Leeny, I'm glad your boss is understanding and willing to work with you on this. Please, please, hang in there. You are doing the right things, and we are all standing behind you as you do them.
{{{Leeny}}}
Daily Kitten Chat Forum » Purrs
Now no doctor
(91 posts)-
-
Thank you, Feral and Kilroy.
SM, Mr. L. hasn't been charged with domestic abuse. Like a d*** fool, I refused to press charges last March because I was more concerned about him than about myself. I told the cop who took the incident report that, if they filed charges against Mr. L., I would invoke the marital priviledge (spouses can't be required to testify against each other) and they would have no case. Thus, no charges were filed, he was not arrested, and no legal action is pending.
When I get out of this, I am SO going to make sure my life is peaceful. I'm sick of uproar.
-
-
Hind sight is always 20/20! Please don't think you are any kind of fool. Had you only known the hell he would put you through you would never have let him off the hook. You must remember that you have a very kind and loving heart--don't let him take that away. He doesn't deserve your kindness because he got it freely and then abused you both physically (which heals) and mentally (will heal but takes so much longer). You are now thinking of you and that is what is most important. Make sure you talk to your landlord and see if you can get the lease changed now. He needs to leave--he made his bed and needs to now reap the rewards. Leeny will you be safe over the weekend?
-
Leeny, you are not a fool in any way or form. When my ex threatened me with bodily harm back in Sept 2007, I too didn't call the police. I found out later if I had called the police they could have issued an emergency protective order which would have strengthen my request for a permanent restraining order as well as it would have forced him to leave the apartment for at least 48-72 hours giving me a chance to think things through without worrying about me and my cats safety.
I am sorry things are in such chaotic situation and am glad your work is so understanding. I hope that you find a way to get Mr. L to leave and be placed in some sort of half way house or home and not at your cost. Sending you some more calming hugs.
Posted 2 years ago by SylMiaFelixsMomma #
-
Just hang in there girlfriend and keep chipping away bit by bit. (((Leeny)))
Posted 2 years ago by KYKAT 12 23 #
-
-
If I'd known he'd done the same thing to his mother, I wouldn't have let him off the hook, either. If I'd known that before we got married, I wouldn't have married him.
SM, I'll be all right over the weekend. If he physically assaults me, he goes to jail, I get a TPO, and that's the end of it. If he gets to be too much mentally, I can go somewhere else--here to chat with TDKers, or to one of the bookstores or coffee houses that have comfortable chairs and encourage people to pass time there. Actually, I think that he will be well-behaved this weekend because (1) this week scared him and (2) he's having five more teeth out next week and needs me to be around for that.
-
I know you feel like you are sawing a thick rope with a plastic picnic knife, but the threads are parting and the albatross will be removed from your neck.
Keep shaking the bushes. Help is out there for you.
Posted 2 years ago by ailuromaniac #
-
No he doesnt need you for the extraction. Remember he is on his own. He makes or breaks this on his own dime.
If he starts yelling about blame it is 200% his.Posted 2 years ago by ailuromaniac #
-
Leeny, I was reading over your emergency contingincy plan. It need to include an emergency contact to leave notice that you are in shelter directly to your boss/office. I assure you. Telling Mr L you are going and not to call the office of cops will not work. When you go to shelter be sure to ask DVPA to notifiy authority.
Posted 2 years ago by ailuromaniac #
-
(((LEENY))), you are sounding stronger and more sure of yourself in your posts, you will prevail I just know it! I will keep praying for you that you and your kitties will be living a peaceful life soon without all the drama and stress. You are taking the right steps to make it happen. Have a good weekend and stay in touch.
-
-
Follow Ailuromaniac's advice, Leeny. And don't trust this yutz of a husband of yours to EVER do the right thing, for you or by you or for himself, either.
He is toxic waste, and I for one can't wait for him to get flushed out to sea.
He has taken advantage of you, abused you, threatened you, and disturbed the peace of your heart for the last time.
Take the steps you need to protect yourself and reconnect with your life.
God or someone else will take care of Mr. L.
