I know that I have been selfish in asking for prayers, but this time I need them for me. My mom, God love her- somebody has to, is driving me totally crazy. I can't stand even being around her half the time. I know that part of it is that she is not feeling well, no chemo and all that, but she acts like the whole world owes her something. I'm the only one of the kids around and I have to deal with everything. I am sitting here crying and I can't stand it anymore.
Daily Kitten Chat Forum » General Chat
I need prayers for me now
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Posted 4 years ago by Bogman, Clark and Andy's mama 2/27 Florida #
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Terri, It is very hard to be the foundation for your family when they take advantage of your compassion. I am the rock in my family, the baby but still the rock. When scared, stressed, depressed, or just anything they don't think they can shoulder they come to me the level-headed logical thinking one who id fearless. I am these things but like everyone else not always. Try to talk to Mom, let her know the extra stress she is putting on you and how it is affecting your two's relationship.
I know when not well we all act selfish and cranky, maybe even arguementative, but we still need to be reminded our llove ones don't desurve to be unloaded on.
Terri I'm here for ya and will send prayers for you!
Love Ange
Posted 4 years ago by Momma to 2 MaineCoons #
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Terri, sending hugs, prayers, headbonks, purrs, sandpaper kisses and all your way.
Hang in there, we're all here for ya..
Ccm
Posted 4 years ago by Crazycatman - CA #
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Dear Terri,
You've taken on a big job-I know, I've done that, too. When people are faced with their immortality, it causes them to act in many different ways. Right now, she may be quite scared of what is to come, and you're the one she has to take it out on. Please know that you're not alone, and that you have a lot of people who send their prayers for you and your Mom.Be patient with her, take some time for yourself if you can and get away for a little while. I wish I had taken a little more time and had a little more patience with my Mom, but now she's gone. God bless you and your family.
Love, JimmiePosted 4 years ago by MaxandCali'sMom #
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Oh, Terri, it is so easy for family members to forget the needs of the one they always turn to for support. You have lots of support here! It is very natural for you to feel anger at the treatment you are receiving from your mom. She is probably frightened over her health setback. Please take good care of yourself. {{{hugs}}}
Posted 4 years ago by Kitten Whisperer #
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Hi Terri,
I am the eldest of 10 and have shouldered the responsibility of dealing with my Mom because none of my siblings can be bothered, well the ones who live close enough to be able to help out anyway. I know exactly what you're feeling and it ain't pretty.
I'm sending prayers and white light your way....if things really get crazy get someone to stay with her for a weekend and come to VA and visit with me....it's not very far and will give you some away time... :)Posted 4 years ago by KathyfromVA #
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Don't feel like you are selfish in asking for prayers and other support. We had a good sermon this morning on bearing each others burdens and a good deal of it was about asking for help. Most of us are willing to help others but we balk at asking for help for ourselves. Its a blessing to me to be able to pray for others so I shouldn't rob others of the same blessing to pray for me. That said I'm praying for you.
Posted 4 years ago by Cat talk rules #
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Thanks everybody. My grandma used to tell me that I was an old soul, that I was born to take care of everybody else. The only thing is that I just don't have enough left to take care of myself.
Kathy, thanks for the offer!! I might just take you up on it! Love Ter
Posted 4 years ago by Bogman, Clark and Andy's mama 2/27 Florida #
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{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}
Take some time for yourself. If you can, go with friends to a funny movie or just sit around cracking jokes, something that will distract you and get you more relaxed. Or take a long walk and any time you think of the situation, firmly tell yourself that it's not time for that now.
Schedule some time off just the same way you'd schedule a doctor's appointment. It IS a doctor's appointment, time to take care of your own health.
Call your siblings and ask them when they _will_ come out and spell you for a while. Or if they're in a situation where they really can't, make them at LEAST schedule a long phone call each week, so that your mother will have somebody else to talk to about her gripes. Stand up for yourself here, since it sure looks like nobody else will! If you give them specifics of what to do, that puts them right back on the hook for helping.
Also, make sure that you're doing what _you_ think needs to be done for her, not what she demands you do. Sometimes YMCAs or Parks and Recreation departments have programs for older adults. If she's got cabin fever and is bored, something else to do will mean she'll have less time to brood.
