Daily Kitten Chat Forum » Cats & Kittens

1. 

   As I hope many of you know, I value and trust and am grateful for all of the advice you have either given me or helped me on. I really need it now.

   I have some sad news. Last night Duchess attacked me with her claws, it is not the first time she has done this, but it has been once too many for Mr. DM. The first time she attacked me I had scratches on my neck, collar bone, all over my back, my arm and even my chest. This was a week before Gabriel even moved in. I aboslutely love Duchess with all of my heart and I know Mr. DM does ,but he told me the first time she attacked me she was out. I begged him to let her stay since I knew she wouldn't do it again, yet she proved me wrong.

   Mr. DM has said, that it's 1 cat, not both, so one of them will have to go. He is willing to try to work on it, but I can tell he wants one to leave. Before Duchess attacked me, we were thinking maybe Gabriel should stay with my mom for a couple of days until we get Duchess sorted out since she has refused food for the past two days.and I don't think she has pooed at all. I thought she was handling Gabriel better but last night she hissed at him and stayed away when he was in her room in his crate.

   we had decided to leave Gabriel in her room for the night so he could wander around and get used to her smell and let her sleep with us [since she loves to]. Right when Gabriel had fallen asleep Mr. DM was relaxing and I was reading it was then Duchess out of nowhere attacked me and it was painful she only got my shoulder this time.

   This is where I need your help I do not want to get rid of either kitten. Duchess is my first kitten that I've ever raised. Gabriel is now out of a crate and can actually have room to move and loves Mr. DM and I. I do realize that potentially one will have to go, I don't want either to leave, but I can't keep living with the stress that we both get from having both of them with us.. We've decided temporarily to have Duchess with my mom since we think it will be better for her to not be able to sense Gabriel at all and Mr. DM doesn't want her anywhere near me in case she attacks me again.

   Please if anyone has any advice I would greatly appreciate it, I'm at a lost right now. I cried all last night because of my heart just ripping and being torn in confusion.

   I have decided to bring Duchess in for a vet visit in case something is wrong that I can't see.

   Posted 1 year ago by Duchess&&Gabriel #

2. 

   Ok what do you mean by attack? Shes a 6 month old kitten. They pounce and play! jax was very attacky and bitey as a little boy but he grew out of it mostly.

   I think attack is a strong word. You tend to project a lot of human emotion on the kittens. They are animals. You can't expect them to behave as humans. You havent had gaberiel but a few days! I personally think you need to get a new Mr. DM if this is his line of thinking. I know you love your kitties very much, but seriously they are animals and they need time to adjust and they are going to behave like the little preditors that they are. That's gentically in them. Duchess probably needs a while to adjust to the new little one and you are doing everything right. You have to remember they are not experiencing human emotions.

   Posted 1 year ago by schminken #

3. 

   Also have you tried that bachs rescue remedy? I'm not sure if you can give to kittens, but i see that it helped others.

   Posted 1 year ago by schminken #

4. 

   This seems to be a normal adjustment thang with kitties, I hope your hubby understands!

   Duchess was the true Queen of the household, and now she sees an Intruder. Wouldn't you be upset too? Of course you would...and you would let someone know the only way you could, that you were not happy.

   Keeping Duchess away from any scent of Gabriel (or vice-versa) will only prolong the adjustment process, and might derail any potential improvements. Please talk to a vet about this, they'll probably tell you the same thing, and maybe that will help your hubby understand this is normal adjustment when a new kitty is introduced.

   I am doing just that right now: introducing two kittens to Hermes. He is so calm and gentle that we are not separating them, the kittens are busy with each other and ignore him for the most part. He is watchful and slow around them, but there has been some hissing, from Willow and Hermes at each other. Luna hasn't made a peep, she just goes into a submissive position and watches Hermes. Willow has also hissed at both my husband and I, probably because we smell like Hermes :-) She has cut WAY back just in 24 hours on the hissing, I think she's getting used to her new home and us.

   Hubby told me this morning he rattled the treat jar and all three came running to the kitchen...

   I totally expect more hissing and growling and maybe even a smack from one to another as they adjust, but it's very normal for the original kitty to feel threatened when new ones come to the house. Patience and lots of love. Maybe clipping Duchess' little needle claws might be helpful?

   Posted 1 year ago by Siobhan #

5. 

