MC - I haven't worn a dress other than for hula performances and the rare office holiday event in YEARS ! And if that is his definition of 'feminine' perhaps you can help him re-define it. Dresses don't make women feminine. As GD said - men say and do stupid things, they think totally differently than we do. And they speak without thinking... trust me. Been there many times with many different men...
Daily Kitten Chat Forum » General Chat
CATURDAY EVE Breakfast Cafe, October 2
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Hear hear! Sometimes you've got to talk to them, though, and it turns out they didn't mean something the way it sounded - 2P is right, they think differently than we do. Not all of them are worth it, but some are.
I hope FF finds some time for you this weekend. (((MC))) -
I learned about the 'assertive confrontation' and it works really well. I'm sure you are familiar with it. When you __________, I feel_________. You are stating what you saw/heard and how you felt about it. I've done this with current man-friend. It works. HUGS to you MC.... GD is right - some men are worth the effor. I think FF may be one of them. He seems to have many positives. Hey, at least he doesn't scare or otherwise terrorize your cats !
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The "I feel this when you say that" was how I was encouraged to communicate with others by a psychologist I use to go to until she moved to Oregon. As long as you let them know how you feel without making them defensive but instead explain in a calm way how it was upsetting to hear the comment. Some men say without thinking and then don't understand why we are so upset and so it has to be explained in a non-threatening and calm way.
I don't usually wear dresses myself. Last time I wore one was maybe for a Christmas party a couple of years ago and that was a skirt and sequined top ensemble. I feel more comfortable in pants then in a skirt. I did the whole professional skirt suit for when I worked in the financial industry. Got rid of them about ten years ago when I left the industry.
Really hope the lab can find that it is IBD and that it is very treatable. Why do they tell the person this kind of news and then make them wait till Monday? The not knowing is so hard on the person who is waiting for the news. Sending healing white light and prayers for Wilma and hugs to you MC.
Posted 2 years ago by SylMiaFelixsMomma #
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Exactly SMM - I learned it from a psychologist and again in a co-dependency work shop. Can't hit them with 'you made me feel' -- that doesn't work. Your feelings are your and are just that - feelings. Not right or wrong. I would bet that FF had no idea how his words affected MC.
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I don't care for the look of my legs without hose... and pantyhose are so uncomfortable - so I don't wear them. I can hear my Mom in my head too. From that era of it being inappropriate to wear dresses/skirts without 'hose' aaauuuggghh !
You look great in dresses GD ! I've seen your pictures on FB ! -
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You know I am tortured by dresses. When I weighed nearly 300 lbs (oh yes I DID!) there was no way I was gonna wear a dress. Then I lost nearly half of that and dresses were great. Then came two abdominal surgeries and 35lbs. Now I hate my body again and won't wear a dress. I don't dress like a slob just jeans and a blouse/top type girl. I don't see what is wrong with that! After all he has worn the same shirt THREE times that we have gone out! LOL
Posted 2 years ago by mollycat71 #
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BAD FF! And you shouldn't have t wear a dress if you don't want to. One can look plenty feminine wearing something other than a dress. I hope he comes to his senses!
I just got a text from GG. He says he's had fun but he can't wait to see me! I can't wait to see him, either :)
It's going to be a pain in the neck with the hockey games he has to attend a few times a week, but we'll figure it out. -
Yay GG! When does he return GD?
Posted 2 years ago by mollycat71 #
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Aww, that's great. I sure wish FF could come over tomorrow and hang with me and the girls. Wilma really likes him! But he has to work so its just the girls tomorrow.
Posted 2 years ago by mollycat71 #
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Gosh, I feel feminine, except of course when I've been on my bike for extended periods and wonder what that awful stench is only to discover that it's me, and I hardly ever wear a dress!!!!
Posted 2 years ago by WillowandWindismom #
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OOH YES! Go for it GD! I loved those darn things back when I played tennis in high school. Not so sure about my legs now! LOL But you will look fabulous!
Posted 2 years ago by mollycat71 #
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