Daily Kitten Chat Forum » Cats & Kittens

1. 

   Hi Everyone,

   My name is Jess and I'm new to the forum... hello. I am a volunteer w/ LA Animal Services in Los Angeles and LOVE animals... esp. my 2 kittens Jaggar and Dodger. Jaggar is 4. I rescued her when she was just a week old. She was dumped on the side of the road was blindly wobbling through traffic. I stopped my car, grabbed her and she was mine. I bottle-fed her and we are attached like mom and child. Seriously, she has helped me in ways I can't describe. Well... a few weeks ago I decided to adopt a friend for her. She is soooo attached to me and I worry that she's desperately lonely when I'm gone during the days. I found Dodger at the South LA shelter and immediately fell in love. He had been there a month, and I knew he had only a few days left. He is the sweetest, calmest, most loving 4 month old baby ever! Anyway... here's where I need help.

   The first week, I kept them in seperate rooms... I traded blankets back and forth. I let them paw under the door. I introduced them how I was instructed to. Then, I let Jag see him. She completely freaked out! he's tiny in comparison to her, but she is sooo fearful. The past 2 weeks have broken my heart. Jaggar won't even come in the house. She comes through the window late at night when he's asleep to eat. She won't let me pet her and she runs at the sight of Dodger in a window. My girl has even attacked me. It's such a change from the baby that I raised... who slept on my chest every night. I've tried to keep her routine the same. To let her stay dominant, but she won't have anything to do with me.

   Today, I am putting a screen up on Dodger's room and I am going to try to get Jag into the house. I really need help. Does anyone have advice? As a animal rescuer, I cannot bear to get rid of Dodger or re-home him. I put so much thought into getting him, and I love him so much already.

   Thank you so much for your words and thoughts as I am nearing desperate.

   ~ jess

   Posted 2 years ago by davis.jess #

2. 

   Welcome Jess!! Wow you do have a pickle of a problem..you're right about getting Jag inside and for now go back to separate rooms. The only suggestion I can think of right now is some Feliway...

   http://www.drsfostersmith.com/product/prod_display.cfm?pcatid=8906

   Posted 2 years ago by 2bpurring #

3. 

   Jess - welcome to TDK... it is a great spot. I think jag just needs more time... your idea of backing off on Dodger is a good one... be sure to lavish attention on Jag whenever you can, put some of her favorite food near Dodger's door so she connects good stuff with him. Will she stay inside happily? You might want to keep her in while doing the process, so she is not additionally stressed by anything outside... Patience is the key. Some have found Feliway difusers to be helful. You could take a cloth that Dodger has slept on and leave it in Jag's space and let her get used to the smell that way, too. I have not done this for a while, but I think it really just comes down to patience and persistence. Good luck! I am sure more people will post soon.

   Posted 2 years ago by nawlins catmom #

4. 

   Jess,
   First, cap your panic. Jaggar is in part responding to your tension.

   Second, get some Feliway. Other members of the site swear by it. It will calm Jag and Doger.

   Third, implement your plan to confine Dodger and get Jag inside.

   Forth, once Jag in inside explain that the operative word in House Cat is House. Be certain to keep her as an indoor cat.

   Fifth, if either of them has not been fixed, you need to get that done.

   Sixth, start over with the intros and go slower. When doing a "face to face" Get help to take charge of Dodger so you can hold and comfort Jag. Be sure to remain calm and confident.

   Posted 2 years ago by ailuromaniac #

5. 

   Welcome Jess! You will get loads of good advice here!

   Posted 2 years ago by katthays #

6. 

   Hi Jess and welcome to TDK. Poor Jag..this is such a familiar story and yet it always seems to work out. It takes time and patience as mentioned already..You sound like an awesome, caring person and I'm sure if you just give it a little more time Jag may ease up on you. I suppose there's the possibility that she is so deeply attached to you that she may not accept Dodger easily. I would definitely try the Feliway diffuser as I've heard it can work miracles in situations like this. Best of luck and please keep us posted. Would love to see pics of the kits!!! =)

   Posted 2 years ago by Karenopa #

7. 

   I don't know what part of LA you live in, but with the increased reports of hungry coyotes and other predators, keeping Jaggar in the house is probably a good idea. She'll get use to Dodger's scent faster if she is exposed to it all day long. The next time she comes in, try to block her access to the outdoors.

   Feliway is an excellent product for calming down unhappy kitties.

   You followed all the right steps to get the two of them use to each other, but for some cats it takes longer than a week or two to become use to each other. I would suggest starting the whole process over again, with the two of them in separate rooms with a door instead of a screen. Make sure that Jaggar has the bigger territory - maybe let her have run of the house most of the time with Jaggar in the smaller area.

