Excerpt from my legal Documentation log:
"August 18, 2009
"He cancelled appointment with therapist scheduled for the next evening; he had scheduled it then deliberately to follow the intake appointment with his new GP at 3:00. Said that he did not feel comfortable being out of the house that long because of IBS-D. Later that night, though, accepted an invitation to go on a road trip to Alabama in September with some distant relatives. Had an orientation appointment with [mental health agency] on 8/11; he had cancelled that and rescheduled it for 8/26. Stated to me that he was hoping that the new GP would agree to handle psych meds so he would not have to go to [mental health agency]. (Two GPs have already tried, unsuccessfully, to handle those meds; he was dismissed from both practices.)
"I was feeling particularly depressed and lonely [last] night, and I told him that, because of this, I needed him to sleep in the bed with me that night. He listed the things he 'had to do,' such as putting dishes in the sink into the dishwasher, before he could come in and urged me to 'try to go to sleep.' Also told me that he would come in after a program he was watching on TV was over.
Came in after finishing chores and found all three cats on the bed with me. Stated that he did not want to disturb the cats and that the TV show he was watching was going to last longer than he thought it would. He did not come in again. Heard him laughing loudly and making comments to himself about the TV show; I closed the bedroom door and turned on the white noise machine to block out the sound."
When I was spending the night away from home with DVPA help, someone I know offered to advance the lawyer of my choice his retainer if I would really go through with a divorce. Was not ready to do it then. Will have to check to see if this offer will still be good in October.
"But songs of love should not be sung
where staying is not planned,
and foolish I would climb once more
a tree too weak to stand."
—Gordon Lightfoot
