Daily Kitten Chat Forum » Purrs

31. 

    Leeny,

    "What I am afraid of is that I'm going to be penalized for divorcing him--made to support him"

    What? You aren't supporting him now? Even if the state rules you have to pay spousal support to the YUTZ, it will be less than you are paying now to feed, clothe, shelter, and entertain this waste of breath. Additionally he is costing you your health. Spousal support is intended to allow the partner with lesser economic means to live the lifestyle to which they have become accustomed. With his entitled benefits, he will most likely be in better shape than he is with you negating support. What does he need to maintain his lifestyle? A couch, a cot, a TV, some TV dinners?...I doubt you are on a diet of filet mingon and caviar with silk sheets and a 65 inch home theater with Clipsahorn speakers. Don't sweat the spousal support just produce your income statements.

    "targeted with disapproval for deserting a disabled person."

    Anyone who disapproves is not worth your time. These idiots are as sick in their own ways as he is.

    "I'm imagining the divorce action to be like a criminal trial where I'm going to be the one on trial."

    Nope! this is civil. Divorces get nasty when you are proving wrong doing, there are children to support, or lots of money. A case of the spouse accused of abusive behavior or adultery getting no support or settlement of the property for impropriety in the marriage for example.

    "He's told me several times that his mother knows in heaven what is happening on earth and is upset with me about what I'm doing."

    Whenever H opens is mouth with one of these patent lies, call him out. Say, "You are a liar (or other appropriate description)." Or "That is not what your ___(relative) says."

    Anything he claims for himself, say, "No, I paid for it. It belongs to me. (you could even claim his undies, but I don't think I would other than to point out your generosity in letting him have some)".

    Posted 2 years ago by ailuromaniac #

32. 

    Ail, I have a 17-page document listing dates, times, and descriptions of abusive incidents; descriptions of "everyday" disrespectful and contemptuous behavior that doesn't make it to "abusive incident" level; and reasons why I am afraid to be in the same residence with him after he's served. I intend to give that to my lawyer, who can give it to the judge, and the judge can rule on the basis of the written record. I don't intend to argue or get nasty.

    Posted 2 years ago by Leeny #

33. 

    Leeny, it is my understanding that the court or judge will not award spousal support purely on who makes more money. Your husband has to make a request for spousal support when he responds to your filing which he must do if he wants to ask for that support. The Judge won't award any support if your husband doesn't ask for it. If Mr. H does ask for it, the judge will take in to account your income and expenses as well as your husbands options to apply for state support and all. If the Judge sees that it is a financial hardship for you, it is my understanding they won't award any support. Ask the lawyer all about this.

    I am sure you are already doing this but research as much as possible via computer (go to the library if you have to so Mr. H doesn't see what you are doing) and write down all your questions such as spousal support, restraining order options, etc. Ask all the questions you can think of even if you think they are stupid or silly. With a divorce, information and preparation is key. We are all here for you. Hugs to you in this difficult time.

    Posted 2 years ago by SylMiaFelixsMomma #

34. 

    SMM, I'm going to make a list of questions for the lawyer.

    Two of the three lawyers with whom I've consulted (including the one I plan to retain) told me that H has no right to spousal support. They said that spousal support is given when a spouse has given up a livelihood or career to raise children or to support the other spouse in a two-person career, such as a high-level executive or politician. H was on Social Security before we married and he will be on it after we divorce; he didn't give up anything he isn't going to be getting back.

    Another point to consider, which I know about from my experience with my late best friend, who lived on SSI: A person living on SSI can receive only $25 a month (at least that was what it was in the early 1990s) in income other than the SSI check. Anything more than that reduces the SSI check by the amount received from other sources. Therefore, H would not benefit from getting money from me anyway, because his SSI benefits would be reduced by that income.

    Posted 2 years ago by Leeny #

35. 

    Leeny,

    I think you're addicted to crises.

    Have you ever looked into Dialectical Behavior Therapy?

    I'm not being mean. I think all of your crises stem from an underlying feeling of worthlessness, stemming from your childhood.

    Posted 2 years ago by sharbimillionaire #

36. 

    "He's told me several times that his mother knows in heaven what is happening on earth and is upset with me about what I'm doing."

    Now that kind of got to me. H needs his own phoneline on the Psychic Network.

    Posted 2 years ago by Emma #

RSS feed for this topic

Reply

You must log in to post.