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Mum's Surgery

(52 posts)
  • Started 4 years ago by MadcatwomanintheUK
  • Latest reply from artistabobbi TX 1/17

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  1. I've just realised I've accidentally misled my fellow TDKers - Mum has gone into hospital today, but isn't actually having her surgery until Monday. She's on Warfarin (don't know if this has the same name abroad, but it's a blood thinning drug which Mum's on following a blood clot on her lung 2 years ago) - and they have to wean her off it, and monitor her clotting levels before any surgery can go ahead. They then have to put her back on Warfarin, and stabilise her again before she can be sent home.

    So - she's in. Now, I don't know if many of you are familiar with our NHS - National Health Service - suffice to say it's a bit of a mess. It's understaffed, overmanaged and underfunded - not a very healthy combination. I'm already midst a complaint with the local NHS Trust regarding my Mum's care, treatment and subsequent discharge from her long stay earlier this year, so my expectations of the NHS are understandably not very high. However, even I am staggered by the speed at which things seem to have started going wrong this time around.

    I left Mum at the hospital just after 1 - we'd got to the ward at 11, and had been in Mum's room, going through the admissions paperwork with the various nursing staff since 11.30. I phoned her at 6.30 this evening. She was STILL waiting for a jug of water and a glass. Not only that, but she was being left to sort out her own medication. This is a woman who hasn't self medicated at home for nearly a year - several of her tablets have changed in that time, and she's not overly familiar with some of the brands. I sort all of her tablets out for her into daily medidose packs, and the social services carers actually give her the medication. I hadn't taken the medidose packs into the hospital, as they specifically requested tablets should be taken in in their original packaging.

    So - I rang the ward direct. Would you believe they've been having issues with the hospital kitchens all day, and have about 20 patients without water jugs? And that it was only then that they asked me if Mum self medicated at home? I would have told them she didn't straight off earlier if I'd thought they'd leave her to it, but seeing as that's not normally how things are done in hospitals over here, hadn't given it a second thought.

    This has turned into a rant, and I never meant it to, but I'm just so frustrated that what should be BASICS aren't happening. Last time Mum was in hospital, they screwed up her psychiatric medication so badly she had the worst bi-polar breakdown she's had in years. And these people don't have to pick up the pieces, oh no, that's down to me. I could scream.

    Posted 4 years ago by MadcatwomanintheUK #

  2. First: {{{hugs}}}.
    Second: Can you do something about it? If you make an official complain, does it help her or make things worse? Can you or someone you trust spend time with her in the hospital? Could you take her home for the weekend?

    Posted 4 years ago by miu #

  3. First : thanks miu. Hugs needed and much appreciated.

    Second : I have had words with the staff nurse on the ward this evening, and these two issues should at least be sorted out by now. I speak up as I go along - I don't really want to make another official complaint, but will if things don't improve, or anything else happens. And no, she has to stay in hospital, as the only Warfarin substitute they can give her if her levels go bonkers, has to be administered by injection, and she has to have several blood tests a day to monitor how she's doing. I shall be there after work tomorrow, she has a phone and my number if anything else causes concern in the meantime. I was hoping to to be able to take things a little easier with her being in hospital and theoretically being looked after, but that prove to be a somewhat forelorn ambition...

    Posted 4 years ago by MadcatwomanintheUK #

  4. I am so sorry to hear about Mum and the trouble she is having at the hospital. My prayers and thoughts are with you both during this time. Hang in there and I hope someone can give you some help soon. Love, hugs and purrs for you both, Lynn

    Posted 4 years ago by Lynn from PA 6/8 #

  5. MCW: You SHOULD take a little time for yourself now. You need to relax and rely on the staff to do its work properly. Let's hope the hustle in the hospital was a single incident and they have everything under control now.

    Posted 4 years ago by miu #

  6. MCW - Prayers and good thoughts from us all, purrs and headbutts from my "kittykrew".

    Posted 4 years ago by Crazycatman - CA #

  7. MCW, I am so sorry about the hospital situation and the added stress. Its not all wonderful over here either. When my grandmother was in the nursing home she was dropped several times. One of the times she hit her head so hard that it triggered a seizure. Rather than seeing if it was a one time thing, they put her on dilantin, an anti-seizure medication. Then they overdosed her on the dilantin because someone didn't write down that they had given it to her and she got it multiple times in a short period. If my mother hadn't recognized the symptoms of a dilantin overdose and knew the counter, she would have died. The last time they dropped her, she shattered her hip and did pass away. Do what you need to be vigilent and yet still maintain your sanity and health. Sending you prayers and hugs.

    Posted 4 years ago by KYKAT 12 23 #

  8. Ppearson - that's a real horror story, I'm so sorry. Why is it these so called professionals can't do their jobs properly? They get the decent nurses and carers a bad name.

