Hi Family! I'm quite naive about the retirement system since I basically am not yet of age to collect. My question is...does a person pay taxes on their monthly retirement check? And if so,is it the same as paying taxes from a work payroll check? I ask because said jerk that lives here is a bit out of joint over the fact I'm finally getting some kind of help from the system outside of his little world. He's claiming he's still paying to help me because it's coming out of his retirement check. Is he correct,or is his back end sucking wind again? Any kind of input from you all would be so appreciated.
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yes, one does pay taxes on any income, including retirement income (I think a Roth IRA might be the exception). The idea, though, is that one gets substantially less income in retirement (supposedely don't need as much to live on) so therefore one is in a lower tax bracket and pays LESS income tax.
Hope that helps, Feral.
Off to bed goes Lainey.
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Hi Feral, even though tax comes out of his retirement check, it sounds like a lame argument that your "other half" is supporting you. Sounds like it's hard for him to acknowledge that you are not entirely dependent on him for your freedom and this is his attempt to make you feel bad or something (who knows what some of these guys think).... Any work you have ever done at a job is also taxes paid into the system that helps you during times of need so you are supporting YOURSELF with that prior investment.
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Thanks Lainey & Annie. And yes,that's exactly what he's trying to do. I told him also that he isn't the only one that's paid into the system. I'd been working well over 20 yrs. before I met him. I now wish I never had. His inability to put his drug & alcohol abuse to the back plate & take care of his health & his home & his relationship is what has really brought us to a close.
I only wish I had my family closer to me to help w/at least for a place to call home & for comfort of having someone to hug & care about me unconditionally. A positive reinforement on a daily basis is what I need. He's only negative.Thanks again for your input.
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{{{Feral}}}, if I were there in person I'd give you a big hug, but here's one from cyberspace my friend. It's hard to see people you care about throw away something of value (home, health, relationships) for selfish and shortsighted reasons and not be able to change things. If you hadn't cared for him before it wouldn't hurt so much now, but at some point you have to get angry enough with the situation to break free of that destructive environment which is what you are doing now. You are strong and kind, please believe in yourself...
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Give him a "Yeah! And I finally decided it was time I collected some of that 'so called' support you've been providing."
You paid the system through your work and your assistance of him. You have earned every dime of any benefit you collect.
He has not supported you in any real financial, emotional, or intellectual way in some time. The taxes that may have come from his retirement seem to garnered a poor rate of return, but every $ he views your collecting as having come out of his hide is just a down payment on his debt to you.
Let him live under that misconception. I say encourage him to believe that misconception. But then I am considered to be a hard case.
Posted 7 months ago by ailuromaniac #
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I wish I could HUG all you guys in person. You can't imagine how important you've all been to my sanity. His negativity would've plummeted me down to nothing if it hadn't been for all you & your emotional support. I know I probably seem like a hugely needy person,but, believe me when I tell you I was once a person that would not let anything get in my way of success,except an animal of course :) . Something happened to that part of me.
Ailuromaniac...every word you type is right...I know that in my heart. The jerk is very strong tho when it comes to negativity & blaming others for his shortfalls. Did I mention that altho he had other work offers,when the dealership he worked at closed,he chose himself to retire 4 yrs. earlier than the mandatory age. What he may consider his slim pickens of retirement is due to his own lack of common sense (of course alot of that lack was from the pot & booze)
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Susie,
You need to reclaim yourself and your self-image.
OK, I forgave my X his shortcoming long ago. Even before the divorce. He was so generous. He was going to help me get on my feet for all the trouble I had gone through to support his ventures through the years. He was going to give me $10000 a year for 2 years Something like $750 a month that would not be taxable to me because it was a gift.
Now X was a compulsive liar. And I called him on this. I told him he would not follow through. After 6 months he started cutting back and after 9 stopped paying. This was the only time in over 20 years he ever met my expectations. Sad that it was because I expected him to fail to meet his promise.
The point here is once I set the correct expectation, I was the one empowered. I was not depending on support from him. I was not expecting or waiting for promises to be kept.
That is why I say play the cards as they lay. Let him rant about his taxes paying for your benefits. Agree with him and let him know it is your only way to collect on his broken promises.
When he starts on the negative rants, stop listening to what he is saying to you and analyse how you can turn it inside out and back on him. Once he knows he cannot push your buttons he will subside.
Meanwhile as soon as you can get some physical distance....RUN Don't let the door hit you in the behind as you go. However don't go out of your way to stop it from banging him on the snout.
Posted 7 months ago by ailuromaniac #
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Can't say what I think about him--fairly unfluffy. He hasn't bothered to support you financially in any way shape or form! Now he is upset because he has to support you on tax dollars? Well if he had supported you in the first place it wouldn't come to this now would it. He is a fool. You are showing him you are a strong woman and will not be dependant. He is not only a fool but scared sick! He thought he had you captive. You have been his whipping post and now he is terrified of losing control. Susie you are a role model. You are not putting up with it, and you are making a life for yourself! Keep moving forward!
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