Well...I was awake all last night. I'd already only had about 3 hrs. sleep for the whole week before things went haywire yesterday. It was too much for me I guess,because this morning I feel like I'm back in the pits of h*ll. I was so close to being thru with this ass in my life. With all his glorious selfishness intact, I still managed to keep the kits fed & all the proper paperwork up to date for car (due to my loving family here). I ended up delinquent on one month's pymt.for monthly insurance. I know what was sent me was for car purposes only,but,numerous times Mr. Useless refused to help w/them(altho I've thrown tons of food he wasted letting it go bad in the fridge-foods I'm not able to eat).
So,now I'm right back to square one...only worse. I'd gone down to renew the registration for the car,only to be surprised that it had to be smog-tested before I could get the tags. What I had left was going specifically for having the part I'd finally gotten for it put on. I'm now, right back where I started from w/serious car problems(looks like the transmission which I knew would someday hate me & act up), unable to work more than the one job I have & I'm sure Mr, Useless can't be any happier. I have never,ever done anything in my life to deserve the treatment I'm getting from Mr.Useless. And If there is a God...I clearly don't deserve the so-called lessons,trials or whatever you want to call them,from him. I've been a good,hard-working,responsible,caring & loving person. Even patient when I couldn't stand to be. I just don't deserve it. And yet,here I sit,completely overwhelmed & astonished at what keeps stepping in my way of some sorta of normal,happy life. I'm getting too old to fight these battles. I could count the # of people on less than one hand that would wish defeat on me. And frankly,I don't care about that handful of rubbish. What I care about is...if there is a God...where is he to heal my heart & give me the strength to get where I need to be & stop w/all the so-called tests? I'm falling into the pits of h*ll & he doesn't seem to care one iouta. I feel so beaten down & rejected by him.
Daily Kitten Chat Forum » Purrs
I'm AGAIN Beaten Down
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I am so sorry for the pain you are obviously feeling. I don't know your story since I haven't been around much but you are obviously going through a rough time. But have you asked for help in the right places? Catholic Social Services does heroic work and there is a charity called "Modest Needs" that exists precisely to help out with the sorts of problem you are describing. You can read about them in an article in USA Today (http://www.usatoday.com/tech/news/2005-09-11-web-charities_x.htm) and you can find the link there as well (scroll down, down, down).
If you don't mind telling what city you live in, I can dig around and see if I can find out what resources might be available (I do research for a living so it is easy for me, especially since I have a big university library to help).
You have not been forgotten or abandoned by God but he normally gives us humans the privilege of being his hands and feet in the world. So making your needs known and not being to proud to ask for or receive help is important.
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Susie try turning things over to Him instead of holding on to them. Call a shelter and get help and walk out. Women do it everyday. I just work with one in my town that walked and I do mean walked 2 states to get away from her abuser with clothes that she had on her back and NOTHING else. Here she got into the shelter, got a job, found an apartment, and then the community began to help her furnish it. She is now fully functioning on her own and so happy. She just knew she had to leave. I know your primary concern is your cats, and I sure understand that. Everyone has been trying to find a place for them. It may come down to doing what is best for you. It is a terrible decision no matter how you look at it. God has always been with you--even when you turn your back on him and think he is gone. He gave you free will. He is not rejecting you. Do you belong to a church? Our church also assists anyone in your position to get into a shelter to begin to put their life together. Continued prayers for you--strength and peace.
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Feral, I am sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed. Do you still have the email I sent you with all the resources in your area? I believe one of them was Catholic Charities and if you call them they will try to help you all of your issues if they can. If you want, I can re-email you the list of resources that I found in your area. I understand the feeling of feeling like God has abandoned you but since he gave us free will, he wants us to figure out how to get out of our situations. I know it is hard to ask others for help especially complete strangers but if they can help, they will. Catholic Charities is the place to start even if you do not go to church. They want to help all they can help. Sending you some hugs too.
