Dear TDK Family,
I was thinking in the shower (Yes, I do sometimes think and frequently in the shower. I tried singing arias from Cats but it was clearly traumatizing Windi.) that my 2009 kitten calender is on my desk and still mostly blank. Even the newspapers today were not full of doom and gloom (Well, unless you count Texas Tech losing in the Cotton Bowl), but that could change tomorrow and so I wanted very much to make some proposals to you today.
TDK is absolutely such a unique and loving community. I have never (as CM would remind me in my advanced years seeing as how I can remember the Ice Age) been a part of anything quite like it. So, what are the things that make TDK so special? And feel free to jump in with your own 'bullets':
Loving and supportive members. (Where else can you go with something very close to your heart and receive an outpouring of genuine support and love?)
Excellent advice on kittens and kitties, and even the rare dog, pig or Meatball. Although I have had cats all of my life, Mr. WWM and I had never had feral kittens. You all have really helped me so much since Willow and Windi came to be our babies. I wish you could cure Windi of her rather erratic behavior but we'll keep working on it.
Recipes! You know that I love that!
Informative stories and issues that we share. And jokes (I really like that!) In short, educational sharing on a multitude of topics.
Most important - Friendship. What a rare and beautiful gift a friend is, and because it is so rare and beautiful, it bears extra protection and care. Much like a treasured glass heirloom Christmas ornament might. It needs extra padding, and a place of honor on the tree.
But, like all communities, sometimes we don't quite get it right.
Of course we will have disagreements because we are, after all, hoomins. And when you put two or more of our species together, you are going to have disagreements. (Actually it doesn't always take two. I have been known to be able to have on-going disagreements with myself where Mr. WWM stands back in amazement and watches to see who wins.) There is such a wealth of information and experience amongst our members that it is incredible. Sometimes the way that a opinion or suggestion is received is all in the manner in which it was given. We are a group with forceful opinions. That's not always bad (Mr. WWM can tell you how many times I have tried to make my 5'4" frame look much bigger to a doctor when I am voicing a difference of opinion), but there is a way to offer suggestions and some ways that don't work too well.
But, I believe that there is a vast difference in a disagreement and in taking it to a point where a person feels belittled, hurt, and just generally made to feel awful.
All of us face making a myriad of decisions every day. Some important, some not so much. And, because we are rational people, we make those decisions by filtering the information that we have on our personal situation, the pros and cons, the information at hand and we come up with the decision that is right for us. Sometimes we make mistakes. But - we are hoomins! Of course we make mistakes.
I believe that as members of this community, we should offer advice when it is sought, which is most of the time. But I also believe that to not respect a decision that one of us has made, and to get out the whack-bonk sticks and pound it to a bloody pulp, does not do much to insure the continuation of TDK, or the friendships between our family. Sadly, because we are an internet community, the "non-verbal" aspect of communication is missing. We can't see each other's expressions, or even hear the little nuances in speech that can totally change what we are trying to say. And so we must rely on written word. Sometimes it is written word that is written in a 'moment' and which might cause us regret later. (Thus the reason for the Coke Rules)
Now, as Miss Maddie can tell you, there is no hurt that can't be fixed with a kiss, a hug, a word of comfort and sometimes, a bandaid *rummages in nursing bag and pulls out a gross of I Love Kitty bandaids*. "I'm sorry" goes an awfully long way, too.
And so , Dear Family, while 2009 is still fresh and new (even that New Years baby has still managed to keep that top hat on), may I propose that we wipe our slates clean. Harboring grudges or hurt never got any of us anywhere. Life is too short. Friendship is too special.
We aren't on the Chinese calender of a new year, but if I may, could I proclaim 2009 to be
THE TDK YEAR OF FLUFF
Sorry for the long post. But you all will remember that I am the person who can say in twenty words what most people can say in five.
A few quotes that probably say it much better:
“Relationships-of all kinds-are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold onto some of it, but most will be spilled. A relationship is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost.”
“A friend drops their plans when you're in trouble, shares joy in your accomplishments, feels sad when you're in pain. A friend encourages your dreams and offers advice--but when you don't follow it, they still respect and love you.”
“I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way”
“The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof.”
“I must respect the opinions of others even if I disagree with them”
And so, Dear Family, *pours glasses of champagne* I propose a toast to the long life of TDK and to friendship!
Love,
WWM