   It does take time & patience. Eventually they will meld. When Crockey moved in Dot was not very happy. She never attacked me but would bat Crockey & call him "Meathead" for monthes. Echoing Sio I too wouldn't seperate them for that will only prolong the adjustment. Just clip Duchess's claws, give her lots of smoochies & attention letting her know she still is very special. How about tempting her with her fave treat or some chickie babyfood...that always works for Dot!

   Posted 1 year ago by jeankit #

6. 

   I do hope you and hubs can rethink this.....kittens do attack and play rough....I strongly recommend Feliway diffusers, which is what I used when I introduced my Rambo and Jasper. Also the Bachs Remedy is very good. I also use a spray bottle of water for disciplining, which works great....not sure if that is appropriate for kittens, other TDKers can help me with this. I wish you the very best of luck and I hope and pray you will be able to keep both of your kitts {{{{{HUGS}}}}}

   Posted 1 year ago by katthays #

7. 

   Sadly Schminken, this was a fully fledged attack compared to what she normally does. I understand that she is just a kitten and I let her get away with most everything. There have been times she has been kind of playful attacky where she has scratched me or sometimes she's bitten me, but she has never gone for a frontal attack. The first attack she waited until I had entered the room and all I remember is her claws sinking into my chest and her clawing her way to my back. Without writing a page on Duchess' behavoir this is not normal I know how she is and that was not a normal play attack she actually attacked me, I would never say attack if she was playing. The first attack happened before Gabriel was even brought into the house. the second was last night. the fact that she hasn't eaten and I don't think even peed or pooed leads me to believe there is something else wrong with her. Mr. DM is only trying to look out for my well being, I wouldn't say that I would need to get a new one, I think he's worried about me since these were painful attacks I cried from the pain. I am trying very had with both of my kittens and I think one day it will be fine I just am worried for the lack of eating.

   Siobhan: I do see it from Duchess' side and that is the only reason why I thought he may be stressing her out to not eat, but she is going to see the vet to rule out anything medical. I also see it from Gabriel's side too he wants a play mate and he's willing to play she is scared though.

   I feel it's easier in your situation since they have each other and then Hermes, Duchess has herself and us and now she has to share her attention with us with Gabriel. I do realize that it's not going to be an easy situation at all. I knew that going in but there is something else wrong that I think has nothing to do with Gabriel. The first attack she did her claws were clipped she just really dug in.

   Jeankit: I only thought removing one of them would be better so I can find out what's wrong with Duchess since there is something wrong with her I just don't know what. But I have tried what you suggested so I think it is slightly working but my main concern is Duchess' health.

   Katthays: I don't want to get rid of Duchess at all. I' want to keep her and Gabriel. I do have a feliway diffuser I don't know if it is working for Duchess or not, I think it is with Gabriel though he's calming down more. I do use a water bottle but this was not a play attack this was an attack attack I didn't have enough time to use a waterbottle since she was so quick and it's not what I was expecting from her.

   Thank you all for your advice and words I am thinking over it as much as I can.

   Posted 1 year ago by Duchess&&Gabriel #

8. 

   Ohhhh no. I have no advice, but I hope you get to keep both babies. I'm so sorry you are going through this. (((D&&G))

   Posted 1 year ago by HuddysMama #

9. 

   I'll leave the advice for the more experienced cat people. I just wanted to say I'm so sorry that happened and that it has upset you and your husband so much. I'm hoping things work out for you to keep them both. Maybe Mr. DG will reconsider.

   Posted 1 year ago by ecbrown #

10. 

    I wanted to add something I think that Mr. DM said a lot of it out of the heat of the moment but I know he wants what is best for me and us and the kittens.

    I want to stay this clearly and kindly to everyone: I AM NOT getting rid of Duchess, she is not being put down, she is not being given away, and she is not being put in a shelter. I am going to work with her. I am going to work with Gabriel. I do not want either to leave, and I will try my best to make it work but in the end it's not my decision it's theirs [Duchess if she can handle another kitten and Gabriel's if he wants a playmate and firiend]. Please do not think I planned on getting rid of her.

    Mr. DM can say what he wants but it is ultimately my decision in the household.

    We both want Duchess that's a given even he said he wants 1 cat. Gabriek I want as a playmate for Duchess and for me too. Mr. DM is first and foremost concerned about my well being, then Duchess'.

    I do believe they can get along once Duchess learns what other cats are and Gabriel becomes older. Perhaps I rushed slightly due to what I thought was good reactions [not hissing constantly or attacking]

    Posted 1 year ago by Duchess&&Gabriel #

11. 

