Daily Kitten Chat Forum » General Chat

1. 

   Hi All,

   I have a completely off-topic question for those of you with experience with roommates. A woman in my office is in a situation where she needs to rent a room. I live 5 minutes from the office and she has approached me about renting a room from me. I do have an extra bedroom. However, I had a bad experience renting to a client in January. He brought his son over all the time and it disrupted my home life insanely. I had to take my son out of our own house to get some alone time with him. My other son will be returning from college in a few weeks too, so that will lead to a pretty full house. I don't even know what to charge--I charged my other roommate $400 including utilities. It was NOT worth it with his long showers and constant presence other than waking up and taking a loud shower at 5:30 am before going to work. I could use the extra money, but the last experience did not end up saving me anything when all things were considered. I like my alone time and really would rather not, but she keeps approaching me about it. A few words from those experienced with this would be appreciated.

   Posted 3 years ago by Catwoman #

2. 

   I just want to add that I know a lot of the problem is me! When I come home I want to be alone and have peace and quiet and not have to talk to anyone. The fact that this woman is also a real estate agent in my office means that I am bringing work home. I do a lot of work at home, but it is my choice right now whether to answer the phone in the evenings or not, or answer emails. This was the problem with my client--he would be on the internet on my computer in my office (!!) looking at houses at 9:30 pm, when I came home from leaving the house to get away from him, and want to show me the houses he found.

   Posted 3 years ago by Catwoman #

3. 

   If you prefer to live without a roommate, then continue to do so..it would be even worse if you have to work with this lady every day..Sounds like you already know the answer...just tell her the truth..

   Posted 3 years ago by 2bpurring #

4. 

   You can tell the truth inside out. Say you don't rent because you are a miserable landlord and don't want to jeopardize your relationship (professional and/or personal) by driving her nuts.

   Say clearly that you tried once and will no longer put yourself in the position of landlord under the same roof because you are not a good fit for that responsibility.

   Posted 3 years ago by ailuromaniac #

5. 

   Hi CW - I've had plenty of - mostly bad - experiences with roommates over the years. Mostly it's been because I moved in with people I didn't know beforehand and so I didn't know what to expect. I ended up living with a few crazy people, too. And some of them wanted to hang out, eat dinner together, etc. which I really didn't want after working all day. I just wanted a quiet place to rest and relax.

   How well do you know this woman and her personality? Is she someone who'd party until all hours? Make a lot of noise? Have a bunch of friends over? What's her schedule like - any odd and late/early hrs? It this short or long-term?
   I'd sit down with her and make sure to ask these kinds of questions and more, so you'd know what to expect. You may want to write down a list of house rules, as well, that she'd have to follow.

   As for rent, I don't know the prices in your neck of the wood, but here's what I've paid over the last 5 years or so. One place I had a bedroom and shared a bath - rent was $500 a month plus my third of the electricity (there were three of us). Another place I had a room and shared bath for $450 a month, everything included. Where I am now, I bacically have my own entrance, big room and bath and still only pay $450, which is why I'm still there!
   If I were to rent an apartment in this part of town, rent would be $1000 -$1200 for a one bedroom apartment and then electricity added to that, so the rent makes sense for me right now.
   So try to compare the rent you charge with what she'd be paying if she had to rent an apartment.
   Also, I'd charge a bit more, or at least have her pay for the electricity - summer is coming up - can get expensive running that a/c! Either you'd make more money, or she'd say no, which wouldn't be the end of the world, either.

   Hope this gives you some ideas.

   Posted 3 years ago by GreatDane #

6. 

   I just asked a woman friend who lives in the next neighborhood from me. She has an awesome roommate situation, they are both single women whose children are grown and they sometimes go days without seeing each other. She gave the woman her own bedroom, bath and a bonus room downstairs to use as her living area, and charges $600 a month including utilities. The room I would be renting out is very large and she would have her own hall bath. This would mean that my sons would have to use my bathroom and go through my bedroom to get to it.
   I feel like I am being selfish. Here is a woman in trouble who needs help and I could help her...I would have been in the same situation if my ex had not been good in paying alimony for three years until I got on my feet, and never being late with the child support. I was able to stay in my own home and my mortgage is $1100, less than I would pay to rent something.

   Posted 3 years ago by Catwoman #

7. 

   CW, I lived with a friend from work for 4-5 months about a year ago and we actually had a ball! I had thought about not moving there because I didn't want to feel like I'd have to hang out with her constantly, but it wasn't like that at all. She was busy, and so was I. When she was going out on the weekends, she'd ask if I wanted to come and somethimes I would and we'd have a ton of fun, and other times, I'd just tell her no.

   How's your house set up? Is the room she'd rent in one part of your home that's a bit out of the way?
   Maybe in a list of house rules, specify that she's renting the room and bath and maybe kitchen priviledges - you don't need to let her use your computer, watch your tv etc. The places I've lived, I've set up a tv in my room and the computer, too, as I had no desire to hang out in the rest of the house with everybody when I was off.

   Posted 3 years ago by GreatDane #

8. 

