*This is a very tragic, horrible event I will be describing. I don't want to upset anyone, so please don't read this if you don't think you can handle it. I am so sick, it hurts to type this out but I need to talk to someone who understands.*
My mom has MS. She has had kitties all of her life, my pop pop was a huge animal lover and she and I are as well. We lost our Muffin a year ago this April. He lived a long full life, got sick at about 15 years, and I had to take him to be put to sleep when he stopped eating and drinking completely. I will miss my baby forever, the pain will never go away completely and though I knew I was doing what was best for him, taking him to be put to sleep was truly the hardest thing I ever had to do...until yesterday.
Last Christmas, my mom's boyfriend told me he wanted me to adopt a kitten for her as a surprise. I searched craiglist and found a foster mom through the ASPCA. I went and adopted this adorable little gray kitten; he looked like a Russian Blue. I brought him over, my mom fell in love with him and we named him Teddy Bear. He quickly became the light of their lives, her boyfriend said he was like the little boy he never had and the first cat he ever loved. They were always laughing, he was quite a funny character, and also a love bug.
Then yesterday, I got the call. My mom said "Renee you have to get over here right now! I think Teddy is dead! I didn't know he was in the dryer!" I sped over there as fast as I could, but when I got there and went in, there he was, on top of the dryer...gone. I gave him a kiss and went to comfort my mom. My poor mother said she tried to pour water into his mouth to revive him because she didn't know what else to do. All she kept saying was that she killed him, it was her fault, Doug (her boyfriend) will never forgive her and she will never forgive herself. I tried my hardest to comfort her and convince her it wasn't her fault...it could have happened to anyone, she didn't know...
What was I going to do? I said I would take care of everything, I didn't want my mother or Doug to have to do it. I called his vet's office and spoke with the receptionist who told me she has actually heard of this happening a lot and that I could bring him by to be cremated.
When Doug came home shortly after I arrived, I made my way back to the laundry room. I didn't want him to see his kitten that way...it was awful that my mom had to. I got up all my courage and put a towel over him. Then I slowly picked up his limp body and placed him into a box...his "house" as we called it...he loved that box.
I asked Doug for some cleaning supplies, and got to work...he said they would just throw the dryer out, but I knew that wouldn't be happening right away and I couldn't leave it that way. There was so much blood...I scrubbed it and scrubbed it. I threw out all of the rags, the clothes from the dryer, then went through the apartment and collected all of his things. I hated throwing them away but knew my mother wouldn't be able to bare the sight of them. Then I took Teddy Bear, in his house, to the vet's office crying the whole way there. After all, less than a year ago I was the one who had brought him into their lives and now I was the one taking him out. That poor baby.
Now he's gone. I tried to stay strong while I was at my mom's, but I have been a wreck every aching moment outside of there. He was so young, just shy of a year old, and had so much life in him. He brought so much life and love into their home and into their lives. Into our lives.
I do NOT blame her. She has MS and it affects the way she thinks things through sometimes. This tragedy has even happened to people who don't have a disability. I never should have adopted a kitten for her, I should have adopted an adult cat, people warned me, it was a stupid, selfish thing to do. I missed Muffin and I was excited to have a kitten around again. But she would have done better with a young adult cat...I know I can't blame myself, but I was planning on being there yesterday, if I had been there none of this would have happened. Over and over again I see him in my mind. His sweet little face, and then the way he died, he must have suffered so and for what reason?! Why did this have to happen to him?!
I cry hysterically for him. Then I think of my poor mother and how I don't know if she will ever get over this and I cry for her. And then Doug, one of the kindest, gentlest people I have ever known, who loved this kitten so much, and wept for him...I can't stomach any of it and I don't know how I ever will.