    I have to wonder what mr dm is going to when you have kids and one of them misbehaves? Are you gonna have to get rid of the kid as well?? I'm sorry, but stuff like this really rubs me up the wrong way.

    Posted 1 year ago by Skyron #

12. 

    D&&G, I just ordered the feliway diffuser for my bully Milo, but I also ordered an oral form of the feliway in case he needed that form of the med. Maybe that could work for Duchess as well? Another reason she could be acting out this was is she may be coming into her first heat?? Has she had her spa day yet? Just thinking out loud. Anyway, good luck and please don't give up just yet, she is working some things out right now and needs your understanding. Good luck!!

    Posted 1 year ago by debsterwiz #

13. 

    Look if you guys are not going to give me helpful or supporting advice and read THROUGH THE ENTIRE POST, then I will not post any longer. I am asking for help and support, I come here because you guys all own cats and know what it is like, but I am not getting help from being put down.

    I just said I WAS NOT GETTING RID OF DUCHESS!!!!!!! I quit The Daily Kitten, I am not going to post if people are going to make me feel terrible for posting. I am asking for help not for you to put me down, to berate me or to make me feel bad becuase I'm lost. I ask for support instead I get people making me feel foolish.

    And Skyron to ask me that is just rude, of course we're not going to get rid of our kids if we have them.

    Deb: Sorry I just noticed your post. Yes she was spayed a month ago, but she is going to vet to make sure EVERYTHING got removed. Thank you.
    Thank you ECB and HM for just supporting me.

    Posted 1 year ago by Duchess&&Gabriel #

14. 

    She's fixed already. She's being a kitty. I think you should at least give a couple more weeks before you make a decision.

    Posted 1 year ago by schminken #

15. 

    I am so sorry that you are going through this. I applaud you for working with her.She might need to go to the vet,if she is not eating or drinking she might be unwell,maybe she has a UTI or something. It's hard to tell. The only two times in my life that I was bit in earnest by a cat they were very ill. Please have her checked out. Also I once had to put one of my cats on a tranquilizer sort of medicine because she was attacking my other cats. She had been out on her own outside and attacked my cats because that's the only way she knew how to act. After a short time on the med she saw that she was going to get fed and I took her off the med and she did well. Sometimes the vet can give you a transdermal med that you can apply to her ear if she is acting too feisty to take anything orally. Hang in the DM and Mr DM,you can get through this.
    Remember DM since you raised Duchess from a tiny baby she literally thinks you are her mommy {{{{HUgs}}}}

    Posted 1 year ago by Buttercup #

16. 

    Maybe you could try putting Soft Paws on your kits until they get use to each other. That way if Duchess goes bonkers again, she won't be able to actually scratch you.

    http://www.softpaws.com/

    I have to agree that her behaviour doesn't sound like the Duchess we are use to. She might be teething, or have some sort of pain that's causing her to react poorly. Is it possible that something is scaring her? Maybe a prowling animal outside or a noise you can't hear? I know Duchess is a rambunctious (and maybe a little spoiled) kitten still, but what you described is a little out of the ordinary, especially since it happened once before you got Gabriel.

    I have to agree with the post that said not to temporarily rehome one of them. Even if you have to keep them in separate rooms at your home, it's best to keep them in the same place. That way they will come to realize they are going to be friends and roomies faster.

    Posted 1 year ago by CheetahBoysmommy #

17. 

    Yes, that's true. Maybe she has a UTI from stress. I used to have a roommate that had this really lovely himalayian gir. But she often got UTIs whever something new happened- new furniture, new person etc.... My friend always had to take her to the vet for it, but once they cleared it up, the kitty was fine and finally got use to the new thing.

    Posted 1 year ago by schminken #

18. 

    I'm sorry, i couldnt see your last post when i posted my reply. I work from my blackberry, i cant see new posts that came on since i last loaded the page. I dont think i was being rude. I was pointing out that if this is how your bf/husband responds to an animal misbehaving, what will his reaction be to a child or some other creature getting it wrong?? No one is saying you should leave. You asked for opinions, dont go running away when someone has one that doesnt fit in with yours.

    Posted 1 year ago by Skyron #

19. 

    Perhaps a trip to the vet would be a good idea just to rule out any pain or discomfort she might be having. Please know I wish you the very best!!!