Posted 2 years ago by SylMiaFelixMomma #
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SM...my cats have been more of a concern than myself & rightfully so...they've been a big part of keeping my sanity intact. I've already contacted & spoke personally w/the woman that started "Cat House on the Kings". She told me they're overwhelmed w/even more cats & kittens than their video portrays. She couldn't help,but gave me the name of a place in S.F.(that is way far away from me) called Bright Haven for possible placement of my elderly kits(at least 6). They told me they stopped taking in more because they are out of room. Each day I spend more & more time looking after the older ones that are having much difficulty in doing even the most normal of funtions. And with the temps. right now being 105 deg.& expecting to climb higher,they are really having a rough time & it's keeping me from getting things done myself. I'm brain-locked & feeling hopelessly trapped at the moment.
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Feral, if Bright Haven or any other facility will take your kitties, I volunteer to help transport them. We did it with seven of your younger kitties so we can do it again for the senior ones.
Posted 2 years ago by SylMiaFelixMomma #
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Susie you have someone here that is extending a hand to help you--TAKE IT. Lily said she will do research for you. SMM sent you a list of resources and shelters--use the list. You have decided to do it all yourself--it isn't necessary. Use these resource and get help. Make a call and ask for help. You need to take care of yourself BEFORE the cats. With Lily's resources you might find that she can help you. You can do this, but you have to want to move forward. Please let others help you.
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SM, If there is a good place in SF that will take the kitties, maybe there will be a women's shelter in SF that can help Feral as well. Get everyone out at the same time. Feral, if you can get your kitties and you to SF then as you rebuild your life. Get situated, get a job, get an apartment, you might be able to re-claim one or two of your babies.
Posted 2 years ago by KYKAT 12 23 #
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Feral,
Your Kits are in God's hands and always have been. Yes he has used yours to care for them and give them a period of peace and love.
He will watch over them and he knows you need to leave. If you cannot move the kits to other shelters, he knows this too and it may be his plan to take them to the bridge or he will lead them to other caring hands while you rebuild elsewhere.
Trust him and get yourself out of this situation.
Posted 2 years ago by ailuromaniac #
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I was told by all that there is NO room for any of them. They're overwhelmed & to their limit. I've researched the food bank here already. They've moved on to only work w/larger corps. now & handed me a list already of churches to check for help. Food for me is not #1 priority to me. I'm used to doing w/out. My #1 concern at this very moment is my car. I NEED a vehicle. No if's ands,or butts. I need to have a vehicle,if nothing else but the clothes on my back,I need to have a vehicle. Right now,I'm in a frozen state of thought as to what to do with the car's newest probs. yesterday. as for now,I have to go feed the kits their morning wants. Thanks you guys for the shoulders to cry on. Love You!
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http://www.angelfoodministries.com/
I know this was posted before, but it is a place to get help with food. Call Catholic Charity--they do much more than food. They may very well be able to find you help for the car. Why is a vehicle that necessary?
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It may be that you need a car out where you currently are, Feral but if you are able to move closer to a city where buses are available, then you won't have to have a car. Cars are money pits especially when they are old or have 100k or more miles on them. With your situation, it might be more beneficial to try to sell the car and then later on, when you get re-situated, you can save up and buy another one.
Posted 2 years ago by SylMiaFelixMomma #
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Susie,
I have felt beaten down, no money to buy food, and an idiot to work with for a long time. Add to that medical problems that I cannot afford to have dealt with and a car that now needs repair. Still, I hung on so tightly to a dying business without turning things over to God until things finally crashed and I was forced to let Him have my problems.As it has been said, turn it over to God and let Him deal with it. Trust me, I am down to trying to rebuild my business with an ex-business partner who refuses to talk to me regarding dissolving things, and now I am looking at only getting $150 a month and having my grant for school delayed by a mistake that should never have happened. Yet I know God will take care of me -- and He will take care of you too. PLEASE DO. NOT. LOSE. HOPE! You will be brought out of the situation you are in, and into something better - far better. Just let go, and let GOD!
Posted 2 years ago by owlwatcher_974 #
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