This is a hard weekend and I think the "start" of the downfall. I am going to a wedding tomorrow that FF was supposed to go to with me. He was totally squirmy about going to a wedding and not knowing my coworkers. I am sitting here so sad and lonely. It was today I realized how much we were into each other. So many times today I went to pick up my phone to call him, text him, send him a funny. It wasn't uncommon to be in contact 10-15 times per day every day (up until yesterday). He did respond to my request about what happened, can we see each other and what the heck is going on in his life. I just can't bring myself to open the email. I don't want to read something that will hurt me further. Wish I weren't so all alone here and had someone close by to be here with me when I opened it. I know you guys think he's unfluffy but I loved him and miss his so much. I wish we could have had a horrible fight so I could be mad at him or hate him but I just can't. Its funny how you get that "feeling" when you meet someone and I had never had that before. Sure I had relationships but this one really seemed like "the one". OMG, I am so sorry to keep drowning you guys in my thoughts. I will try to stop posting and boring you with all my emotions.
Daily Kitten Chat Forum » Purrs
So FF dumped me today! MC :(
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Posted 1 year ago by mollycat71 #
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You are not BORING us with your emotions. That is what friends are for and you have obviously been thrown for a major loop. I'm sorry that there is not somebody local to hold your hand while you read his email. But don't worry about us. We are too busy worrying about you ;).
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You friend from work lives pretty close, what about a girls night at your house. Call any of your friends and make plans to go to a movie or maybe out Christmas sight seeing a pretty neighborhood. Anything to get yourself out doing something that will not make you have to walk around as you are still healing a broken tibia. Does it really matter what anyone else thinks of him? I don't know him, but to break up by text is something my middle schoolers do. I do not expect a grown man to demonstrate cowardly behavior. Time will help, but the best help is getting busy and staying busy. Pick up the phone and call a friend. I'm sure they would like to hear from you and see you.
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Problem is all my friends are married and have kids. I truly would be a burden to them. I am not going to invade on their family time. I can't think of a single friend who is single. Save the one who is getting married tomorrow!
Posted 1 year ago by mollycat71 #
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MC if they are your friends you are not a burden. If a friend called you and needed to talk would you say no too busy with the family. I have several friends that are married and unmarried. They are my friends. I am there for them and they are there for me. You are kinda short changing your friends. You are not even giving them the opportunity to be your friend and help you through a hardship.
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Amy, I really hope that what I am going to say is not misconstrued. I don't want to sound like I am being harsh. I am trying to get you out of the "he really was the one" mode that any of us who were dumped tend to believe about the person who dumped us. I know from personal experience that if I had not been so enmeshed in that fantasy and had not chosen to canonize the man who dumped me, it would have saved me four years of depression.
I believe that if you look back to many of the posts you wrote about FF for the past year and a half, you will realize that he really was not the one. I think that he helped you during a lonely and stressful time, but I do not think he was of serious relationship caliber. For that reason, I would not view your relationship with him as a waste of time. He provided companionship when you needed companionship.
And as many of us have said; forty is not too old to find "the one" and to start a family. In the early 60s, my mom met my father when she was 40 and he was 48 and she gave birth to me at 42 and to my sister at 44.5. They had both been married before but said they did not know what love was until they were in their 40s. I'm sure most of us have stories like that to share with you.
It may take some time for you to realize that there are other, more suitable partners out there for you. But, the sooner that is realized, the sooner you will heal. In the meantime, do not cocoon yourself and hide from the world. Get out there with friends. If they can't join you, get out there alone. Just get out there. It may save you a world of depression. The more receptive you are to receive love, the easier it will be to find.
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Hello Amy I haven't been on the computer for two days. Came here to TDK and saw your post. I am so sorry for you. I feel so bad that you are in such pain. I agree with what everyone has said here. What a wise and wonderful bunch of friends we have. You are a beautiful person, you are very smart,you are very talented, you are very caring, you are very brave and you are not a burden to anyone. Oh my goodness I could go on and on. OH and 40 is not old it is a number!!~ Please keep posting we care very much about you.