    Posted 1 year ago by katthays #

20. 

    Hi, D&G - I'm so sorry that you have experienced this and it doesn't sound like the Duchess that we know. Like CBM, I was going to suggest the Soft Paws. Also, I give Windi Bach's Rescue Remedy for Pets three times a week in her food. She is very nervous and it just helps her to be more calm. I think that it has helped her a lot. I order it on Amazon but if you try it, be certain that it is the one for pets as all of the others have alcohol. It must not have a taste because she doesn't even seem to notice that it's there.

    http://www.amazon.com/Rescue-Remedy-Pet-Formula/dp/B001S0RTLY/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1297883568&sr=8-1

    Posted 1 year ago by WillowandWindismom #

21. 

    prayers for Mrs. and Mr. DM, Duchess, and Gabriel

    Posted 1 year ago by CSBM #

22. 

    D&G....... No advice or suggestions from me other than what has already been mentioned. Tho, I will say that behavioral changes can happen after a kitty spay. Obviously rare in occurrence, as my vet said he had never heard of such a thing. Well.....I'm living the rarity. The once sweet, get along with the rest of the household cats, prior to being spayed, is now an aggressive attacker of anything that has 4 legs. I won't go into detail, as this is not about me. Hopefully, all will work itself out, with time and patience on your side.

    Posted 1 year ago by 12PAWZinFL #

23. 

    please stay on TDK Duchess and Gabriel's mom...

    Posted 1 year ago by CSBM #

24. 

    Yes, please don't let a less than polite response keep you away. I'm sure most of us who have been reading your posts still have high hopes for Duchess and Gabriel and look forward to your updates. Let us know what the vet says.

    Posted 1 year ago by ecbrown #

25. 

    D&&G, I can't imagine you'd get better advice anywhere than from your mum, she has loads of experience. Jasper and Libs HATE having other cats around so I am not the best person to advise on these things.

    Posted 1 year ago by jcat #

26. 

    I think everything will work out, they just need time. One thing that worked great for me was to rub pure vanilla extract on both cats necks and behind the ears, and between the shoulder blades. They smelled the same and the grumpy one relaxed very quickly. They smelled like Twinkies too. Another suggestion is to scruff her if it happens again and hiss at her. Then give her a time out in another room away from you. You can go in and spend time with her, talk to her softy and pet her, hand feed her yummy treats. Of course continue to spoil Gabriel too! I think eventually they will be very good friends. Maybe you and your husband can sit next to each other, each with a cat in arm, at a safe distance apart, but close enough to feel together. You can wrap Duchess in a towel like a burrito if you think she will flip out. I hope all works out at the vet.

    Posted 1 year ago by pucca #

27. 

    D&&G
    i just got here. I'm sorry you're having trouble. I think it's a great idea to have Duchess checked out by the vet. Any time one of the cats acts in an abnormal (for them) way, that's the first thing I think of. I think the Rescue Remedy is also a good idea. The vet may also be able to give you some suggestions to modify Duchess' behaviour.

    Please don't leave. I'm pretty new here, but surely Skyron was making a joke. We all need to be careful; it's so easy for a written comment to be misunderstood.

    Posted 1 year ago by Tripleransom #

28. 

    I really think that people are trying to help you the best that they can. I wish I could offer something helpful, but I think anything I would suggest has already been said. I do hope that you will be able to work through this. I know that at that age Deuter was a terror--or as I tried to remind myself an interior decorator. I was fortunate as Deuter worked through it and is much better. Although he still has his moments. Prayers of peace and reduced stress to you and Mr. DM.

    Did you talk to your Mom about this? I know she has given great advice before, maybe she has a tip you could try.

    Posted 1 year ago by SoxsMom #

29. 

    Honey, I know that you are still getting used to kittens and cats, so please don't give up on Duchess.

    Think of it this way: introducing a new cat or kitten into the house is just the same as if your husband brought home some gorgeous 20-something blonde and said, "Darling, this is Bambi. She is going to be living with us from now on. And I still love you bunches."

    Posted 1 year ago by Emma #

30. 

    Time and patience and it will all work out. Emma bit the stew out of me not long after we first got her. She was upset and confused and that was her only way of showing it. These days you would never know she was capable of such a thing. Please let us know what the vet said. A version of kitty prozak may help to get her through this adjustment period.

    Posted 1 year ago by KYKAT 12 23 #

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