    Thank you and Lynn and and miu for your kind words and prayers. I'm off to bed soon, I intend to take as many headache tablets as I safely can, and zonk out for a good night's sleep. I'll catch up again tomorrow, hopefully with better news. G'night xx

    Posted 4 years ago by MadcatwomanintheUK #

  9. Eek, sorry, that post should have included Crazycatman (I did type it, but it disappeared - bloody technology!)

    Posted 4 years ago by MadcatwomanintheUK #

  10. How rotten for you and for her. Thinking good thoughts for both of you.

    Posted 4 years ago by AnnF #

  11. MCW - you probably won't see this now until you have slept. I understand about Warfarin (my mom is on Coumadin - a blood thinner as she, too, has had blood blots in her lung) and about the injection of the alternative and the monitoring. My heart goes out to you. You, without a doubt, have your hands full. I wish there was something I could do to help. Maintaining my own sanity right now is challenging as well.

    I fully agree with the ineptitude of some nurses and what it does for those who are good and consciencous about what they do.

    I don't know what brand names of meds you have over there, but what I take for headaches (including migraines) is 2 Advil and 2 Extra Strength Tylenol together. Yes, 4 pills. For me, if I take them as soon as I can after the beginning of the onset of the aura, I can pretty much avoid the headache. Doesn't keep me from being exhausted by the migraine the next day, just prevents some of the pain.

    Healing light coming to you my dear. I think we should meet in the middle somewhere... LOL as long as it is on dry land !

    Posted 4 years ago by 2 Popoki #

  12. MCW, I now know where the "mad" comes from. Not the "crazy" definition from your side of the pond, but the "angry" definition from mine. I'd be torqued too, if that was happening to my mom.

    My mother-in-law was in the process of moving back to Mexico 22 years ago and stopped at my brother-in-law's house for a visit. While there, her heart started giving her trouble again (it had been damaged when she was 12 by a bout of rheumatic fever and heart attacks were a regular thing for her--she was one of Dr. Denton Cooley's experimental patients with his artificial heart valve way back in 1970). They took her to the local hospital. My husband was in Hawaii in the Air Force then and was about to leave on a weekend camping trip when he got word she was in the hospital (Hubby and I would not meet for the first time for another year). He was assured by everyone that she'd be OK and to go on the trip (remember, this was 1985--before cell phones).

    When he got back two days later, it turned out everyone he knew on base was looking for him (even though he had left detailed instructions on how to locate him). His mom had passed away the day before. Over the years Hubby and I knew that his brother held a deep grudge against the hospital, but didn't learn why until 10 years later. Turns out that the nurses there stopped all of my mother-in-laws meds cold turkey. Without them, she barely lasted a day. It's just too bad we learned about their malpractice too late to take 'em to the cleaners.

    In a perfect world, MCW, you wouldn't have to be the Quality Control Manager for your mum's stay in the hospital. This is far from a perfect world, though, so keep on top of those "people of questionable birth legitimacy." I'll be praying for you.

    Posted 4 years ago by gatakitty #

  13. Oh, wow, Ginny and ppearson, what a horror story from both of you.
    MCW,
    So sorry for all the ineptitute of those responsible for your Mum. It makes me have second thought about national health care here.
    I can understand your concern.
    You can only hope that things go up from here.
    I am sending positive and healing energy to you and your mum, and that everything works out ok for her.
    Hugs and purrs.

    Posted 4 years ago by artistabobbi TX 1/17 #

  14. MCW, I totally sympathise with your having to help your mom through a medical crisis. It's hard when you have a job that demands you be there every day. Try being hundreds of miles away--that's what I had to do with my father's heart bypass several years ago. The health professionals expected me to come babysit him and my work expected me to get them to deal with him. I felt like a rope in a tug of war. Do you have what we call FMLA-family medical leave act? It allows excused time off from work (no pay unfortunately)to deal with family or personal health time. Maybe you could hire teenagers who babysit to spend some time with her? At least she'd have a glass of water!

    Posted 4 years ago by SharoninAustell46 #

  15. MCW - I feel so bad for what you and your mum are going through. Sending loads of hugs and positive energy to both of you. I do so hope that things improve for your mum!

    As an American, I am really of 2 minds about the NHS.

    On the one hand it does provide some level of health care to everyone - regardless of their financial situation. At the moment, that is not true in the US and a lot of people fall through the cracks. We can see this just among the TDK'ers!

    On the other hand, the quality of care in the NHS can be so iffy it is extremely frightening! My father-in-law had many medical problems in the last years of his life, and I know at least some of them were exacerbated by the NHS!

    Posted 4 years ago by Rubia in CA, 4/28 #

  16. Hello again. Gosh, what a lot of comments to try and respond to!

    To everyone - thanks for your support, it really means a lot.

    Sharon - yes, I can get unpaid time off work, but I have had quite a bit recently, and don't want to push my luck with work; but rather keep it for a *real* emergency. Anyway, they have pretty strict visiting times at (most) UK hospitals, (largely because of superbug infection control - they say) so I couldn't do much more, or indeed hire anyone to be with her - wouldn't really know who to ask anyway. I feel for you over the distance situation when your father was ill - that must have been really difficult.

