Daily Kitten Chat Forum » Cats & Kittens

1. 

   Now that little 7-8 week old Mina can come out and play, Vesper (17 years old) has not been happy. I caught some photos of the situation that pretty clearly show the state of affairs:

   Mina is playing in a sunbeam
   http://www.flickr.com/photos/treether/3416487068/in/set-72157600284231826/

   Uh oh, who is lurking behind her?
   http://www.flickr.com/photos/treether/3415676159/in/set-72157600284231826/
   http://www.flickr.com/photos/treether/3415675673/in/set-72157600284231826/

   Mina responds by tucking down her ears and cowering... :(

   I know that they have to work this out on their own, and it might never happen -- but if anyone here has successfully gotten an older female and a baby female to get along, I'd love to hear your tips.

   Mina lived in our bathroom for about a month before we let her and Vesper out at the same time. Now that she is a little bigger, Vesper seems more angry than she did when she was helpless.

   Vesper hasn't actually attacked her yet, but she has taken a swat at her and growls menacingly whenever she sees Mina. Mina has gone from not really noticing Vesper to running and hiding (and staying as close to us as she can when she's not in "her" bathroom).

   Last night they did briefly sleep on the same couch, but Vesper would wake up every few minutes and growl softly.

   Posted 2 years ago by treether #

2. 

   Vesper looks pi**ed off! WOW! I hope that they can work this out! Mina and Vesper would be so good together! I have not had this experience before but I sure hope they will work it out. Mina is really growing fast! She is beautiful! Vesper is pretty gorgeous too!

   Posted 2 years ago by mollycat71 #

3. 

   Vesper is probably feeling very insecure right now. Look at it from her point of view: this was her own little family, she's basked in your sole attention and love for 17 years (!) and all of a sudden there's a little interloper in the house who's probably getting a lot of attention and really annoying the heck out of her. She must be very worried that you're replacing her.

   Of course you're not, but this is the time when she needs all the love and attention and reassurance that you've got. She needs to know that she's still top cat in your eyes. When she and the kitten are in the same room, focus all your attention on Vesper and ignore the kitten (really hard to do but Mina will be fine!) Smother her with love and attention and whatever she likes.

   You could also try a Feliway diffuser, just till they start to get along, many TDKers have had very good results with Feliway.

   Best of luck, both your girls are absolutely beautiful and Mina is such a darling! You so rock for rescuing her!

   Posted 2 years ago by jcat #

4. 

   Treether, I believe it'll get better in time. Please don't leave the two alone together while Mina is still this little. They'll need lots of supervised visits first and Mina needs to get a littel bigger so she can hold her own in case of a fight.

   Best of luck!

   Posted 2 years ago by GreatDane #

5. 

   Thanks Molly & Jcat, I forgot to mention I have a feliway diffuser (seemed to help a lot the first week, now it's hard to tell, although I see both of them sniffing it on occasion). We are doing our best to make sure Vesper knows she's alpha cat -- she gets food & love first, only she gets to sleep with us at night, etc. The main problem is that she won't let Mina on the floor, so Mina tends to spend all of her time on the couches. And with Mina on the couch, Vesper won't come snuggle as much as she used to...

   Vesper did live happily with other animals when she was younger, both dogs and cats. However, she's been on her own for quite a few years and along with worrying that she's giving Mina a complex, I'm also worried about what the stress is doing to Vesper.

   Posted 2 years ago by treether #

6. 

   I think they are both pretty strong in that sense. It's just the law of the jungle, the older cat is staking her territory. They certainly will have their moments but I think they can work it out along with your help! Love to Vesper! Hugs to Mina!

   Posted 2 years ago by mollycat71 #

7. 

   Mina is on the Cute Kittens Pool on the Purina Pet tab for Yahoo!

   Posted 2 years ago by AZDEBRA 5/27 & crew #

8. 

   For goodness sakes our baby is a SUPERSTAR!

   Posted 2 years ago by mollycat71 #

9. 

   @ azdebra

   Thanks for letting me know!

   Posted 2 years ago by treether #

10. 

    No one would ever believe such a cutie was thought of as a mouse in the laundry room!

    Posted 2 years ago by mollycat71 #

11. 

    Yay, Mina!

    Treether, sounds like you're doing everything right. I'm sure it will work out. At 17, Vesper is an old lady, she's entitled to be a bit crochety! They'll work it out.

    Posted 2 years ago by jcat #

12. 

    I had an older 8-9 year old cat (female)one time and decded to add a female kitten. It was much as you describe at the beginning, then they worked it out, and everything was great. Until the kitten got to be ~ a year old and turned into a bully, pushing the older cat away from food, etc. So while you want to watch out for Vesper's behavior now, you may also need to watch Mina's later!

    Posted 2 years ago by nawlins catmom #

13. 

    If you give Vesper lots of attention, she'll probably learn to accept Mina eventually, although 17 is pretty old to change her ways. The fact that she co-existed with siblings before is a good sign.

    Does Vesper have a favorite place to sleep? If so, you can rub down Mina with a cloth and tuck it under Vesper's place. Then put a few treats on top of it. That will help Vesper learn to associate Mina's smell with good things.

