Everything is just building into insanity again. I had to stop hyperventilating before I could post.
I'm Grateful to God for helping those I've read about here & so overwhelmed w/grief over the bad things happening to others I read about here. And w/all the Gratefulness I have in my heart for the things I've been blessed w/in my life...it just seems that God continues to strip me of my will to fight the obstacles.
I don't know what to do anymore to right the things that keep going wrong. I'm losing my strength to fight. I've got so many things that need taking care of,all at once, that I can't think straight anymore. I'm truly at the end of my rope here & desperately need a hug & prayers. My piece of crap car is still sitting in the driveway w/tranny problems & am staring at one of the parts in a box it took months to get. My ins.payment for the month is due tomorrow on a car once again not driveable & I have to use the funds set aside to have the part put on to cover it (I already had to dip into it for the last 2 payments & for the car registration renewal fee).
Forgive me for the term I use...it's like beating a dead dog.
Mr. Useless here just informed me that he intends to hand over his house to the bank by walking away from it by the end of Aug. I seriously can't take any more. I don't have the strength to get mad over anything to even get anymore accomplished or even begin to move forward.
Daily Kitten Chat Forum » Purrs
OMG-I'm falling apart!
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I wish I had words to help you. My thoughts and prayers for you. For strength and courage and hope. perhaps with Mr Useless walking away from his house that now is a good time for a fresh start somewhere else. Just a thought. As long as we are breathing we can start again. Keep breathing, Feral. Keep breathing!
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Holy cow Susie! Take a big breath and slowly let it out. I am sorry you are going through all this. Is Mr. Useless behind on payments with the bank? Some banks will work with the owner and lower the payments so they the owner doesn't go into foreclosure.
Sending you some hugs. Sounds like you need it more than I do at this time.
Posted 7 months ago by SylvesterMiasMomma #
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Susie, You remain in my prayers. I know you can't see it now, but you are a very strong woman, who has made it through many challenges, and you will continue to do so. God has a plan, I'm not sure what he is preparing you for, but every hurdle that you conquer is one step closer to the reward the Lord has for you. As tiering as these hurdles are, he will not give you anything you can't handle, you may not think you can do it but you can.
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I agree with Lainey it is time for a fresh start. By the way what happend when you called the agencies that were posted? Prayers that you will be able to look at this opportunity to start afresh and live a happier life. Prayers of peace and comfort, it isn't easy moving forward.
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It takes time for a bank to actually foreclose on a loan that is in default, Susie. Is Chuck planning to move out in August or just stop making payments on the house? I think you probably have more time than you know. You must be eligible for food stamps if he leaves completely. Don't be shy about applying for them. As a taxpayer, I am happy that this help would be available to you!
If your car gets fixed, what is your next move? Please let us know how we can help you get free of this toxic relationship so you can move on to a healthier life. {{{{{hugs}}}}}
Posted 7 months ago by Kitten Whisperer #
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Susie....could it be that Chuck is just using scare tactics to hurt you? You know as well as I do, that he has nowhere to go if he walks away from his place. As far as your car is concerned.....if the tranny can't be dealt with at this time you can put the insurance on hold and use the cash for better things. When the waterpump went out in our car and it was sitting for months waiting for repairs...we cancelled the insurance til such time as we could get it back up and running. Like KW said...get down and apply for the food stamps. It's foolish not to tap into the resources that are provided for people just like you who are in difficult situations. Love You little sis!
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"God continues to strip me of my will to fight the obstacles."
No, He doesn't.
The Enemy, however, does. And HE is the cosmic jerk you need to hate, and fight, and thwart!
Start moving. Cancel the insurance, apply for the foodstamps, and get your chin back in the air.
And keep praying.
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Here is some information about foreclosures--it seems that it takes time to foreclose. How far behind you are on mortgage payments can make a difference. It may be his house on paper, but you live there. Do you know where you stand on payments, or is there a way for you to find out? Please call those agencies and let them help you.
I agree with Emma.
Sorry forgot to put the site!
http://www.larcc.org/pamphlets/housing/about_foreclosure.htm
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When Useless retired early a few yrs. back,he decided to become a devoted pot-smoker & alcohol drinker. This was long before his prostate cancer was discovered. And at that time he had a nice nest egg starting for himself. He's managed to dwindle that down to low proportions...not because of me...but because of his own careless money-managing. He refuses to allow me to help him get on a budget that will help him out of some of his mess. He spent thousands that he once had on pot,alcohol,fishing & camping gear(which he uses rarely) & wasted it on foods he bought (shopping after pot-smoking=lots of junk food) that most of the time half or more went to the garbage because he couldn't eat it all(he shops for one at Costco). Very rarely can I eat anything he buys so as not to waste because of my dental problems.
Because I get no help from him emotionally or otherwise,it's been time-consuming & exhausting dealing with car & animal probs. I've never had to deal w/before(I'm so sorry I sold my Chevy-I new how to work on that car myself). The only thing I've had any progress w/is getting my yrs. of belongings donated,or thrown away. All the while still taking care of 8 cats indoors & 5 outdoors(all whom I love dearly,but they are not my top priority).
The arthritis in my hands & elbows has just blossomed in the last 1-2 yrs. & I'm having such a hard time doing certain things I use to be able to do,but,can't now. I'd gotten down to thinking my car was my top priority & it still is. But the piece of crap is falling apart worse than my body is.
With so many big things needing attention all at the same time...I seem to be getting no sign from my maker as to how to widdle them down. I do know,I'm exhausted with my life the way it is & don't know how to get out of it.
