I could really use some hugs and advice from my TDK family. My husband of 19 years announced to me on Saturday that he want's a divorce. I did not see this coming at all. We have talked several times over the weekend and he has made it abundantly clear that he has made up his mind, and there is nothing I can do to fix or change things. It is with a very heavy heart that I am now going to be forced into a situation that I will have to re-home some of my babies. I will get no help from him with them. I don't even no where to begin in trying to find them homes, I could use anybody's advice that I can get. My babies are family to me and I have got to do the best that I possibly can for them. Please keep my son and I and my babies in your prayers.
Daily Kitten Chat Forum » Purrs
Life altering news - I need some prayers and advice
(126 posts)-
Posted 1 year ago by BoogerMercurysMama #
-
Oh, BMM. I am so, so sorry.
{{{{{{BMM}}}}}}
I hope that others will be able to help with advice but for now I just wanted to send you and your son (and kitties) all my love and tell you how sorry I am that this has happened to you. I don't know what to say. (Except for very unfluffy things about your husband.) Lots of love, Jane.
-
Thank you Jane very much, it means a lot to me that I can reach out to my TDK family.
Posted 1 year ago by BoogerMercurysMama #
-
I am so sorry for you and send you strength and hugs. How many babies do you have? And why will you have to re-home them? Are you going to be forced to move?
Don't do anything, including moving out, until you have talked to a lawyer. How old is your son? Is he your husband's son too? Do you own or rent? There are so many things that will have an effect on what you do and whether the courts will make your husband provide some sort of support.
It's going to be hard, but it may not be as terrible as you are anticipating. You need to find out your legal rights before you accidentally give any of them up.
Posted 1 year ago by CheetahBoysmommy #
-
-
I live in a community property state so everything will be halved. We own our home with a mortgage and I will not be financially able to buy out his share plus I will not be able to afford it on my own. I do intend to consult with an attorney asap, but unfortunately I have to be realistic that a move is probably imminent. My son starts his senior year of high school this year and I a fell awful that he has to be put thru this, but neither one of us has been given a choice in the matter. As a matter of fact I was told to take my casts and leave but that's not happening!! I want to try to have a game plan in mind for the babies so that I am not having to try to make quick arrangements for them if things do go that way, they didn't ask for this either. Thanks for your support.
Posted 1 year ago by BoogerMercurysMama #
-
Sorry I meant to say it is our son.
Posted 1 year ago by BoogerMercurysMama #
-
-
-
{{{bmm}}} Really sorry to hear, honestly though unless you fear for your safety, do not move out of the house. Like said above, see a lawyer as soon as you can, I am assuming that he made up his mind on this without including you in the decision. If you lawyer recommends counselling, go even if it is by yourself. With the housing market the way it is, can't imagine that it would sell really fast so you have some time to find something first. Do you have friends or family that can help you with temporarily taking the kitties if you do have to move? I know a lot of questions and not enough time to digest it all, don't make any concrete plans though until you have seen a lawyer.
Again, {{{BMM}}} to your son and the kits also.
Posted 1 year ago by AZDEBRA 5/27 & crew #
-
OMG Words fail me as well. I am so sorry BMM. What a horrible, hurtful, confusing, shocking thing to be told after 19 years. I am keeping you, your son and your babies in my thoughts and prayers. Sending you lots of big comforting hugs. ((((((BMM)))))))))
Posted 1 year ago by cricketsmama #
-
-
(((HUGS))) I know the pain and the torture you are going through I too Got divorced in my 19th year! It hurts! If you need me I'll be here or you can e-mail me! Oh honey this sucks! But remember you are a strong wonderful woman and you can do anything you set your mind and life too!!
{{{{BIG BEAR HUG}}}
peace aqnd prayers
Dorie
Ps Remind me how old is your son?
And get a lawyer ASAP!Posted 1 year ago by 3 kits staff #
-
{{BMM}} Please don't leave the house. You might be surprised how many rights you do have. You are not the one leaving. Keeping you, your son and furrkids in my thoughts and prayers. There is life after this and you will be amazed how strong you really are.
Posted 1 year ago by SammyandOliversmama #
-
Keeping you, your son, and your furbabies in my prayers. So sorry to hear of this. Stay strong, and see a lawyer, asap. Hugs.
Posted 1 year ago by Lynn from PA 6/8 #
-
Do not give up hope and do not give anyone away. It is his choice and you can say you don't want it and he will have to give up much more than you think. Do not let him bully you into anything and if he tries make sure your lawyer knows about it and uses it against him. You can and will get through this...hug from us all.
-
I echo the advice of the others. STAY in the house as long as you possibly can. Your son's still a minor and hubby will have to pay child support if your son stays with you. I live in a 50-50 state too, and you have more rights than you may think you have (at this stressful time).