   Don't worry about being selfish - this is your home that you're working hard for. It's not like there aren't other rooms for rent out there for your co-worker to rent if you chose not to rent to her. Just explain that you wouldn't be comfortable renting out a room right now, with your son returning, and all. She'll understand - if not, you wouldn't want to have her living in your home anyway!
   Tell her to look in the classifieds for rooms for rent and roommates wanted. She can also go online and look - even sublet.com has roommate listings now.

   Posted 3 years ago by GreatDane #

9. 

   GD, in my house all of the bedrooms are upstairs. The bedroom I would rent out used to be my oldest son's bedroom, it is at the end of the hall. She would have to walk all the way to our end of the hall to use the bathroom though, and the wall of that bedroom shares a wall with my bathroom.

   I had the problem with the other roommate that he thought he had the run of the entire house. I would be down watching television or playing a board game with my sons and he would come down in his pajamas and join us. I would be working in my office in the quiet of the evening, and he would walk into the living room and start watching some loud sports program. I pointed out to him that there is a cable jack in the bedroom, and he said that he did not have a tv. My house has an open floor plan so there are not a lot of places to get away. Also, with the housing market, there is the possibility that this woman would have to go months without a paycheck, so what if she can't pay? I'm sure it will cause hard feelings if I have to evict her, but I'm not solvent enough to provide housing as charity.

   Posted 3 years ago by Catwoman #

10. 

    Thanks everyone for your helpful advice! GD, you are right--i am not the only place with a spare room. She might be able to find something even closer. Sometimes just talking it thru helps the answer to show itself.

    Posted 3 years ago by Catwoman #

11. 

    CW, I don't think I'd let her move in. But - I mean, that's me. I don't ever want another roommate - I've been in that situation twice and both times it ended badly and I lost two great friendships over it. (Both times my friends ended up in dire financial straits and didn't have the money they were supposed to be paying me. It wasn't their fault, but rent and utilities still had to be paid regardless. I'm generous to a fault with everything but my money.) I said I'd never have a roommate again, and I haven't. Just my $0.02

    Posted 3 years ago by HuddysMama #

12. 

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    The possibilities of this working is so slim... so, so slim my friend that it isn't worth the risk.
    You have been living "alone" for how long? You have your hours to work, your pijama days, your children time, your I'm alone and loving it time... This is very hard to change even if its with the love of your life... so imagine someone you don't know well. Not only that but she is a work mate... someone who also sells houses? In your turf?

    I'm sorry but I don't think it's a good idea, it's not about being selfish, it's about having your space...

    Posted 3 years ago by PipasMumSpain #

13. 

    Definitely put house rules on a piece of paper explaining that she'd be renting a room and bath - not your entire home to use as her own! I'd go nuts having someone wandering around my house like your previous renter did! Arrrrgh!
    As for her paying her rent on time, if you do decide to rent to her, you should have her sign some sort of agreement to pay on the 1st of every month (or whatever you chose) and leave a clause in there that she'd have to move out if she can't pay. I don't know what it's like by you, but here it can take at least 6 months to get someone evicted!!!

    Posted 3 years ago by GreatDane #

14. 

    And - I'd only let her rent if you REALLY need the money! Otherwise, it's not worth the hassle!

    Posted 3 years ago by GreatDane #

15. 

    Even if you put rules I find them useless... because if she breaks them what are you going to do? Send her to jail?

    Posted 3 years ago by PipasMumSpain #

16. 

    CW, I hate being the one to say this but............If you are happy with your current situation and you don't need her money for your own survival, please do NOT rent out this room. These situations rarely work out the way you want them too and in the end you find that the aggravation was never worth it. You may find yourself in a situation soon that dictates you will need the money and you can consider this option at that time. Until that time arrives, please don't feel guilty for not helping this woman. You did not cause whatever situation she is in and you can't SAVE her. She needs to find a permanent residence, not a flopp for the moment.

    Just my two cents worth.

    Posted 3 years ago by debsterwiz #

17. 

    CW, after reading the posts in this thread, it really sounds like there are more con that pros in renting a room to this woman, regardles of her current situation. Just tell her that you aren't comfortable mixing your work life and your home life by having a colleague living in your house with you. Maybe offer to be a personal reference for her with some other landlord (don't offer to co-sign for her though!)

    Posted 3 years ago by kittymom #

18. 

    Also, every other weekend my son goes to his dad's house, and I have the whole house to myself...though I usually work on Saturday, what bliss to stop on the way home and pick up whatever *I* want for dinner...put on music and dance around the house...or read a book into the wee hours. Not to keep harping on my old roommate, but he brought his son to spend every weekend--without asking me! So instead of having my weekend alone, another kid was in the house playing in my son's room, forlorn that my son wasn't there...the dad would walk in with his kid and say to me, "Where's Jake?" because he assumed that my son would alwaysd be available for his kid to play with. Near the end, right before I threw him out, he brought the kid over at 11:20 pm, walked into my office and asked, "Where's Jake?"

