Daily Kitten Chat Forum » General Chat

61. 

    Julie -- stop. You can "what if" until the cows come home. You can't do more than you are doing. I have been in a similar- yet different - situation with my son. I felt all his acting out (drugs alcohol and trouble with the law) was my fault. "If only" I had done... something and I had a long list of 'somethings', then he would not have done what he did. It took some counseling to realize there was nothing I could have done. His behaviors were his decision.

    Get counseling... for both of you if you wish, but defnitely for yourself. It could open your eyes. Fear of the unknown is getting the better of you right now. Many before you, and many after you, will find a way to support themeselves and their children. It may not include lots of new video games or toys on a regular basis, but it will be a more pleasant home-life.

    As usual... {{HUGS}} and keep us posted.

    Posted 4 years ago by 2 Popoki #

62. 

    My heart goes out to you. It is very difficult to watch a relationship fade as yours has. If I may offer a few observations:

    You mentioned that he is military. Please contact the base chaplin or any of the other organizations that are available to you as a servicemen's wife.

    If you truly suspect that he is sleeping with someone else, stop having sex with him immediately! I would be willing to bet that wherever he is getting it, it is unprotected. And you do not need the STD's and other baggage that comes from his errors in judgment.

    It has already been said and I want to emphasize, tell the kids that what is going on is not their fault. They will need to hear it over adn over again because both of you are their world and children do not see how it could not be their fault.

    Hugs, purrs and headbonks too!

    Networker

    Posted 4 years ago by Networker #

63. 

    Julie you have some sound advice here. Based on what your husband's actions have been, he is just trying to find an excuse to leave. It sounds like he may have already been planning to leave since he so quick to say he will move out at the end of the month (that is less than two weeks away). I think you should start planning your future without your husband. I think it is best for you and the boys to make a clean break and start a new life. It is clear your husband isn't including you in his life and has been lying about a number of things. Start with finding out what your options are for a job and for moving out. I hope you were able to setup a separate bank account and save some money. You mentioned that the base chaplin is not a good source to go to as he has to let the husband know. Does this same chaplin protect only the husband or can he do something to help with this situation? If you can obtain a counselor, that would possibly be someone who can help you with your situation.

    Hugs and purrs to you.

    Posted 4 years ago by SylvesterMiasMomma #

64. 

    I don't know if much has changed, but I remember that armed services folk stuck together - sort of like the 'blue brotherhood' in various police departments. I don't think the chaplain will be much help to Julie.

    Julie, I wish you the best. You're doing the right thing moving on without him. ((hugs))

    Posted 4 years ago by HuddysMama #

65. 

    You've got good advice coming out of your ears Julie...now just a little courage to act on it, and KNOW you're doing the right thing {{hugs}}

    Posted 4 years ago by MadcatwomanintheUK #

66. 

    Julie, nothing is gained in trying to ride a dead horse.

    Aren't you tired of him and the way he treats you?

    What kind of message are your boys receiving from him -- that it's OK to treat a nice lady like crap?

    That itching below your shoulders -- that's where you grow wings. That tickling in your back -- that's your spine.

    Now, get up and FLY!!!!!!

    Posted 4 years ago by Emma #

67. 

    It's time, Julie and all of us are behind you. You have to know this by now. Wishing you the best and please stop being the beating board, mentally and physically. Move on girl. Don't know what else you need to convince you, but send my love and thoughts know that you are in them daily and prayers are said every night. Hugs and Purrs, Mama Lynn

    Posted 4 years ago by Lynn from PA 6/8 #

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