Thanks for the Hugs & Prayers. Love You Guys. -
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(((Susie))) I am sooo sorry. I wish I had magic. You are always in my prayers.
Posted 7 months ago by Tigerlilly #
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Susie, you can not do all the things you need to in one day!!! Try writing on pieces of paper the things that need done, fold the paper in half and put them all in a bowl. Pick one out and start working on it, when finished pick another one, and do not be concerned about anything that is already listed in the bowl they will all get their turn to be done. You are overwhelmed by all that needs to be done, but once you realize that they don't all need to be done today and just begin somewhere and handle one thing at a time, you will get there.. Clear your mind and consider other options...if the car is too much right now there are things like Dial a Ride (although Seniors have first dibs on availablity) you can arrange to ride to where you need to go to and as everyone above said, it's time you get some help from the services that are just for people in your situation...I would be trilled to have someone who is truely in need of a handup instead of those just looking for handouts get some help through the programs that are out there. How long have you done without??? Yes Susie it's time!!!
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Emma is right about the enemy being the one who fights us. That's one of his biggest lies...trying to trick us into thinking God is beating us down. Unfortunately I know from experience. This verse really helped me from during that time: "Trust in the Lord and lean not unto your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him, and He will make your paths straight" Prov 3:5-6 {{{Hugs}}}
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contued prayers for you...
Posted 7 months ago by Cheri 12/22 #
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(((FERAL))) Lots of love and prayers your way!
Posted 7 months ago by mollycat71 #
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Susie, praying for you that things will come out right.
Posted 7 months ago by GizzysAuntie #
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{{Susie}}
I think 2B has given some very good advise. You already took a big step and acclomplished quite a bit when you organized your belongings (something I really need to do!) Everything seems overwhelming, but is there maybe a few small things that you can accomplish right now? That might get your motivation going again and lift your spirits. I also agree that it is time for you to reach out for outside help, as hard as it can be. People like you are what charities were meant for - to help out someone who needs a temporary lift. I think about you every day, even if I am not posting here. You are in my continued prayers, my friend. -
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Susie,
I understand the feeling of thinking "God is against me." There have been many times in my life where, the more I try the more I lose. But this period where I got away from Teresa and started to rebuild my business then everything seemed to go wrong, was a huge learning process for me.I think understand now what it means to let go and trust God.
I do understand now what it means to praise God when things seem to fall apart.Last Sunday in church, I felt like I was almost at rock bottom. But at the same time I found the words, "Praise God no matter what" going through my head. For once, I listened. I praised God, I prayed for the strength to let go and trust in Him, and I praised Him again. The peace I felt was indescribable. I knew it would be okay.
And it is okay. The Lord has reached out to me through different people who have supported me in prayer, have encouraged me, have helped me financially at a time when it was desperately needed, and have given selflessly to get my car going again. He will continue to provide for me - no matter what. I know this. Praise the Lord!
He will provide for you too. When it seems like there will never be any solutions - only problems, when it seems like all is lost, when it seems like you are under constant attack and there is no way out - He will provide for you. But, like Emma said, you have to that He is not who is bringing these problems upon you. God wants to help you - not hurt you.
I remember once feeling so bad, that the only way I could describe it was being in the bottom of a pit while a storm raged all around me and the rain poured in on me. It was a horrible feeling of no escape from the pain and uncertainty I was going through. God brought me through it - literally saving me from myself. I am still alive because of Him.
I do understand what it feels like when it seems that things will only get worse, but thanks to God, I also know what it is like to have peace.
Don't give up, Susie. Don't let yourself fall into the trap of thinking that God is against you. He isn't. He will get you out of this mess. Just trust in Him. Give all of your problems to Him and trust that He will take care of everything.
I know He will. How do I know this? I'm still alive.
Posted 7 months ago by owlwatcher_974 #
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Hi I am new here, but your message touched me. I have been in situations sort of like this. My first husband left me and 2 babies with no place to live ( I was 21), a nonworking car and no money. I did have to reach out for help. I went to my local social services office to see what they could help me do. It was hard, but I sucked up my pride and did it. In NC we have what they call a 200% program. This is to help working people in need (so they can stay working). They helped me get my car fixed. I think the total bill was $300+ and I just paid $40. They also helped buy clothes to work in.
It was hard, but you can do it. Take one step at a time, make a list of things that you need to do and work on one thing at a time. Sometimes when you look at everything at once, it it overwhelming. I am now 30, remarried, have 3 beautiful children (2 cats & 5 kittens), in nursing school and things are good. All will pass...good luck to you.Stephanie
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Thanks so much to all of you! You have all,no doubt,been in close proximity to similar cirtumstances. The feelings of helplessness can be compared to the ground shaking from an earthquake. And I've felt more of those than I care to living in Cali. I'm still feeling very down,but,w/my neighbor's help on Monday, maybe not everything will be lost.
Love & Hugs to All of You...& Kitty Cuddles too!
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Sweetie please sit down and take slow deep breaths,I know it's so hard right now. I.too am familiar with feeling that I'm in the bottom of a pit and somebody is throwing in water. I just had to let go and let God. I get angry at Him sometimes,well a lot lately,seems I'm being tested again.
When it gets very stressful I take it day by day or sometimes hour by hour. I find that in myself that if I think way ahead when things are going bad that I tend to "catatrophize",think of all the bad things that might happen and then I would just get more anxious.
I wish I lived closer and could help you and give you a big hug. [[[[[Susie]]]]
FYI I don't have internet this month,most likely will get it back next month so I haven't been able to check here much or get my email. God I miss it!
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