I have just seen this email, read all the posts, and shed a few tears over the beautifully written and heartfelt messages to you Lisa. When my kitty Whiskers died, I felt very guilty over certain things and beat myself up over how I should have taken care of her better with regular vet visits, done more for her in providing her with better cat food and toys and not have neglected her so much (she was left alone alot due to my working a lot of overtime) and when I was home I was on that darn computer instead of playing with her or just spending time with her. In the last six years of her life she showed me such unconditional love that I now am very thankful for that experience. I try to think more of that instead of what I should have done for her. It has been three years since she died and I miss her as much as the day she died. I know in my heart I will see her again when it is my time to leave this earthly domain. Sending you Lisa, a huge bear hug.
Daily Kitten Chat Forum » Purrs
Total Bob Meltdown
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Posted 3 years ago by SylMiaFelixsMomma #
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It always amazes me how just the littlest things will trigger memories. There will be many more, but take the memory out and treasure it, polish it, and then put it away for another day. And balance the tears with a smile for all the good times.
Posted 3 years ago by paulajeanne #
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We're so lucky to have things to love: our biological families, of course, but even more important are our families of faith, of friendship. Groups of people who share with each other and who are knit together by a loving-kindness and affection. And of course, our pets.
We pay a price for love, but it is worth it. Not to love, not to have anyone or any creature to love -- oh, my God, what a barren existence!
Lisa, Ruggles and Rotley are coming through the worm hole tonight to stay with you and your babies for the evening. Ruggles has his wicker basket with the French roast lattes and chocolate-dipped biscotti, and Rotley is bringing a basket with home-grown catnip, lemon-poppy seed scones, and some of his toys. Ruggles is the "kissy boy" and Rotley is a prime shoulder snuggler, and they told me that they MUST go see Auntie Lisa TONIGHT.
I can't stop them. They insisted.
Please shove those two furry little brats through the worm hole in the morning, and know you have all our love and prayers.
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Lisa..Every emotion and gentle support here is heartfelt by all. My tears fall with you and for you as well. My Abby has only been away for 2 mos. now and this morning I again felt the sting of her absence so strongly I wept. Smile for the love you shared and gave freely...you know it's not fair to beat yourself up. We'd have to be perfect to avoid making mistakes and there are no do overs so we carry our pain until we set it down and pick it up for someone else. Suddenly it disappears if only for awhile. I'll carry yours if you carry mine. {{{hugs}}}
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Lisa, I promise it will get better! I've had many wonderful cats in my life, but my special one was RT (there is always one who is the special cat, even though you love them all). Maybe it is because she was my first cat (when I was an adult). Maybe it is because she was the only cat I ever had as a kitten. Whatever the reason, we connected in a way that I have never known with another cat. She has been gone almost 3 years now and I still miss her terribly. As you have noticed, little things can just set you off. The grief is still there, but now I think much more often about the happy times with her than I do about the end, when she was ailing. Sometimes I even dream about her - always happy dreams - and then I feel like she really has visited me. I'm grateful that she was part of my life, and I'm sure that you feel that way about Bob too. I'm sad because she is gone, but it would have been more sad never to have known her. I think the saying goes like this: "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened".
P.S. I find that writing about each cat after they pass has really helped me. When you write about all their funny habits, or cute things that they did, or lessons that they taught you, it brings back and makes clear all of the good memories. Bob was a hero cat. There are too few heroes in this world, and I'm glad you got to meet (and know and love) a true hero.
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Thank you everyone. You've given me a total perspective shift. I can't promise I won't ever need it again. But at least for now I can give up my selfish need for Bob to the greater good.
No, I wouldn't want to think of him distressed by my grief. He'd head-bonk himself cross-eyed trying to make it all better. And the outdoors *is* where he was most majestic. I can see him now sitting high in a tree surveying his little kingdom and watching over his harem with the deepest look of pride on his face.
But then he'd come inside and throw off his crown and robes and turn into a baby with no care except which got scratched first, belly or back.
I was blessed he picked me out of all the moms in the world. I wouldn't take anything for my time with him. It was so much longer than I expected. I just wanted it to last forever. I know you all know what I mean.
I'm better now. What sweet words. Thank you.
2pop, caring for others is healing. My door is open always.
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Lisa,
I was given this vision and felt I had to write this:
*A huge furry calico slips in through the wormhole with a piece of paper for you. On the piece of paper is a single paw print and the words, "I love you, Mommy." C.C. gently carries the paper over to you and offers it to you. The Calico's green eyes gaze softy up at you with love and warmth as she delivers the note from Bob. As you take the note, C.C. jumps up into her lap and delivers a snuggle from Bob as well. The calico stays for a few moments purring loudly and gently to comfort you before going back through the wormhole to the rainbow bridge*Posted 3 years ago by owlwatcher_974 #
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Dear Lisa,
The lads watched the birds this evening, wolfed down their dinners, and then packed their baskets and thermoses and toys and cuddle blankets. They are headed your way right now through the worm hole. My boys can always be spared for you, sweetheart.
The French Vanilla lattes are in the ivory thermos and Ruggles' basket also holds some strawberry shortcakes with cream just for you, along with some lovely linen napkins with lace edges. Ruggles insists that you are the most lady-like Auntie, and he picked out those napkins "all by himself."