It will buy you some time to think of a plan for you, your son and your kitties. And let me echo the others in offering my sympathies and love...maybe try some counseling if you can.
-
Words fail me BMM over the way you have been treated.
{{{{{BMM}}}}} & {{{{son & kits}}}}Posted 1 year ago by Moonshadow_NZ #
-
I'm sorry to hear you are going through such a rough time right now, BMM! I can offer support of prayers and warm thoughts. I know it will be hard and you and your son, but I believe that you will have the strength to rise above it all and feel good about yourself, your son, and your situation. Hang in there; we love you.
Posted 1 year ago by LadyKat of IA #
-
BMM, strong encouraging hugs from New Orleans.... I agree with the others, stay put (he cannot make you leave), get a good tough lawyer, and don't agree to anything with hubby without consulting a lawyer! Nothing wrong with planning for the future, but it may take some time for this all to become a legal reality, and given his work schedule, maybe you need to define his space and your space in the house, and then ignore the baS*#@d.
Posted 1 year ago by nawlins catmom #
-
He has no right to make you leave the house. If he is so adament then he can pack up and leave. I am thinking unfluffy things right now. But I hope that you can get in touch with a good attorney and everything works out. I'm sending a big hug your way.
Posted 1 year ago by MizzCupnCake #
-
-
I am so sorry. I wish I knew words to help the pain lessen, but I don't think there are any right now. Please do not let him push you out of the home. Should be become loudly vocal and threatening to try and intimidate you to leave, make a 911 call and place a report. Yes there is a possibility in the end everything will be split in half, but there is also a possibility that it won't depending on what he does. May you turn here for comfort and support.
-
Oh sweetie, I am so so SO sorry about this. How horrible and cruel of him. I will say that he can NOT make you leave the house. Get a good attorney and find out ALL of your options. (((BMM))) I will keep you, your son, and your kitties in my prayers. xoxoxoxo
Much Love
HM
Posted 1 year ago by HuddysMama #
-
{{{{BMM}}}}, as others have said talk to an attorney before making any firm decisions. I believe most will give a free consultation. I have to agree with others, this was his decision he should be the one who moves out.
I'm so sorry that you have to go thru this. I will keep you and your son in my prayers.
Posted 1 year ago by Crazycatman - CA #
-
Hugs and prayers BMM. Don't move out of the house. It is your house. He can be out on his own if that's what he wants. You have a son and furkids to take care of, raise and be an good role model for. Lots of hugs for your son too. My son is about the same age as yours. Your son needs all the support he can get at this time in his life. A mentor, male relative, family friend, school councelor, sports coach and some positive outside support would be good for him. Research the laws in your state and double check any advise you get. Be informed and stay strong. Most of all take care of yourself. It's okay to upset just don't let it overtake you. Your TDK family is here for you always.
-
Not only go see a lawyer, but also go to the bank, withdraw your fair share of any money in any savings account and put it in your name. Open your own checking account and have your wages direct deposited there. Lockdown any investments you jointly have as well. Cancel all joint credit cards and get new ones in your own name. Get a P.O. Box and have all mail sent there.
Is he wanting out because he has a girlfriend? Dig in your heels, lawyer up and make life as difficult for him as possible with the goal of making him walk away with very little in order to get out. My friend HH is going through a very similar situation after 23 years. Her husband apparently wants to get out into the dating world. (he's posted on match.com and other sites) She has made screen captures of his page, gotten copies of phone records, etc for later use in negotiation or in court) She is absolutely refusing to leave the house, will not co-sign a car loan for him and has canceled all credit cards in their joint names so that he cannot add to their debt load.
Good luck and prayers for your and your son. It's going to be tough and emotional, but you can make it through.
Posted 1 year ago by KYKAT 12 23 #
-
I don't have any advice, just a sincere "I'm so sorry" and hugs for you, your son, and your babies.
Posted 1 year ago by Bellantara #
-
BMM...I'm so sorry you & your son are being put in this position by this,excuse me for my bluntness,lousy excuse for a man. I know too well that sick feeling in your gut when your told to get out. But,like the others said, do not move out just b cuz said idiot told you to. You & your son have rights. Very lousy example that this man is showing for your son. He will regret it some day. I have no advice on what you can do w/your furbabies. I'm in the exact same position w/no one to take them in order for me to take the next step out of here. I do know that I've refused to leave a place I made a home after 26 yrs.
I'm so glad you & your son have each other to get thru this together. Hold on tight to one another & you will get thru it. I'm sending Prayers for you & your son that things will turn out right for the 2 of you & so-called husband gets the bad karma he deserves. Praying that you can find a sound situation for your furbabies as well. {{{HUGS}}} -
Reply »
You must log in to post.