We'll start with coffee and Bailey's and continue with the worst jokes known to mankind.
Daily Kitten Chat Forum » General Chat
EEEEKKK!!! - The night for good food and bad jokes
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Christmas Cake
(Jouluinen täytekakku)
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Recipe Ingredients4 eggs
1 ½ dl sugar
1 ½ dl flourFilling:
250 gr quark (maitorahka)
2 dl whipping cream
2 – 3 dl grated apple
sugarIcing:
5 dl strong cranberry or lingonberry juice
3 tbs potato starchRecipe Cooking and Preparation Method:
Beat sugar and eggs until light and fluffy. Fold in the flour. Pour the mixture into a buttered cake tin. Bake at 175 degrees Celsius for approximately 40 minutes. Cut the cooled cake into three layers and moisten with apple juice.
Whip cream until stiff and add quark. Add grated apples and sweeten with some sugar.
Spread the filling on the layers.Dissolve the potato starch in the juice (cranberry or lingonberry) and pour the mixture into a saucepan. Bring to a boil whilst constantly stirring. Set aside to cool for a while and then pour over the cake.
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Food Serving SuggestionServe Christmas Cake at Christmas time with a cup of coffee or tea.
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Q: What do clouds wear under their clothes?
A: Thunderware.http://www.recreationtherapy.com/tx/trajokes.htm
http://www.rinkworks.com/jokes/ -
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A guy went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee, and then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?"
The doctor replied, "It's very simple. You're two tents."
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I apologize to all blondes out there but I couldn't resist:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Blonde's Year in Review:
January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels..... "duh".....bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!
March - Got excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"
April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!!
May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!
June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
August - Got locked out of car in rain storm.....car swamped, because top was down.
September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???
October - Hate working at the M & M Factory.....got written up for throwing out all the W's.
November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!
December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the phone!!!
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Easy Chocolate Cake
* 2/3 cup cocoa powder
* 1/2 cup butter
* 2 Tbsp. oil
* 1 cup milk
* 2 cups flour
* 1-1/2 cups sugar
* 1/2 cup brown sugar
* 1/8 tsp. salt
* 1-1/2 tsp. baking soda
* 1/2 cup buttermilk
* 2 eggs
* 1-1/2 tsp. vanilla
* 1/3 cup cocoa powder
* 1/3 cup butter
* 1/2 cup milk
* 4 cups powdered sugar
* 1 tsp. vanillaPreheat oven to 350 degrees F. In a large heavy saucepan, combine cocoa powder, butter, oil, and 1 cup milk. Place over medium heat and cook until butter melts and mixture comes to a boil. As soon as the mixture boils, remove it from the heat and beat with a wire whisk.
Add flour, sugars, salt, and baking soda. Beat well (batter will be thick at this point). Then add buttermilk, eggs, and 1-1/2 tsp. vanilla and beat again until batter is smooth and shiny.
Spray 13x9" pan with flour based cooking spray. Pour batter (batter will be thin) into prepared pan. Bake at 350 degrees F for 25-35 minutes, until cake has risen and edges begin to pull away from sides of pan. Toothpick inserted in center will come out clean.
Let cake cool for 30 minutes. Then prepare frosting. In a heavy saucepan, combine 1/3 cup cocoa with 1/3 cup butter. Place over low heat and cook until butter melts and mixture is smooth, stirring frequently. Remove from heat and add 1/2 cup milk, powdered sugar, and 1 tsp. vanilla and beat until smooth. Immediately pour over cake. Frosting should level itself, but you may need to even it off with a knife. Let cool completely, then cut into squares. Serves 12.
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A man is waiting for wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years, the son is old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar and tearfully tells the son he is proud of him.
Dad orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! A torso pops out!
The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink"! The bartender still shakes his head in dismay.
Swoooop! Two arms pops out. The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant, "Take another drink"! The bartender ignores the whole affair. By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Swoooop! Two legs pop out.
The bar is in chaos. The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left.... then to the right.... right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly.
The bar falls silent. The father moans in grief. The bartender sighs and says, "That boy should have quit while he was a head."
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