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I will pray for you too, also look into homr health aids to help with your mother to take some of the pressure off of you. If she is really bad off get her enrolled in hospice, most of those have counciling for family members as well. But the home health people are your best bet other than an adult day care facillity. I will pray for you and your mom,
AlePosted 4 years ago by TheKnittingNinja #
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Terri, I am so sorry for your situation and how you are feeling right now. God knows lately, I have been at my wits end too. You are not selfish for asking for words of advice and comfort. That is what we are here for. If your mother needs more care than you can give, you must look to alternative help, be it siblings or professional help. You getting sick is not going to make this any better. Know I love you and am here for you should you need me. Hang in there girlfriend, we support you. Hugs purrs and love Lynn
Posted 4 years ago by Lynn from PA 6/8 #
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{{{{HUGS}}}} to you,T&Bm!! I'm so sorry I live so far from you(3500 miles approx.!)but please know you are ALWAYS in my heart and prayers!! You lifted me up when I first came here,all timid and nervous.You AND Jo in Blairsville if I remember my Introductory Thread correctly.It's payback time,woman!!!
You deserve all the Love we can send you and then some!!Don't be afraid to take up KathyfromVA's offer if you can manage to swing it!!We all care for you,Terri.Stand tall! -
T and B's Mama.... You have my wishes for peace and rest. I know all too well what you are going through. Dad is still not home (in a care center with a new infection - went in to hospital 9/14). My only family is my brother and he's on the other side of the world.
Thinking of you and praying. -
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Little red-haired girls are special and you are no exception. Be proud of yourself for being there for your mom even when you don't want to be... and when you feel so overwhelmed, you don't know if you can be.
You can and you will. Because you won't have her forever. And because you love her.
Posted 4 years ago by Jo in Blairsville #
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Tiger and Bogman's mom, you are an angel to be there for your mother, bless you.
Posted 4 years ago by AZDEBRA 5/27 & crew #
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Awwww, I'm sorry you're having such a tough time with your mom, Terri! You're a great person always being there for your mom, and it's understandable that it's going to wear on you. Hang in there - I'll pray for you.
Try to find a little you-time and let your kitties halp calm you. Hugs to you, Bog and TigerButt! -
People who are sick tend to be self-absorbed. Just forgive your mother, thank God for the time you have right now with her, and quit beating yourself up.
Now, go grab a handful of time just for yourself. Asking for prayers is not selfish; needing some time by yourself is not selfish, either. See if someone can be with your mother for a while (a few hours, or a day or two) so that you can recharge your batteries.
Rocks can crumble, if they are under too much pressure. And I am praying for you right now, Terri. Be of good cheer -- you are so loved!
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Oh Terri, you have a lot on your shoulders what with you Mom and all. It is hard to gently remind them that you are doing all you can and that everyone is trying to help her without feeling guilty about her situation.
When your Mom is being at her worst, you might say in a low, gentle voice, Mom, please, I know you are not feeling good but it doesn't help to hurt me when I am trying to help you. I love you and care about you. If she will let you, give her a huge hug.
In return, here is a huge hug for you.
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Terri, I am sending your prayers and strength (you are SO not selfish to ask). It is so hard to be the strong one all the time and I hope you get some relief soon. ((hugs))
Posted 4 years ago by HuddysMama #
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Terri, there is plenty of good advise here. Our church has a support group for caregivers; they usually get together once a month or so. I wonder if any churches in your area have a similar program. Sometimes it helps to know that you are not alone. Keeping you (and your mom) in my prayers.
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The worst thing of all is that all of my sibs (except my baby brother) tells me how happy they are that I'm here taking care of my mom. I really don't care about their feelings and I really don't know why my parents felt it necessary to tell me that everyone is happy that I'm here. If they were so happy, why doesn't somebody give me a break. I mean, I can't even get a break with my husband helping as he is 6 1/2 hours away. The only time that I can have to myself is when my folks travel and then mom comes home even more sorry for herself. I AM SO TIRED.
Posted 4 years ago by Bogman, Clark and Andy's mama 2/27 Florida #
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Terri-you are definitely in my thoughts and prayers.
Posted 4 years ago by MeezerMama in OK; 10/23 #
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