Daily Kitten Chat Forum » General Chat

1. 

   oiiii i always manage to do this and im glad you all are so patient in bearing with me. i have been dealing with moving my mum to another floor - twice, trying to get some further financial issues worked out for her, etc. also had to update some things for myself but o the upside i finally got health care (though i can only use it in NY which is where my permanent address has been updated to, though im often down here.) but they've gotten me much needed assistance much faster than pennsylvania ever did! and i even have foodstamps now. these are a few small things i am VERY thankful for.

   on the flipside......my mother and he patient she has a crush on situation which i thought had ended hasn't. it's only gotten more complex (which seems like the case always in my life). he asked me several times to take him into town. i refuse to because it's against policy for non family or previously approved friends to take anyone anywhere, and he is very moody and unpredictable. my mother agrees with me not taking him anywhere. however, he has apparently told my mums roommate that if i don't take him anywhere he will try to have romantic relations with my mother. now, he had told me last week he had no wish to be anything other than friends with my mother and had been put off by the letters she kept writing and having everyone, including me, try to give him. also, another patient had told him she had smoked some pot when she was on a visit with her daughter (they smoked it together on a home visit.) and he asked her to give him some and he'd pay her. my mother is a little skeptical, but still enamoured with him. and i dont know if some of these things were concocted by the roomate, or by him, or by a combo of the two, or what. but i don't like being dragged into this, and i don;t lije where it's leading. i again had to threaten my mother that as much as i love her, if she DID decide to get into a romantic relationship, i'm even starting to worry about simple friendships now - that she'd be wandering down danger street and could very easily pull me and other family into it. i can;t have this, so if she can't make a mature responsible decision then i will have to disown her and cut contact for the good of all. she's like a perennial troubled teenager. if you guys have any helpful advice, i could use it! lol im always finding myself in some kind of jam, whether i meant to or not!

   here are the kitten babies max and manvi. max is the orange one and manvinder is the black and white one -

   http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_tTwXcnHQ3c8/SslmB29tPGI/AAAAAAAAAHw/_udviI-P8r8/s400/IMG_0017.JPG

   http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_tTwXcnHQ3c8/SwH7FxtqRZI/AAAAAAAAAIQ/5AsYCgEg3e8/s400/IMG_0238.JPG

   and my big cat face's bday is tomorrow! mine is on the 30th...
   tc for bow n thanks as ALWAYS gang...love u all!

   Posted 2 years ago by Nirmal #

2. 

   Hi Nirmal! first of all Happy bd to you and your kit! As far as your mother is concerned--is she in a care facility? If so, take your concerns to the staff, assuming they are at all helpful. What he is doing is out and out blackmail. Tell them everything, so that there is a record of it. You were right in making your mother responsible for her own actions and you have been doing such a good job and so much for her that she SHOULD listen to you! I know that isn't always the case but if she won't give you a pat on the back, I will!

   Posted 2 years ago by Shelley #

3. 

   HUggg thanks so much shelly! it seems as though im being caught in the middle of a blackmail which now seems to be a three way balckmail. my mother is AKWAYS trying to blackmail me for one thing or another, and now this patient she likes seems to also, and so is her roomate. the roomate n her crush want me to take them places which is against the facility's policy. and yes, it is a nursing home mum's at. but you're right and if this keeps up i will have to tell the staff - again. i had talked to admin before n nothing was really done. i fear most if and when she is released what she will do...espcially if she did decide to continue her relationshop with this guy in real life.

   Posted 2 years ago by Nirmal #

4. 

   i just saw this thread... i am glad you talked to admin about this... maybe you need to talk to them and put it in writing... doesn't this man have family? the nursing home should step up on this one... you are doing the right thing.. don't let up ....