   Depending on your floor plan, at night Jaggar should have access to your bed, her food, her litter box and at least one other room. There should be rooms that Dodger has been in during the day.

   You may have to keep that up for a couple of weeks before you try to let them see each other again. When you are ready to try letting them see each other again, put Dodger in a cat carrier or crate and let Jaggar into the room Dodger is in. Talk to Jaggar the whole time, and don't give Dodger attention. Keep a lot of Jaggar's favorite treats at hand and give them to her, along with praise, when she sees Dodger and doesn't try to attack him. Even if she sniffs the carrier and hisses then backs away without trying to hit him, that's a step forward.

   It might be six or more weeks before you are comfortable having the two of them together. It seems like a long time but it's really just a drop in the bucket when you consider how many years indoor cats can live. If you have to spend six weeks in order to have 700 plus more weeks with two furry friends, it's well worth the effort.

   Posted 2 years ago by CheetahBoysmommy #

8. 

   Welcome Jess!
   Try doing the intro more slowly and as the others suggested, Feliway might work. I have a 3 month old kitten that I am very attached to also. When I first brought her home (about a month ago) my older more independent cat Rocky wasn't very happy and Bianca let out a tiny hiss, but sense then they became great friends and love eachother. Just do it in a step by step proccess.

   Posted 2 years ago by Catfancier #

9. 

   Thank you so much! I've never heard of Feliway... but I will get it as soon as possible.

   When I am able to get Jaggar inside, even when she's shut in a room away from Dodger, she backs herself up in a corner... she attacks me if I try to pet her or move her. I always give in and let her back outdoors because I can't bear to see her that way.

   Dodger's neuter is scheduled... I had to wait until was done w/antibiotics. He was getting over an upper respiratory infection when I adopted him, but is done and healthy now. Jag is already fixed so no worries... there will be NO additional babies... besides, Jag would probably eat him if he came near :(

   Posted 2 years ago by davis.jess #

10. 

    Hi Jess, welcome to TDK! I can't add to the excellent advice above, but I can heavily endorse Feliway, especially the plug in diffusers, and offer some hope - when we first introduced our third cat Eric into the mix, Pickle absolutely hated him - and I mean HATED. Hissing, spitting, growling - we had weeks of it. Fast forward to present day, and they are inseparable best buddies. It doesn't happen overnight, and in your case it sounds like it might take a while, but you WILL get there. One thing I would add (sorry, almost beginning to ramble!) is that once you've achieved both of them under the same main roof for a couple of days, try feeding them treats together. Together may start as opposite sides of a big room, but gradually you'll be able to get them closer and closer. Never underestimate the power of tuna!!!

    Good luck, and please keep us posted. This is an excellent site for advice, ideas, support and downright silliness :o)

    Posted 2 years ago by MadcatwomanintheUK #

11. 

    Welcome Jess! Good luck with the "family melding". and your avatar pic is ADORABLE! Is that Jagger?

    Posted 2 years ago by linda #

12. 

    If you can get Jaggar into a room, even if she backs into the corner, and leave her alone with her food and litter box, she will probably calm down enough for you to start the re-introduction process.

    Right now, she's mad and worried and probably a little scared that you might be replacing her. She needs time to get use to having a little brother and to know that you aren't taking your love away from her.

    Posted 2 years ago by CheetahBoysmommy #

13. 

    Glad to hear that you are getting Dodger fixed soon, and that Jag is already. That might also be part of problem and might ease some tension after Dodger is able to be fixed. In the meantime CBM is right about keeping her inside, there are lots of hungry coyotes this year all over Southern California, so PLEASE, PLEASE consider keeping Jag indoors even if she gets angry with you...It's far better to have your kitty mad at you than to no longer have your kitty!!!

    Posted 2 years ago by 2bpurring #

14. 

    Aha! A clue. Jess has met other whole males out of doors. Feral males are very territorial and will often attack even spayed and neutered kitty's.

    Once he has had his surgery the reintroduction should go much better.

    Posted 2 years ago by ailuromaniac #

15. 

    It just takes time--good advice above, go with it. AND REMAIN CALM! She is picking up on your tension.

    Posted 2 years ago by Sheba's Mom in Phoenix, AZ 10/8 #

16. 

    Hi Jess, welcome to TDK! I agree with everyone who has advised that you keep Jag inside ~ can't strees that enough!!! Even if he stays in the corner, don't give in!!! He thinks he has YOU trained and if he stays there, you will let him out. Don't do it!! Eventually, he will come around, and you will have two happy, healthy INDOOR kitties. Hang tough, get some Feliway, and everything will work out just fine. {{{Hugs}}}

    Posted 2 years ago by kittymom #

17. 