    Kitten Whisperer (from One Popoki's thread) - I too have a massage booked for Tuesday next week, but thanks for the suggestion!

    Miu - after what I said up there, you'll never guess what the hospital tried to spring on me today - they said they wouldn't be testing her blood again until Sunday (which really bothers me, as the test they have done was within the first 24 hours of her taking her final warfarin dose, so doesn't really prove anything - and I know from previous instances just how bonkers her levels can go once off the drug) - and suggested she might go home until Sunday afternoon!

    Now, given yesterday's debacle, you might be surprised to know that I wasn't best pleased by this - the amount of planning and organising that has to happen prior to her admission, the number of people that have to be advised - plus no chance whatsoever of social services being able to re-start at zero notice (hospitals are meant to give them 48 hours notice) - plus I knew Mum would hate the upheaval of packing up again, only to be back there inside 48 hours - well, undoing all that didn't bear thinking about. Plus, I'm really not convinced home would be saf with her off warfarin, with her history - at least in hospital there's someone there 24/7 if she falls and has a bleed. Plus - I really need a break, even if only a partial one, and without any support from social services, my weekend workload would have been horrendous. So, I said that they neede to keep her in, and they said OK. I then rang Mum, who was completely flustered by the whole business, and, as I had correctly thought, adamant that she wanted to stay put have to to and fro over the weekend.

    When I visited her this evening, all seemed well. Jug : check, glass : check, tablets locked away & being administered : check. Mum a little bored, but OK. I was able to stop there for about an hour, before heading home.

    So here I am, at home, daily headache dispersed (it had been a really tough day at work too, just what I needed), and tapping away online. Feeling a bit down to be honest, think I just need a good night's sleep without a day at work at the end of it.

    Posted 4 years ago by MadcatwomanintheUK #

  17. MCW, hope you will have a good rest; it sounds as if there is nothing else you personally can do for your mum at this time. So take the time to take care of you for right now. Blessings.

    Posted 4 years ago by paulajeanne #

  18. Wishing you sweet dreams... or a very sound sleep. Continued positive and healing energy to you both.

    Posted 4 years ago by 2 Popoki #

  19. I applaud you insisting that your mum be kept in hospital through the weekend. You are not able to take on 'round the clock nursing care for her. That is their job!

    I'm glad you came to TDK and gave us this update. Also glad to know you are continuing to take care of yourself where you can. The massage is a great therapeutic retreat.

    Sleep well tonight, my friend. Prayers, purrs and gentle headbonks coming to you and your mum.

    Posted 4 years ago by Kitten Whisperer #

  20. MCW,
    Thanks for the update.
    I wish we lived closer and could help you in reality, instead of virtual.
    You seem to be taking care of you, and that is important. Maybe a couple of days off work would be good, too.
    Sending healing and positive energy your way.
    Hugs and Purrs.

    Posted 4 years ago by artistabobbi TX 1/17 #

  21. Just a quickie to let you know we're all systems go for Mum's operation tomorrow - she's in quite good spirits, but a little apprehensive. She's on the list for early afternoon, and Chris and I are visiting her tomorrow evening, so I'll have a proper update for you after that.

    Posted 4 years ago by MadcatwomanintheUK #

  22. I'll be praying for you Mum, MCW. Keep us posted.

    Posted 4 years ago by Jo in Blairsville #

  23. My prayers,too, are with you and your Mum,MCW!
    I want to reassure you that you've been doing the Right thing.Doing the Right thing almost never relieves the stress of Ambigiuty that assails us.Your Mum is going to come through this! Sending you and yours a Trans-Atlantic squeeze in 4...3...2...1...0..((((HUG}}}}..there!

    Posted 4 years ago by Tigger #

  24. Good night and beautiful dreams, MCW! (And same to all the other TDKers as well.) I'll pray everything goes well.

    Posted 4 years ago by miu #

  25. MadCatwoman, I just said a prayer for you and your mum to have the peace that passeth understanding; that God guide the surgeons hands and be with every last person to attend to her care before and after.

    Let us know how she is when you can~

    Posted 4 years ago by Catwoman #

  26. {{{hugs}}} to you MCW. You and your mum will be in my prayers for a successful surgery and quick recovery. xx

    Posted 4 years ago by Kitten Whisperer #

  27. Prayers and healing energy to your mom and all involved with the surgery. Peace and comfort to you as well, while you wait during the procedure.

    Posted 4 years ago by 2 Popoki #

  28. Interim report - she's done & OK and fully conscious again - we're off to see her shortly, more when I get back.

    Posted 4 years ago by MadcatwomanintheUK #

  29. YAY!!! step one and two - through the surgery and conscious. Prayers continue.

    Posted 4 years ago by 2 Popoki #

  30. Thanks One Popoki! Prayers back atcha too. xx

    Posted 4 years ago by MadcatwomanintheUK #


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