    Posted 3 years ago by Catwoman #

19. 

    Arrrrrrrgh at ex-roommate - what nerve!

    Posted 3 years ago by GreatDane #

20. 

    I've already told her gently that I am a bad landlord, that my house is often messy due to the amount of hours at work, that I have 7 cats and a dog, that she would have to keep her door closed or my cats will pee on her belongings, that I am so cheap that I keep the air conditioner set at "barely bearable," that I air-dry my clothes to save from using the dryer...she still keeps asking when we can "talk."

    You guys made some excellent points. Us working together precludes us from being roommates. If 6 months from now I need one, I will find someone who has a totally separate life, steady job, grown or no children, no drama and keep it a professional relationship.

    Posted 3 years ago by Catwoman #

21. 

    I think I agree with Pipa's Mum. No more alone time...for certain...No more assurance that work won't walk through the door...and when your son comes home from college to visit will he'd have to sleep on is the couch because he doesn't have a space that he calls his anymore? If you really don't need the money I wouldn't turn your world upside down because you feel a need to help this woman. What's her personal life like? Does she have children? Hobbies that may include cello or fiddle playing at night? I think I'd opt for no surprises. Especially if her income is so iffy. Hard feelings come from unpaid debts and you'd have to listen to her moans and groans if and when a financial hardship came upon her.

    Posted 3 years ago by Karenopa #

22. 

    Four words-- I DON'T THINK SO!!

    Having been a landlord, I know one's peace of mind is worth so much more!!

    Posted 3 years ago by MaxandCali'sMom #

23. 

    Catwoman, just my .02. You don't have enough bathrooms to make it feasible. With only two bathrooms in the house, you need one and your boys don't need to be giving up theirs. If she just needed a place for two weeks, that would be different, that is like having a visitor whom you know is going away on a specific date, but an open ended roommate would not be good for your mental health. Has she looked at extended stay hotels? Residence Inn is expensive, but Extended Stay America and others are fairly reasonable. Yes she will be living next to construction crews and the like but it is a roof over her head that is hers.

    Posted 3 years ago by KYKAT 12 23 #

24. 

    You're right, MMM--I could always pick up more hours with Lancome if times get harder. I'd rather work more hours and be alone.

    Karen, my son returning from college would have his old room. The one I was going to rent out had belonged to my oldest son. That's another thing--his financial situation is pretty bad and he may end up moving back in himself.

    Posted 3 years ago by Catwoman #

25. 

    KYKAT, you are absolutely right! But I feel so selfish saying that I want my own bathroom to myself! THe house I grew up in had only one for the whole family. I never lived in a house with more than one before I moved to Georgia. Now I have gotten used to there being one for the boys and one for me. I never even look in the boy's bathroom unless company is coming over! There is a half-bath downstairs off the kitchen but of course, that doesn't help with showers.

    Posted 3 years ago by Catwoman #

26. 

    I would say "NO". I am sorry that I let my nephew stay w/ me and now my parents. He said he would help me move things(barely),pay rent(can't be bothered to find a job) and he considers me his own personal therapist and he is dragging me down. He's a user. I thought that he would appreciate the bail out but apparently he thought he was entitled to it,acts like a child and is eating us out of house and home. I should've let him find his own way but no I had to bail him out. I should've wondered when even his parents weren't doing anything....
    Sorry for the rant but we can't save everybody but like Deb said she needs to find a permanent residence or with the economy she and you will be stuck together.And you will be supporting her.
    Guard your happy home and peaceful homelife. She can find some place else.

    Posted 3 years ago by Buttercup #

27. 

    CW, don't do it. I think you and your boys being home at times, you will value your time alone even more. The biggest consideration is that what with the housing market being so unpredictable means she might not have a paycheck for several months, do you want the hassel of having her in your home without being able to contribute to the cost of having another person in the house? One last mention - you are bringing your personal life into the office if you bring this woman who is your co-worker into your home as a roommate.

    Just enjoy the time you have with your boys and the time you have alone and as you mentioned, you can always ask for more hours at Lancome.

    Only you can make the decision.

    Posted 3 years ago by SylvesterMiasMomma #

28. 

    HI CW - It sounds like you've made your decision! I agree with everyone else - it would NOT be a good idea in any way, shape or form to rent to this woman. Just from the point of view of meeting your own and your sons' needs it would not work out. And that is not even considering all the unknowns that sharing your house with this woman would bring.

    Best to help her out by helping her to find another place! ;-)

    Posted 3 years ago by Rubia in CA, 4/28 #

29. 

    Quick comment... I don't really have room, and my son is also in financial straights. His comment to me when I hinted at suggesting he come stay with me for a while: "Mom, I like you too much to live with you again." Great answer !!!

    Posted 3 years ago by 2 Popoki #

30. 

    Catwoman, if you want to be alone, you want to be alone. I would say that. It's true and indisputable. This is life AND it is not your responsibility to house this woman even though you have a room and live nearby. Elizabeth (who likes to live alone with the exception of Cato)

    Posted 3 years ago by Cato1730 #

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