Hello,
I am looking for some advice on how to get a stray cat to let me touch her? There is a beautiful black and white cat (I think its a girl)thats suddenly started to appear in the shared back garden area. Her white is a bit dirty, and she is shy of people, but not terrified - she won't let you get close but doesn't totally run away either. And she stopped when i spoke to her and just stared at me. The neighbours and I have been putting food out for her, and she always seems very hungry, she is straight into the bowl when you step back, and she sometimes trembles slightly when she eats, as if she is starving. She isn't a kitten and she isn't very skinny, and I'm not sure that she's a total stray as she clearly knows people and is relying on us for food. I really want to be able to check her over for any injuries, but she is too scatty just now. So any advice on what I can do?
Daily Kitten Chat Forum » Cats & Kittens
Stray Cat
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Hi Metsa, all I can suggest is patience and gentle calming talk without reaching out to her yet. Let her become trusting of you, trying to touch her may not be the right thing. She'll let you know what she wants and when.
Posted 3 years ago by Moonshadow_NZ #
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I agree with MS. Patience and quietness may be all you can do right now. As she eats, sit down (closer to her level...she may be intimidated by your being so much bigger than she) and talk quietly to her. You'll have to gain her trust before reaching out for her.
Posted 3 years ago by LadyKat of IA #
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metsa, it takes time and lots of patience, gentle movements and she/he still may never let you touch him/her. I had a patio kitty come to my house for the last 2.5 years, and it was just in the last two months that he would touch my hand with his head and then draw it back....he was totally feral and unfortunately I think something may have happened to him in the last two weeks as I haven't seen him at all. I have fed a colony of ferals for the last year and while they get close (within a foot or two) they still won't let me pet them. It all depends on the kitty and their trust levels. Tonight when I went to feed them there was a homeless gentleman sitting where I usually feed the colony and they didn't know what to do. They wanted to approach but didn't know him and were quite unsure, finally talked to them and put their food down a little bit away from the normal spot and they did finally approach to eat. Didn't want to make the homeless guy move but yet didn't want to upset their routine, it all worked out.
Posted 3 years ago by AZDEBRA 5/27 & crew #
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Metsa, the others who have posted have given you great advice.
It sounds like she may have become a stray early on, not a true feral. But cats who've been around people before becoming a stray may have not had great experiences with people. It can be hard to regain their trust.
It will take time and many repeat feedings before she may come to you. No sudden movements. Gentle talking may be okay, but if she looks scared when you do it, just sit silently. Try not to stare too hard at her; cats consider that behavior hostile or a prelude to an attack. Instead, when she's not looking at you, observe her eating, drinking, and gait. If she has a good appetite, eats normally, and walks normally, chances are she's not seriously ill, though she could certainly be a carrier for a disease that's not full-blown.
The shaking you're noticing could be fear. Nervous cats or conflicted cats often tremble a bit; certainly cold cats tremble, too.
Only time and repeated, non-threatening experiences with you will help her overcome her fear, and learn to trust you. Be patient, and understand that the reason she's behaving the way she does is because it's been crucial to her survival. Learning to trust people is risky, but her hunger is stronger than her fear. Some of her fear will continue to dissipate, but she may never be comfortable with you touching her.
Posted 3 years ago by anncetera2 #
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Metsa, we had a kitty like you describe show up at our house. Very afraid at first but Blackberry was slowly won over by repeated feeding, water, a shelter (we actully bought a small igloo dog house for him) and quiet sitting near him. It took us six months of that before he would allow brief petting and another two months before we got him in a carrier (food is a good motivator) so we could get him to a vet. We had him fixed and brought him inside to recover, he never wanted to go back outside again! He died earlier this year but we were so happy to give him a couple of good comfy years at the end of his lifetime.
Posted 3 years ago by DancingCatHill #
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It's all been said, but my Nala who was feral until I caught her at 6 months old, still is nervous about being petted for very long.
Posted 3 years ago by Sheba's Mom in Phoenix, AZ 10/8 #
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Anncetera, do you think the homeless guy saw the empty food trays and was hoping to eat some of the cat food?
Posted 3 years ago by SylMiaFelixMomma #
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Thank you for your advice and thanks Mui and Karenopa :). Like everyone here, I'd do anything to help any kitty I could and the look she gave me, such a mixture of fear and hope, just really made me want to make her world right again. I'll keep trying to feed her and talk to her and see what happens. I'll let you all know if I do get any closer to her :).
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If you're convinced she's a stray Metsa, you could try contacting your local Cats Protection League. Undoubtedly they'll have a waiting list to take her into a shelter a rehome her, but as it's summer and you/others are feeding her that's not too much of a problem. They have traps and will help you if you ask.
Posted 3 years ago by MadcatwomanintheUK #
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SMM, it's possible, but there are all kinds of possible reasons for that particular spot to be chosen. I really hope the homeless guy is able to get some help. Metsa, perhaps you could get some info on a homeless shelter, soup kitchen, etc. to give to him, or leave for him?
(Do be cautious, if you do this; a significant number of people currently homeless are also mentally ill. Most of them pose no harm to others, but some might, whether intentional or unintentional.)
Posted 3 years ago by anncetera2 #
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If you guys are talking about the homeless guy sitting where I normally feed my feral colony, he was just sitting there drinking his 40oz of beer and relaxing. There are a lot of homeless people who have mental issues here in Tucson.
Posted 3 years ago by AZDEBRA 5/27 & crew #
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Understood, AZD. When I travel south, I tend see more homeless folks in general, especially during the winter. (Might have to do with wanting to avoid freezing to death.)
Posted 3 years ago by anncetera2 #
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When I've had fearful strays start venturing in my backyard I would noisily put out their food bowl and sit down in the yard and read a book or something. I would act nonchalant when the cat would feed.As the days/weeks passed I might move a little closer and or say something to them and let them get used to my voice.And so on and so on.After a while when they are used to me talking and moving my arms I would put my hand down and continue to read or whatever and most of the time if they're not feral but a fearful house pet they will get closer and closer wanting to be petted. Some would take more time after that to be caught but a few were just so happy to find someone to pet them again that they would try to follow me into the house and would howl piteously outside until I went out to get them. I guess they were afraid of losing their human again.
Good luck,it's quite rewarding. :)
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