not cut out for doing this type of work. Thank God there are those who have the intestinal fortitude I don't possess. As a matter of fact on the Heros page on my website I explain in more detail pretty much what you have described. I have decided to remain "behind the scenes" so to speak and apply myself to things like fund raising. At least I know it is doing something positive for animals and I don't come home with roaring headaches and sleepless nights.
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Sullis you're a stronger one than I. I understand perfectly how you must feel and will only say this....Your strength in being there is making such a wonderful difference in the lives of those who are still waiting for a home. They need someone who will be genuine in the love, not someone who has hardened to their needs. I'm very proud of you and pray for all your shelter babies to find Furever homes. {{{Hugs}}}
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I really think of them all as my second "cat family"...just breaks my heart when the ones "with issues" are passed over (that's why I had to take Buster.)
It's become a real struggle for me; everytime I think, "I just can't take it anymore," I think of them waiting for me Tuesday afternoons...I guess sometimes it feels to me like I'm not making a big difference, but I'd like to think I make a difference to those little guys waiting for homes..and we only have maybe 12 cats right now at the shelter; I don't know how I'd handle working at the main branch/intake center where there's over 100!! I try to take solace in the fact that they really do have a pretty good adoption rate...I think I'm just a bit too sensitive! -
I can't speak from experience because I haven't volunteered at a shelter or dealt with feral cats, but it seems to me that if you focus on the ones you help instead of on all the ones who need help and don't get it, that will keep you going. No one person can solve this problem. I admire you for what you have done and support you in doing whatever is necessary for your self care. If you need a break, take a break.
Here is a poem that might help: http://www.ncsr-md.org/Starfish1.htm
Posted 3 years ago by Kitten Whisperer #
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I'm not sure I could do that either but at a no kill shelter, maybe. A lot of animals do adjust to a situation and if they are sheltered and fed thats a big improvement over fending for themselves. And you do make a difference to them a bright spot on their Tues afternoon.
Posted 3 years ago by Cat talk rules #
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I've worked at No kill shelters with over 60 cats before and I couldn't do it for long. The stories would start to get to me,there would be the inevitable ones that got sick and died and after a while I couldn't go back. Always after a few kitties claimed me as theirs and wouldn't take no for an answer.
I would take a break if I were you. I ended up going back occasionally with treats and catnip to play with the kitties but I couldn't work there for more than a few months. It's really hard. I know that you are making a difference but you have to take care of yourself first. Take break and decide if you can go back and if yes how and figure out what bothers you the most avoid that if possible. I always liked playing with and socializing the kitties,I could give meds but I hated taking them to PetSmart to get placed. I just couldn't stand it.
And thanks so much for what you do but take care of yourself too .
[[[Sullis]]] -
Sullis, it's so very difficult. There are countless kitties who need help, and one would like to see each one find a loving family for a lifetime.
I always have to go back and focus on what I can do. Today, I took some inexpensive but safe cat toys to Wayside Waifs, a local shelter. Most of the toys are designed for use in the individual cages, but several are wand toys that adopters can use to play with the kitties. And I put all the toys in a big ziplog bag and added about a cup of catnip; thought it might provide some extra interest.
Then I stopped and talked with a newish volunteer, while petting several different kitties and identifying several who might appreciate some time out of their cages.
I ended up leaving a little sadder, because I couldn't do everything I wanted to do. (Especially for the lovely little shaded kitty with the URI.) But I thought about the future good the toys will do, for all the kitties I couldn't pay attention to today.
On my last shopping stop before heading home, I found another 6 toys to take in tomorrow.
And... hold your breath... but I may have found a wonderful family to adopt Otto and Ellis together!! I will know more after next weekend. Cross your fingers for them!
Posted 3 years ago by anncetera2 #
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Sullis In college I spent 6 months volunteering at my local shelter which sadly is not a no kill shelter! I worke din both the cats and the dogs. I took the smaller doogs, and puppies and the extremely freindly ones out into the play area to run and jsut get out of their cages (2 hours). Then a i'd spend an hour with the cats and kittens. i would clean boxes, refresh water and food dishes, comb, pet, hold give loving's too! Each sad case broke my heart. i did it 2 days a week. And as time pasted and another baby was put to sleep one I worked with to socialize and make more adoptable and the only reason they were killed was their time was up or we needed more room.
6 months 2 days a week 6 hours a week for my life. All for a college course. Only to come in and try to help then leave crying becuase another baby would not be their when I returned! It broke my heart! I can't bring myself to enter another animal shelter! It makes me physically ill and my heart seems to stop.
When I visit places like petsmart with the kitties for adoption. It breaks my heart but at least they are able to be with people outside of the shelter.