    I've resorted to carrying an older kitty around while telling her how much the new kitten needs her. I don't know if the adult cat understands but it does seem to help.

    Posted 2 years ago by CheetahBoysmommy #

14. 

    Give Vesper all the love and attention you can, especially if Mina's in the room. But give her LOTS EXTRA if you catch her just watching Mina, and not growling at her. Tell her what a good kitty she is for being tolerant.

    You've introduced a toddler to a very senior citizen; Vesper is having to adjust her daily routine quite a bit to accommodate her very young roommate. She didn't ask for Mina to show up in her well-established life. Be sure to give Vesper 2x or 3x as much petting and attention as Mina's getting. If you're petting Vesper, and she begins to growl at Mina, stop the petting. A couple seconds after she stops growling, start petting her again. She'll get the idea.

    Posted 2 years ago by anncetera2 #

15. 

    It's my experience that the oldest female in the group is the alpha cat but they do feel a need to establish that with certainty. Once Mina has "got it" then Vesper should settle down. Our 16 year old Belle was "not pleased" when we brought in Mali and her kittens. She made it quite clear what she thought of the whole situation and it took a good year to fully resolve between them all. Now Belle still has her spots where she should not be disturbed, but the younger ones seem to accept that and go on with their lives. I have at this point, two years later, seen Belle touch noses with them all and even bump against them in a friendly manner. I watched the youngest, a year old, wash Belle's ears and head and Belle purred very loudly. There is hope for Mina and Vesper!

    Posted 2 years ago by DancingCatHill #

16. 

    HAHAHAHAHA!! I'm sorry, but that first picture of Vesper is HILARIOUS! Her expression is just spot on. I actually cried a little I laughed so hard.

    That said, I definitely understand how unfunny it is when they're your babies and all you want is for them to love each other. I just went through that at the beginning of February when I got my second cat--I hope all works out with your beautiful girls!

    Posted 2 years ago by astrid #

17. 

    Both girls are so beautiful....they will get used to each other in time, and they will work out their differences and 'pecking order'!!! You take such nice pictures!!! Congrats to Mina for being a model :)

    Posted 2 years ago by katthays #

18. 

    I an green with jealousy over your camera abilities Treether!!!

    These older cats are tough old boots you know. When my Mum was very ill in 2007, we brought her old cat Bones to live with us - and now she's in a home, he's still here. He's now 20ish, and our own 3 are all around the three year old mark. We were worried about them ganging up on him, but quite the reverse happened, and a friend of our's nicknamed Bones Grandad F*** off!!! He soon let them know he was boss, and they treated him with the appropriate amount of respect. I thought this was the best we could hope for, but Button occasionally snuggles up with him, and he's stopped punching Pickle quite so much (he has a mean right hook!). So, give it a bit more time, and keep doing what you're doing, and I'm sure the situation will improve. :o)

    Posted 2 years ago by MadcatwomanintheUK #

19. 

    Thanks to everyone who has stories of successful may-december cat friendships.

    Over the last couple of days, we've been trying to make sure Vesper doesn't catch us playing with the kitten. When she comes in the room, we drop Mina and act like nothing was going on, or try to encourage Vesper to play with the toys Mina had.

    It seems to be helping a bit, in that Vesper isn't growling from the moment she sees Mina. There are times when I swear she seems to be enjoying watching Mina play. She is also taking a few swipes at the wand toys, which I haven't seen her do in years. It's like she sees Mina playing and thinks "Oh, I want to do that" but once she starts playing she decides it's boring and stops...

    Hopefully things will get even calmer. Having lots of houseguests to keep the kitten busy helps. Maybe Vesper is hoping someone will take Mina with them when they leave.

    It's definitely going to be a long time before Mina gets the chance to sleep with us. Vesper has given ground in the rest of the house, but she really doesn't like Mina to go in the bedroom...

    Posted 2 years ago by treether #

20. 

    *sighs*... welcome to the world of Cuddles (old and grumpy) and Abby (10 yrs. younger)..... finally after 4 years, they have learned to "tolerate" each other, but Cuddles was so Alpha at first, I was afraid for the kitten.... now, Abby just "stealths" past her (much quicker and agile)... and Cuddles gives a warning "hiss" if Abby is too close, but no fights or anything.... they have come to terms sharing litter boxes - even though I have two, they "cross poop", so I figured they have come the their own agreement.....Huggs to you Treether, it will get better!

    Posted 2 years ago by AV #

21. 

    Treether you can also try putting mina in a cat carrier and let vesper sniff around it. There's a boundary so you don't have to worry about somebody getting hurt. But I had an older cat((cottenball)) and we had her for about 7 1/2 years before we brought little nala in. She threw the biggest fit in the world about it! Nala was scared out of her mind but whenever cottenball would hiss we would bring nala into another room. Also you can try holding vesper and bringing mina closer to vesper. You're doing great and hopefully vespers instincts from living with other pets will kick back in.

    Posted 2 years ago by Binx.baby #

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