Rotley's basket is packed with nip and toys, and also some soft little pillows for CJ and Misty to tuck behind you when you are tossing and turning at night. He also has cuddle blankets at the bottom of the basket, and his own green thermos of "catnip tea" to share with your divas.
And they are bringing all of our love for you with them tonight.
Sleep well, dear. You will have all the furry guardians watching over you tonight.
Rest.
Love,
Emma -
Wow, OW and Emma...Lisa may you find great comfort in their beautiful words.
Posted 3 years ago by Tigerlilly #
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What else could I possibly need? I'm taking my perfect note, my bundle of kitties and all our goodies, and going to picnic in bed. We're going to have a contest to see who can purr the loudest. Emma and OW, thank you for knowing exactly what I needed. You practically read my mind. I feel better today both physically and mentally. Anticipating a restful--but fun!--night. I love you all to pieces...Lisa
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**Ruggles and Rotley stare at the bird feeder and the feathered lunch crowd**
"Auntie Lisa liked my napkins, Rotley."
"And Misty and CJ enjoyed the tea. Quit gloating about the napkins. I saw them on-line."
"'Kay."
**long silence**
"Will she be OK?"
"Yes."
"Can we go back to visit her again?"
"Ruggles, you are such a doofus! Of course!"
"I like her so much."
"Me, too, kiddo."
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*Yawn, stretch, crack of knuckles...*
Well, I did keep the boys (and CJ, Misty conked out) up a bit late. We started playing chase-the-mousie-on-the-stick. CJ got more than rowdy on the catnip and the next thing we knew she was riding the ceiling fan. (She's still lounging, stretching, licking.)
We all had a second go at the treats just as the sun was coming up...and yes, I *did* love the napkins! We are girly girls around here and it's so nice to have some boys come visit. Everything is better after R&R have been here.
Thanks, Emma, for sharing your precious boys with us! You've "raised 'em right" as they say back in Eylau. Their manners are impeccable, while still being more fun that a barrel of...well....you know!......We love you! Come back soon!!! Lisa, Misty & CJ.
PS: the boys also got to meet Mia and Tex!
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Lisa, I'm sorry that I haven't posted to this thread before. You know that you have my love, prayers and good thoughts always. If you EVER need some one to talk to, cry with, or just listen, email me at johnandterri352 at yahoo dot com.
Posted 3 years ago by BCAMflorida227 #
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Lisa,
Again I felt compelled to write ... I struggled with the words, wanting them to be perfect -- but the image in my head was crystal clear and I knew I had to share this with you...*The sleek back cat lounges in the soft green grass, his eyes closed as he soaks up the bright sunshine and enjoys the gentle breeze. Butterflies of all colors flutter just above where the tailless cat is relaxing, one or two of them landing on the brilliant white flowers poking out of the tall grass just a few feet away. Bob turns his head and opens his yellow eyes in response to his name being called, and a camera takes a picture.
A wormhole opens up and a tabby cat slinks into the room carrying a picture. The cat looks around for you and makes her way toward you gently offering you the photograph. The camera has managed to capture every detail of Bob's sleek black fur set off by the green grass surrounding him. The crystal blue sky and brilliant sunlight bring out the colors in the gorgeous cat's yellow eyes. One can almost see him purring. It is truly a picture of total relaxation and contentment. On the back of the picture is a single paw print... Bob has signed his picture for you with love.
Pepper purrs loudly and jumps into your lap to gaze at the picture with you. She stays for a while to comfort you with loud purrs and gentle snuggles before going back through the wormhole to return to the Rainbow Bridge.*
Posted 3 years ago by owlwatcher_974 #
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OW, your last post was so very sweet. You captured the essence of Bob perfectly. I think maybe you *have* had a few glimpses of life on the other side. One thing Bob could do better than anyone else was lounge. He could shut down all systems and go into a sleep so deep...well, I used to wonder what he dreamed about. Thank you so much for sharing your vision of my boy.
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I do, sweet Emma, I do! And, none of you are ever very far from my mind, My mom says I talk about you all like you live next door. I think I'm still just astonished by this much unconditional acceptance.
I feel the marginalization of grief very acutely when it comes to Bob. If it weren't for you and OW and everyone else from TDK who has ever lost a furbaby, I would have cracked like an egg a long time ago.
Where am I ever going to find a another cat that loves me like he did? I think about how his face crumbled to contentment when he heard my voice, and how his purr rumbled out loud in a room, and the way he'd sleep on his back with those four humongous paws in the air like a petitioning angel...and if I stroked him in his sleep, he'd purr without waking up...and there I fall apart all over again.
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Oh Lisa, I still fall apart at times when I think about my sweet Sebastian. She was my confidante and my soul. She helped me though such dark and ugly times. It's been a little over 3 years and I still see her face. The cloud will lift and there will be another furbaby that climbs right into your heart. You were blessed for the time you had with Bob and you felt a love like no other. He will always be with you.
((hugs))Posted 3 years ago by cricketsmama #
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Lisa, you probably won't find another cat that loves you the *same* - as much yes, but not the same - Titch used to headbut my face and curl up with under the duvet; none of our three/four do that, but Button, for example will curl up with me on the sofa or sleep on (yes on!) my head - Titch never did that. The love is equal, the way it's displayed will vary from cat to cat, but never be any the less endearing. {{hugs}}
Posted 3 years ago by MadcatwomanintheUK #
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