Eventually while working through home and hospital I happened to be at my students home when the sh** ht the fan and they looked at me and Said they would never adopt out a pet to me and they would be telling the local shelter. So I am on a list of not to be allowed to adopt. They wont admit it, but I went in once after it to see and they took my name and did a check and came back and said we are sorry but you are not eligible to adopt!
So I am glad I have my MaxMax even if I had to pay way more then a shelters adoption fee. Besides coonies are my breed , but I do feel sorrow for the babies I could have given homes to in the future!
Posted 3 years ago by Momma to 2 MaineCoons #
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Sullis, I've cried loads and I know the girls who work at the shelter every day do too. There were weeks I stayed away too at the beginning. When it comes right down to it, I just have to keep thinking, is it better for the kitties there if I go? And if it is then I owe it to them to turn up that afternoon. It's a cliche but I try to take it just one day at a time.
But I am lucky. The shelter I volunteer at is small and I see a lot of happy endings. Like KW says, you have to keep focusing on those. The other week, two of my favourite cats found a lovely forever home with a mum and her two girls. I plopped those cats into those young girls' arms when they walked in the door and they never left them. When I went in on Friday, we had had our first kittens for this season, Greta had given birth to her babies (5!) and they were only two days old. I know I shouldn't be so pleased to see kittens arriving, given the circumstances, but they make me so happy when I watch them play. I'm not being a martyr, I get heaps more out of it than I put in.
Ann, that's such good news about Otto and Ellis. Fingers and toes and eyes and everything crossed that this will be one of those happy endings!
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I know; I feel like I'm being a bit ridiculous when I get so emotional, and I do need to focus on the fact that so many have been placed since I started there...I think what gets me are those cases where a cat who's human-shy for whatever reason slowly starts coming around, and sits in your lap, or lets you brush and pet him...I should be thinking I'm helping him become more adoptable instead of worrying about him finding a home! ACKKK! Ok, enough...if I can make their day a little better it's worth doing!
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Sullis...I know it takes a certain type personality to do what alot of us here on TDK have done for the animal world. But, the bottom line is...none of us copes completely. We wouldn't be human if we did. I can't tell you how many times I cried,even over the little ones I rescued that I never became "attached to". Living where I do & having limitations to the # of animals we can have,alot of them were kept hidden from management in their initial rescue. With the exception of the last few litters rescued,all of the rescues I still have are only bonded to me (non-helper here could care less about their mental health). This includes Hopper,my very LAST rescue. Problem w/him, is that I don't have funds for any kind of shots or medical check-ups & the voucher given to me for him didn't include shots.
I'll never be able to integrate him in with the rest & his life was so extremely dreadful for the 13-14 yrs. on the streets,that I can't bear to let him out again.
As you can see,even after 20 yrs. here of rescueing,I still don't cope well. :( -
Petpntr I think what is was was the person I was doing the home hospital for was lieing to them about me or using me as a scapegoat or someone who would back them up! I am not sure! I do know when I left after my 6 months when I left because it broke my heart to go and come back and another one was gone and not because of forever homes. I did speak to the woman in charge about the policies and what not and she wasn't too pleased with me so the shelter wasn't to pleased once I left. And then the local feline chapter here was the one the family was involved in. And I know for a fact the two work together and are close friends. SO mostly out of spite most likely!
So I think it had to do with the families lies and they never checked into them and the fact that I had treaded on the shelters bosses toes and so until she is gone it was hopeless.
But it's okay I have my Max and I can go out to other petsmarts when the time comes out of their areas! In my area not to many have classifieds for kittens anymore, they tak ethem to the feline shelter!
I wish I could explain more and better but all i know was I was found unsuitable to adopt!
Posted 3 years ago by Momma to 2 MaineCoons #
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yup! If they saw my MaxMax now they'd be kicking their own butts that's for sure! But teir choices and it just shows when they allow lies and self opions to get in the way of adopting a baby into a home over killing them that they are in the wrong field!
Posted 3 years ago by Momma to 2 MaineCoons #
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Sullis, I didn't mean to make you feel bad about taking a break. I've done that often too. You're NOT being ridiculous when you get emotional -- you're there BECAUSE you care, that's the whole point!
And if you're helping to socialise scared cats, you ARE improving their chances of getting a home by an exponential amount! And their daily lives at the shelter. Don't beat yourself up, hon, do what you have to do for you!
And ginormous {{{HUGS}}} to Feral!
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Good for you, Sullis! I'm happy you decided to continue--these cats need you more than you know. Bless you for doing this! I used to work near the County Animal Shelter-I had to change the route I took home because just passing by, knowing what happens to most of the animals there, would start me crying. Remeber, "What goes around, comes around" so I believe you will get back more good than you give!
Posted 3 years ago by Sheba's Mom in Phoenix, AZ 10/8 #
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