hi all....i arrived in NY yesterday. i'm really enjoing it all..... i did have a small tiffy with my hubby - he wanted me to go to this baby shower on my birthday for this other indian sikh guy and his non sikh wife who married him for false pretences. he married her for citizenship, she married him for money and attention and an easy way out of poverty. now, to be honest, i like babies, but the last place want to be on my bday is a baby shower unless it's like my best friend or something anyway. but thi really crosses the limit. my husband acted like a baby for while getting all upset when he couldn't understand that it stamps on my morals, and that i wasn't gong to agree to it. nonetheless, i put my foot down, and said smply there is no way i am going to that thing. if you want to go, fine, but leave me out of it. know if i had gone i would not have been able to control myself and would have made a real scene. so anyway.....we finally put that aside, and maybe one day he will understand the moral implications if he's shown the light. onto nicer things, today we went to the gurdwara (sikh church). to be blatantly honest this was my first time inside one, because back where my mum is in PA, they are too far away to drive to. but it was lovely nonetheless. we went in, took our shoes off and put them in the shoe rack by the door, went into the 'prayer' room or whatever.....offered our blessng, and enjoyed a handful of prasad. prasad is like a warm, sweet, farina clump. it's like getting communion in christianity, except you don't have to be sikh and you don't have to be baptised or confirmed to have it. even non sikhs who are just curious to learn about other religions are welcome to it. then we went and had langar - the free meal which is usually served after the service. often times, langar is vegetarian. i was happy to find our langar meal had chicken bits. t also wasn't overly spicy heatwse, unlike my uncle's cooking. you could tatse the other spices in the meal, and it wasn't second rate in quality. it was really nice. the only issue im havng is that it is sooooo damn COLD, and my husband's family thinks that keeping it a bit on the cold side in the house is good for you, yet we are all sneezing in turn at various intervals. and we are doing alot of practicing for our interview so that we are as comfortable and confident as possible. we keep going over various common sense things a couple should know, and making sure we iron out details we may forget. our friend also came over to take us to the gurdwara, and would be interested in being my business partner to sell my paintings. he asked me why i wouldn't just rather do it on my own, and why i'd be so gracious to let him have some of my profits. i told him because he's family to me, and because i'm not so greedy that i wouldn't be willing to share the money made from my work with him, especially as he's willing to set up a website for me and do other business stuff that i do not have the mind for. he insists otherwise, but this i why im a painter, not a business woman. :) i'd also be interested in doing this, because it would help make some money whsilt my husband looks for work, and maybe if i could earn enough, t would take less tme before we could set up house together full time. i always try to put family and other people's concern's first!
Daily Kitten Chat Forum » General Chat
Nirmal in NY
(12 posts)-
-
Hi Nirmal, sounds like you had a very busy day and you also stood up for something you believe in. There is a Sikh church not far from where I live, thanks for explaining some of the things you do in your gurdwara. Good luck for your interview and stay warm.
Posted 1 year ago by Moonshadow_NZ #
-
Nirmal, Good for you for standing up for your beliefs! Yea!!!
Thank you for sharing a bit of the happenings in the Sikh church. I think we are all interesting in what goes on in other religions but never ask or go to them. I find interesting at least :) I should go to church more myself and we are looking into it especially since we are parents now.
Sorry it's so cold..I am in Ohio, so I feel your pain, they are calling for 6-12 inches tonight of snow...brrrrrr
Hang in there and have a great time in NY!!!Posted 1 year ago by cricketsmama #
-
Wow what an exciting start to your time in NY..I'm very happy you stood your moral ground about the baby shower!! And thanks for the explaination of Sikh church and it's members. How wonderful that everyone is welcome..And sorry they are keeping the heater turned down, but it does help with the germs not spreading..but it sounds like it would still be okay to turn it up a bit...Just remember wearing two thinner shirts is much warmer than 1 thick shirt. Dress in many layers should help you stay warmer...
-
Neat explanation. When I was in highschool one of my friends was Sikh, but she never invited me to church with her. She was born here in the US and I think she was uncomfortable sharing her heritage and her parents with others. You know how 14 yeard olds are! Thanks for the insight!
Posted 1 year ago by KYKAT 12 23 #
-
oh, non sikhs r always welcome as long as they respect our culture, and relgion, and we will never try to convert you unless you wish to on your own accord. it's against our faith to preach and sell the faith. it's ironic about what KYKAT says because some desi r still like that, but yet they are often gullible and too willing to allow others to take advantage of them, and give up their culture for broken promises. anyway, you're al so welcome, im always glad to explian anything for u! and you're all welcome to join me when i go to Gurdwara one day! i also incredibly apprciate getting the wonderful support from you guys about the whole baby shower thng. i felt bad that i hurt my husband, but he has to learn not to forsake our culture and morals, yet to respect others. unfortuantely even he is gullible enough to believe some of the actions of people so willing to make a buck off others....he is aware of some, but not to all. i hope he'll learn eventually.
-
Nirmal, my friend Alpita's parents made sure that they kept their culture alive at home. I think Alpita was insecure and thought that her non-Indian friends wouldn't understand or would reject her if she was too different. We lost touch when they closed our highschool and we ended up at two different schools. I hope as she grew up that she learned that her friends loved her because of all that she is and that includes her culture and family. I will always wonder though if she married the boy her parents intended her to marry or of she chose another path. Maybe I'll google her maiden name and see what I can find.
Posted 1 year ago by KYKAT 12 23 #
-
As far as your husband Nirmal...he may be gullible, but I believe that like many people, they just find it hard to believe that others could do such things. It sounds like he has wonderful heart, just needs to understand not ever person is a good person! I get like too sometimes. {{{HUGS}}}}
ps. how would you pronounce Gurdwara? is it like good-wara?
-
-
yea...he is very good...he just needs his eyes opened. he's too willing to believe the wrong things unless guided whch takes time. and ur right...he tries to say to me that not all people are the same, which is true, but there are telltale signs which he and it seems others are not keen to, and it's doing damage they don't realise. anyway, gurdwara is pronounced gurd as in curd, war as in car, uh.
-
-
ur welcome! don't worry.....being mixed race i had to learn about my culture as though i were a westerner, yet had to keep in mnd it was not for the curiousity as westerners have, it's because it's my culture (one reason why mixed race marriages are not good, because they screw up the future family members, unless they decide to abandon their culture which isn't good. respect all cultures and peoples but keep to ur culture....it's simpler and better for all). anyway, i had to and stilllll am learning punjabi and hindi, and i sound awefully funny to my relatives when i pronounce stuff. think of it as when we make fun of foriegners pronouncing english, but in reverse. however, i know they are just joking with me, so i just tease them back. i alays threaten to steal my husband's face hairs....
Reply
You must log in to post.