Daily Kitten Chat Forum » General Chat

1. 

   A friend of mine sent me these and I thought I'd share a couple this Saturday afternoon:

   (A Dr. from Detroit, Michigan)
   I was caring for a woman and asked, "So how was your breakfast this morning?" She replied "It was very good except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste". I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly".

   (Submitted by an anonymous nurse)
   Nurse on duty in the ER when a young woman with purple hair styled in a punk rocker Mowhawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing enters. It was quickly determined that she had acute appendicitis, so she was sent into surgery. When she was completely disrobed and on the operating table, they noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green and above it was a tattoo that read "Keep off the grass".

   Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing which said "Sorry, had to mow the lawn".

   More to come........

   Posted 4 years ago by MaxandCali'sMom #

2. 

   I am DEFINITELY going to enjoy this thread!! :-)

   Posted 4 years ago by MadcatwomanintheUK #

3. 

   Lol, what a thing to wake up to.....thanks!!! loved 'em ;P

   Posted 4 years ago by AZDEB 5/27 Max,Haje,Ms. B & Lil Girl #

4. 

   Here are a couple more chuckles for the day:

   True stories:

   At the beginning of his shift the Dr. placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths", he instructed. "Well, they USED to be" replied the patient.

   One more:

   Dr. in Manitoba Canada: One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I had told a wife that her husband had died of a massive cardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart".

   Posted 4 years ago by MaxandCali'sMom #

5. 

   *almost helpless with laughter*

   Posted 4 years ago by MadcatwomanintheUK #

6. 

   MCW- so glad you're enjoying these. I've got lots of them. Many friends have e-mailed them to me over the years. Hope some more people will enjoy them tomorrow!

   In the meantime:

   A man comes into the ER and yells "My wife is going to have her baby in the cab!" I (the Dr.) grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed there were several cabs---and I was in the wrong one!!!!

   Posted 4 years ago by MaxandCali'sMom #

7. 

   Ooops!!! What a way to introduce yourself...

   I love stories like this Max & Molly's Mom, almost as much as I love the stories of what some people put on their car insurance claim forms... a man ran out in front of my car, I had to swerve several times before I hit him...the damage to my bumper was sustained by reversing into a tree in my garden I don't have...they're just great, keep 'em coming!!!

   Posted 4 years ago by MadcatwomanintheUK #

8. 

   I'll try to add a few each day. Not all medical chuckles, but chuckles and other useful information.

   Posted 4 years ago by MaxandCali'sMom #

9. 

   Did you hear the one about the 3 blondes who were driving to Disneyland?
   They saw a sign that said "Disneyland, Left"--so they turned around and went home.

   Posted 4 years ago by MaxandCali'sMom #

10. 

    Groan!!! :-)

    Posted 4 years ago by MadcatwomanintheUK #

11. 

    Yes, love the chuckles...

    Posted 4 years ago by AZDEB 5/27 Max,Haje,Ms. B & Lil Girl #

12. 

    Very funny Max and Molly's mom!

    Posted 4 years ago by Renee in Arkansas #

13. 

    A nurse walks into a bank. Preparing to write a check, she pulls a
    rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with it. She
    looks at the flabbergasted teller and, without missing beat, says,
    "Well, that's great..........that's really great........Some butthole's
    got my pen.

    Posted 4 years ago by MeezerMama in OK; 10/23 #

14. 

    Ha!

    Posted 4 years ago by GreatDane #

15. 

    I like the story of the neurological surgeon who was heading for a final pre-op consultation with a patient and his family before some very delicate surgery. As he confidently walked past the nurses' station, whistling a cheery tune, one of the nurses rushed out to stop him. When the surgeon asked what the hurry was, the nurse answered "Do you really want to walk into that room whistling 'If I Only Had a Brain'?"

    The surgeon, in telling the story, expressed his heartfelt gratitude to the quick-thinking nurse!

    Posted 4 years ago by gatakitty #

16. 

    This is sort of a northern joke, you'll see why after you read it:

    As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up, jumps out of her car, runs to his truck and knocks on the window. He rolls down the window and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load." He ignores her and proceeds down the street.

    When the truck stops for anothr red light, the girl catches up again, jumps out of her car , runs up and knocks on the window. Again the trucker lowers the window. As if they'd never spoken, the blond says brightly "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load!" Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street.

    At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, she gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the window and the trucker again lowers the window. Again, she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you're losing some of your load!"

    When the light turns green, the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck and runs back to the blonde's car, knocks on her window and as she lowers it he says...

    "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's winter in Michigan and I'm driving a SALT TRUCK!"

    Posted 4 years ago by MaxandCali'sMom #

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