I didn't receive the letter from the real estate company that manages my duplex asking if I'm going to renew or not, so I just called them. They knew who I was, and asked if I wanted them to e-mail the lease. They also asked if the lease is just in my name. I said yes to both. I'm waiting for them to send it now.
Daily Kitten Chat Forum » Purrs
They're sending the lease
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Commence operation freedom!
Posted 2 years ago by KYKAT 12 23 #
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Before I left for work this morning, I checked the mailbox to see if the letter had come. It hadn't, but some materials to complete for Mr. L. to apply for a state DHS caseworker did arrive. Good timing.
I may not get the lease until Tuesday; they have to draw it up. It's in process, though.
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Lease is on the way. Sent it to me in both our names; I called and asked for it in mine. After they talked back and forth among themselves about legalities, agreed to re-transmit first page and signature page in my name only. Mr. L. will still be listed as a person living there. Told the person at the realtor's quite plainly what had happened, what is not happening, and what will happen as a result.
Sunday evening Mr. L. mentioned planning for Christmas gifts and I thought how we might not still be married at Christmas. I guess I looked sad, because he insisted, repeatedly and after I said I didn't want to go into it, that I tell him what was wrong. He got angry and hostile, as usual when this comes up; threatened to make things as difficult for me, legally and financially, as possible; invoked his sister; and stated that all divorcing couples are as vindictively hostile to each other as possible--this, I'm sure, he's picked up from his television melodramas.
Right now I feel sick.
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I am not totally up to date with your situation but what I have read makes me really feel for you!
I am sorry that this Mr L is not man enough to be a husband that you deserve and the man that he took a vow to be!
What he is doing is not OK, his anger, hostility and threats are abuse. Finding a way to documenting this abuse may also be a way for the courts to see things from your perspective, and not just a he said she said.
I would also advise that you help Mr L secure his DHS case, when he has funds of his own coming in, he will not be able to tell the courts that you are completely supporting him, for that matter I would limit any money that you are giving him. With that you again would be showing that he has his own means of supporting himself and would leave the spousal support option off the table.
You need to stay strong and continue what you have been doing.
Have faith, God would never leave you alone in your time of need!Posted 2 years ago by spanky_mouse #
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Oh Leeny I'm so sorry Mr. Leeny is being a big jerk. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. (((Leeny)))
Posted 2 years ago by HuddysMama #
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Just talked to my boss, who has been through this himself, to find out what to expect in this process--what do I have to do, how long does it take, what happens in court. A lot of it is imprecise, varies according to the situation. Will give me the check for the lawyer on the day I am ready to file; I'll begin paying him back as soon as I no longer have financial responsibility for Mr. L.
Talked to the Temp last week about how I felt I was having to amputate a gangrenous limb by myself with no anesthesia. He gave me a different image: that of a vine entwined around my limb, constricting it until the blood can no longer flow. It has to be removed to keep the limb, and me, from dying.
Just got the revised pages of the lease from the realtor.
Now I feel like I'm dying.
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I feel the worst when I'm here, alone in my office, imagining that Mr. L. will feel as devastated by this as I am. When I'm at home, seeing him on that sofa in the middle of the living room, like a sinkhole sucking out of the home all the resources and joy I have, I can't wait to get him out of there. As soon as he gets his next meal ticket, he'll be fine.
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Amen, Kilroy.
Posted 2 years ago by HuddysMama #
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Hang in there, Leeny. Sure, things look rough now, but you have the strength to get through it. And when that runs out (God willing, it doesn't), your TDK family will boost you back up on wings of white light and support.
Posted 2 years ago by GizzysAuntie #
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Leeny,
There is one thing that is at least 200% certain in this universe.
Mr. Leeny is not sitting alone feeling devastated by so much as one iota in your abscense. He is at best ignoring the situation. Most likely he is plotting ways to get under your skin, to make you feel guilty, inadequate and hopeless and to intimidate you into backing down. He is cetainly working on that when you are there to confront.
You see in his world it is ALL about him. Noone else has any importance. He is a pure solisitic jerk using his diagnosed handicaps as an excuse to prey on other's support and sympathies.
When you start to feel sorry for him. Stop and replace the images with the bankrupt image of the couch potato spider spinning his web to entrap you that you see at home. Catch a snap shot or two if you need to and post them on your screen for reminders.
Hang in there and march forward.
Posted 2 years ago by ailuromaniac #
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Remind yourself when your feeling down that he doesn't care how your feeling.
Your a good person and your words her show that! Don't let him continue to take advantage of your good nature, guilt and scare tactics are abuse and your better than that!
I have dealt with an abusive bf in the past, I was with him for 5 years. I always wanted to see the good in him regardless of how he treated me. I didn't realize that how he was treating me changed how I viewed myself. When your told things daily, you start to believe them and only when you step out of the situation will you see things in a different light!
He has convinced you of all the negative things that will happen if you divorce, but in reality when you end it, things will get better !!
Posted 2 years ago by spanky_mouse #
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Have to agree with Ailuromaniac. He isn't sitting there pining, he is sitting there planning how to hurt you most! He keeps hurting you over and over--both physical and mental abuse. You really will be able to bloom when he is out of your life. He is a vine strangling you. Please turn to friends--like TDK for the support you need and get that weed out! Bloom and enjoy life.
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What's that coming up through the ground over there? It's opening! It's gorgeous! It's a rare Leeny Flower! (Latin name - Leenyus Magnificus). Keep heading in the right direction Leeny!
Posted 2 years ago by KapitiKats in NZ #
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