    I have gone through this so many times. Some cats just won't like some cats. My cat sneakers from my moms house has lived with me 3 years and my other two girls still dislike him. One of them still even hisses at him. But they just keep there space and learn to tolerate eachother. I just brought two new kittens into the house and now everyone is pissed at me and hiss at me, they are jus plain moody. One even started to pee on stuff like doors, kitchen counters, MY LEATHER SOFA! Things have calmed down a little. Nobody is hissing anymore but I'm sure they are mad I don't let them in the room now. Try to feliway, I'd get it but it's like 25 bucks and you plug it in the wall. Also as a child I brought a new cat home and the other one was pissed but they eventually got along and started sleeping with eachother.I think outdoor cats have a better chance of tolerating a new addition because they always see other cats. Indoor cats are territorial way more and haven't delt with lots of other animals.

    Posted 2 years ago by KITTEN CUDDLER #

18. 

    Welcome...yup, keep calm & have patience when pet melding! I introduced Crockey(stray) to my 13 year old Dottie(indoor cat) in November and it has taken this long for her to put up with him(mellow Creamsicle boy)!

    Posted 2 years ago by jeankit #

19. 

    Thanks everyone. I really appreciate all your advice...

    For the first 6 months Jag was an indoor cat only... when my lease ran out i moved into a really old house (with no screens and no AC). I had roomates too, so every once in a while she'd slip out a window etc. So, I moved again, she was strictly indoors and she destroyed everything and seemed so unhappy. So, this time I moved to a place w/high walls and a private yard. I'm near the beach so their aren't any coyotes... and I've never seen her leave the yard, just guard it... anyway... that's my struggle/explanation of the indoor/outdoor thing.

    Oh! and thank you Linda! The kitty on my Avatar is Dodger. Isn't he adorable? and he's a polydactyl too - his full name is Dodger Hemingway Davis :)

    Posted 2 years ago by davis.jess #

20. 

    so that's your new little boy...he's IS adorable! You should set up Catster pages for both of them! I don't know how, but you could start a thread asking for help. Lots of people have them here. If you hover your mouse over their avatar and a hand pops up, you can click and see their babies! and Kitten Whisperer has 3 polydactyls! She usually comes on TDK in the evening...check out the "Night Shift" thread.

    Posted 2 years ago by linda #

21. 

    UPDATE:
    I got Jag inside last night. She mostly stayed under my bed, but did jump up and sleep w/me for part of the night. Dodger stayed in his room and cried the entire night. I got the Feliway... I think it probably helped w/Jaggar. She let me pet her a little and didn't swipe me. She seemed most comfortable when she couldn't hear Dodger crying. The second she'd hear his cry her hair would stand up and she'd moo. Yes, moo/gargle/scream like woman giving birth... i know you know the sound :)anyway, night 1 was tolerable. I just feel so guilty. The baby wants attention and Jag is scared... but we all stayed under the same roof for the first time so I guess that's something... thank you everyone.

    Posted 2 years ago by davis.jess #

22. 

    It will take time, but your showing signs of progress and that is great!!! Please keep us updated...

    Posted 2 years ago by 2bpurring #

23. 

    Baby steps...you'll get there, promise! :o)

    Posted 2 years ago by MadcatwomanintheUK #

24. 

    I just saw this thread. Welcome to TDK. It sounds like you are on the way to a wonderfully blended family. Your little boy is a cutie! Given some time Jaggar will learn to accept him as a member of the family! Please do not feel guitly! You love them both and are doing all you can!

    Posted 2 years ago by SoxsMom #

25. 

    Just wanted to let you know that last night the two of them napped about 3 feet apart from each other!!!!...

    Yesterday morning we removed the screen from the baby's doorway. He would slowly walk behind Jag and as soon as she would turn to look at him he'd roll over and give her the sweetest "i just want to play" look. When he gets too close she hisses, but he backs away and just rolls over. I nearly cried watching the 2 of them... it's not great yet, but for the first time I felt like it's going to work out! Jag watches him play and she actually looks like she wants to play with him! They disappeared for a few minutes and I found them in the bedroom sleeping. HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF AND LOVE!

    Thanks again for all the help!

    Posted 2 years ago by davis.jess #

26. 

    When he rolls over he is showing her that he is ok with her being the alpha cat. Knowing that she will not be challenged for dominance could be helping her toward accepting him.

    Posted 2 years ago by KYKAT 12 23 #

27. 

    well i'm just wondering how things are now?? i'm in the same boat right now..... are your cats getting along better now??

    Posted 1 year ago by Bonita #

28. 

    The same thing happened with my cat and kitten at first, however both of the kitties are strictly indoor so the older cat didn't have much of a place to go. We just gave her lots of attention and kept the kitten confined for at least part of the day in our room. Anyway, it worked out fine eventually and now a few months later, the older cat likes her.

    Posted 1 year ago by ladysky61 #

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