a family member sent me a link to these essays about grieving. The author wrote them just after losing her mother. I am finding them helpful, so I thought I would post
http://www.slate.com/id/2291261/entry/2211256/
They are the basis for a book called the Long Goodbye.
Posted 1 year ago by KYKAT 12 23 #
Thank you, Kykat. I too, found it helpful. Am bookmarking the site
Posted 1 year ago by paulajeanne #
Thank you for sharing this.
Posted 1 year ago by AZDEBRA 5/27 & crew #
April 19th will be three years since losing my mother to cancer. I can't go to the mother's day church service anymore, I cry inconsolably. A couple of months ago I was having a very hard time with a bunch of things coming at me all at once. I dozed off one afternoon and woke suddenly at the sound of my mother's voice reassuring me. For a nanosecond it was real. That story kind of reminded me of that, the joy of seeing her mom's name on her e-mail, even if it lasted less than a second. I have so many things in common with that story. Reading it made me feel better because someone else can articulate exactly how I feel. It's strange but that story gives me more comfort than people saying "at least she's not suffering anymore". I'm so glad you found that Kykat, Thank You for posting.
I know this may sound ridiculous but,reading it caused me to cry over the loss of my mother. She passed away back in 1985. I still miss her & at so many times & I still grieve.
A big part of me died when she did. And when she left, I took a completely different road than I thought I would.
Thank You KyKat for sharing this. I could really feel the emotions of her writing.
I found her articulation of what it physically feels like to grieve so spot on and her statements that the "5 steps" aren't at all accurate on-point as well. With my losses there has been no denial, bargaining or anger. It has been acceptance with pining and a bit of depression. There is no denying I lost my brother and mom, no one to bargain with and no one to be angry at. I just miss them being physically present and am so sad about never being able to pick up the phone and just chat with them, not having them there at family holidays, no more hugs, no more goofy IM's from my brother. I lost my sister 17 years ago. I know oh to well the reality of gone forever and the impact that has on all of our lives
All that being said, reading these essays is helping me. I will read all of them and probably cry with each one. I hope they help anyone else out there who has been struggling with a loss.
Posted 1 year ago by KYKAT 12 23 #
Aw, Kykat...hugs for you. Thank you for the helpful link too. Although the last of siblings as bro passed 3+ years ago I still miss the connection to my immidiate family too, esp my sis Sue over 7 years ago. My extended family of cousins, Aunts & Uncles are a wonderful reminder of what "family" means but still not quite the same.
My mother died when she was 48. Her name was Emma Louise and we all loved her dearly, but the polio that she suffered from was stronger even than her great heart.
I can tell myself "at least she is not suffering," but the real consolation is that she is now in the presence of Our Lord.
My darling mother will always be missed, but who are we to call her back from the Beatific Vision?
Where she is now, there is only joy.
My mother's best friend told me that she and my mom talked a lot about their eventual deaths. Helen said she reminded mom that Heaven has no address and that if God is all encompassing then heaven is the same. She wouldn't be "going away" she would just be in spirit form, but all around.
Posted 1 year ago by KYKAT 12 23 #
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