-
-
Got an e-mail and follow-up phone call from the DVPA. The e-mail didn't tell me anything I didn't already know; I'm not eligible for either a TPO or an annulment. I told the volunteer who made the follow-up call about my plan just to wait out the lease and get a new one in my name alone. That way, when I file, he has to leave; the DVPA's legal advisor did confirm that. I don't know how long he will have before he's required to be out, but I'll find out about that when the time comes. Also by that time, he'll either have a caseworker to help him, or will have refused to get a caseworker, in which event he'll have no one to blame but himself if he has no one to help him.
If my landlord does have any properties come vacant in the meantime, I'll see if he'll let me go on and move into one. That's the only way I'd leave my home voluntarily, if I could keep the same landlord. He's been very considerate of me and concerned for my welfare.
It's just a matter of time.
-
Leeny I think a night away from his drama did you a world of good--you sound so much stronger! To be honest I do not give a flying fig about him--he has used you and abused you. I am very thankful you have an emergency plan. I truly hope this comes to an end for you sooner rather than later. Prayers are always with you Leeny. Check in this weekend if you can.
-
-
-
-
Enjoy the peace but keep up your guard. Make him be responsible for his own appointments and everything else. Keep moving forward with your plans to separate your lives.
Posted 2 years ago by ailuromaniac #
-
-
((Leeny))
I have kept you in my prayers always. Please stay safe with your kitties and know we are thinking of you and love you very much.Posted 2 years ago by cricketsmama #
-
Leeny do not let his charade fool you! You have been down this road too many times, and each time it gets worse. He goes from mental abuse to physical abuse. You are the only one that can truly end this cycle. You deserve so much better! Leeny keep strong and keep working to extract him from you life. You deserve peace and happiness. You are loved.
-
My angel aunt used to say, "Don't cut your own throat to dye a friend's rug red. Let them get their own %$&* box of Ritt Dye!"
Leeny, just please get away from this situation. You've done your best. You've made enough sacrifices. Now, pull the plug. Let someone else take on this challenge.
You need to save you. Someone else will save Mr. Leeny. Enough is enough.
-
Yesterday the official letters came informing each of us that we've been bounced out of the practice. Haven't read mine yet; will bring it in and read it in the presence of TDK, just to see if there's anything in it I need to know.
Part of the extraction process is going to be this: I am going to get separate physicians, in separate practices, for myself and Mr. L. I want a female physician, and I'm going to ask my psychiatrist if he knows of any GP who is experienced in working with mentally disabled people who might take on Mr. L. This is the second time I've gotten bounced out of a GP's practice because of him, and it isn't going to happen again.
-
-
Way to go, Leeny! Continued prayers and white light for you to get off this terrible treadmill.
Posted 2 years ago by GizzysAuntie #
-
Leeny, When you get your new Doc, make sure that they understand that you do not give permission for them to share any information about you with Mr. L. Tell them that they are not to disclose to anyone other than insurance providers and other related entities that you are even being seen at this practice. HIPPA regulations mean they have to comply with that request.
I would highly recommend that you get a P.O. Box and divert all of your mail to the P.O. Box. That way Mr. L can't read your mail and know who you have switched to. If he doesn't know who to call then he can't cause trouble for you.
Posted 2 years ago by KYKAT 12 23 #
-
Just read the letter from my erstwhile GP. At least this one doesn't go into a bunch of reasons why I'm not fit to be his patient like the one from the last GP who bounced me out of his practice. It just says he can't be my doctor any more, that he encourages me to find someone else, that he will forward my records upon proper authorization, and that he will provide emergency care until August 8.
There's a notation that the letter was sent via regular and certified mail. I have a couple of "we tried to deliver this and now it's at the post office" cards for certified letters, one for each of us, from the practice. (They didn't try very hard to deliver them; I was home when they "made the last attempt" and I didn't hear anyone come to the door.) They'll be at the PO until the end of the week. I wonder if I should bother picking them up or just let them be sent back to the practice.
My psychiatrist did give me the names of three doctors who might be able to handle Mr. L.; two are in the same practice, though. I'll have to check them out on the internet. I'm also going to start looking for a new doctor for myself.
Reply »
You must log in to post.