MAJOR HUGS TO YOUPosted 1 year ago by jeanjellibean20 #
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I agree with Dee. The 40s are wonderful and the 50s and the 60s and yes, even the 70s. There is a lot of living to be done out here. I was in my 40s when I was liberated by me. Widowed at 58 and then married my sweetie at 59. 2011, it will be 15 glorious years together. It is hard tho. Sending you TDK strength to get through this. {{Amy}}
Posted 1 year ago by SammyandOliversmama #
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MC! Just seeing this! I am so sorry! One good thing is he was honest and admitted your health was a concern and worry to him. Another good thing is he wans't dumping you for another woman. As for his feeling inadaquite next to you as well he should have brought this to you before. But then some men cna't stand feeling less then an equal if not superior to their lovers! Sad either way! As for 40 might be hard 30 this year hit me harder then i thought it would. But either way you always have your TDK family to listne and lend support! Still sucks no doubt but my only one complaint is he should have manned up and said all this in person not in text!
Much love and support!
AngePosted 1 year ago by Momma to 2 MaineCoons #
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MC, I told you about this on Facebook but want to mention it here too. I have also been horribly disappointed by someone I loved, more than once and not just romantically. Over time I became thankful that it revealed that I was honoring the other person and loving them unconditionally and it was not reciprocal. In this case, it is better to know that than to go on thinking that person cares for you just as much as you care for them. With that being said, I don't want to bash FF because I know you still love him, and who knows what is going through his head? Anyway, I told you on FB that I have an audio of Maya Angelou poems honoring women that I play when I'm down. Here is the title poem:
Phenomenal Woman
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a womanPhenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.Maya Angelou
Phenomenal woman: That's AMY!!!!
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Amy I am so sorry-I just got on here for the first time in weeks and found this. I will keep you in my prayers dear friend. You are never a burden.
Posted 1 year ago by rainingwolf #
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Wow, shocked to see this "bumped" up again. Yes, each day it gets a little easier. There were a lot of things between us that I never brought up here. Things that truly made me think we were in it forever. I spoke with my bestest friend of 33 years and she and I came to the conclusion that he totally panicked and pulled away. I am sorry that he felt he was getting to close and couldn't handle it. I am supposed to start my counseling this week. My dear friend who got married last weekend called me late last night that she was home from her honeymoon. She wants to get together for coffee and talk. She was dumped by text prior to meeting her now husband. I know there will be better days, it just takes time. And I may need a little extra time since we did go thru some very life changing things (ie two brain surgeries and his finding out he has MS). I think once I deal with the emotions and struggles from the surgeries I will be much better. Thank you again for you support and not being bothered by my postings. You have helped me more than you could ever know family. CW, funny, another friend gave me the same Maya Angelou poem, must be fate! :)
Posted 1 year ago by mollycat71 #
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{{{Amy}}} I have not been on much at all lately because of finals and work but I was very sorry to read this. I can't imagine what he will think of himself in years to come for sending you a text. You looked beautiful at the wedding, my husband saw the picture also and said FF lost out BIGTIME! and that you are better off to find a man who enjoys being a man and not a child. That texting really turned us off. My prayers for a lovely holiday season for you and the kits.
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Amy...I really do know what you mean when you speak of all your friends being married with and/or children. You feel you can't connect w/them anymore because of their different lifestyles. That's why It's been so tough for me to break away from where I'm at. After spending 26 yrs. w/him, I feel cheated that he didn't look at this as a forever relationship.
So,everyone I know or am friends with has a partner & family & all the good stuff we all want to have in our lives. I support whatever & however long it takes you to get thru this. Only at your own pace you should go. I'm still struggling w/trying to complete my mission to leave from here. My TDk Family helps to keep me focused & stronger than I would be w/out You/them all. Your an Inspiration to many. Just remember that!!
{{{AMY}}}
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