   Posted 2 years ago by beth #

5. 

   beth...yep. i knew the first time to put it in writing. and the guy does have family...he says they don't care about him. i do see them come sometimes and it seems they care more than he wants to think. i dunno. what i do know is that it's none of my business. what IS my business is how my easily impressionable. especially when she thinks soemone is enamoured with her. and in this case, it started to seem as she thought one way, he thought friends only, he told me one thing...then her roomie started saying things and this took a turn at crappy street right down OMFG lane now the roomie wants me to take her and others places and doesnt seem to listen. she has family come and i put my fot down that im not a cab service. even im confused and need a play by play of what's going on, and im caught up in a game of blackmailers. and this time my mum is both a fellow blackmailer AND a victim. and its sucking in others who we didnt want involved...which sounds like other issues going on in my life with other manipuative ppl which if u got an email from me a couple months back u probably know what i mean. at any rate, u bet im not gonna give up. when it comes to dealing with the safety and moral of others, i never give up. and my other is like a teenager who needs constant guidance. i am glad that she is there now, because in the real world she has only me to be that guider and refuses to liten to me, soemtimes at dangerous costs. even her old friend, other patients, and the staff are aware of it. but im glad to have the support here. i should call up her friend and get some advice from her too, and when i get together with my old besty for my birthday ill have to talk with her again as well. she took me out for dinner a few weeks back because i needed to get away and vent over a previous installment of this 'series'. if anything i can say my life is not boring. there's always soemthing complicating it soemhwere and i have gained and contine to gain so much knowledge.

   Posted 2 years ago by Nirmal #

6. 

   Blackmail seems an awful strong accusation. I would think the administration would take that very seriously and step in to ensure that everyone is taken care of appropriately. My prayers are with you and your mother as you make your way through this situation.

   Posted 2 years ago by SoxsMom #

7. 

   thnaks sox...last night she denied it being blackmail and said she was going to defend the room mate and the guy who is doing what he's doing. i am getting so fed up an scared i contacted my best friend (who hasn't answered), my uncle, my husband, and my mum's best friend. there's some odd comfort in that though......she's always been a part of my life, but a more distant part. not for any dishonest or unreasonable reasons that i know of. when i talked to her....i still feel incredibly uneasy, scared sh!tless and overwhelmed about the situation, but at the same time...i saw some bits of hope. she wants to get together over lunch one day and tell me some of the darker sides of mum that mum hasn't revealed over the years. and she knows my mum seems to live in a world of her own (maybe this is why i can observe this so well in others), and genuinely cares about both of us. she wants to help me deal with this situation. once in awhile, my mother did make good decisions. they are rare and often brief, but they do occur. when i was baptised as a baby, she chose this woman for my godmother. whilst i no longer am catholic or christian, she is coming to light as a guider which is something even i desperately need right now. n im sure if she feels she has any demons in her past, her efforts helping me surely make up for those. i always liked her alot, and trusted her as one of the best of the family friends. i'm just hoping that i,we, whatever can pjt a kaibosh to this before it gets any dicier than it already is. when i talked to the friend last night, she said take a day off. i wasn't going to, but then i decided she's right. matter of fact im going to take a few days off. ill get other things done that need to be done, including writing the letter for the admin. it's too bad if my other doesn't like it. it's for her own good and the good of others. she seems more like mere puttar - my child, than me being hers.

   Posted 2 years ago by Nirmal #

8. 

   I'm glad you are going to follow through with the letter to admin. You and your mom are in my prayers!

   Posted 2 years ago by Shelley #

9. 

   thnks shelley n gang! i sent out the letter. i also included printouts of the conversation she had via text message. this morning she decided to add **** you. i didn't get that in the printout because the letter was already sent, but i did save it to show the admin. it makes me feel good to know that i have such great support backing up my decision. i know im doing right, but sometimes you feel like ur the only one who seems to feel this, and when you find that there others who understand, it means so much. it gives me extra willpower to be able to do the right thing. needless to say ive chosen not to visit or speak to her until she changes her ways. which may look like ill be celebrating thanksgiving on my own this year.

   Posted 2 years ago by Nirmal #

10. 

    n now she says her roomates r peed at me because i wont visit her, n she wants me to hang out with the one's daughter who does drugs. i refuse.

    Posted 2 years ago by Nirmal #

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