Daily Kitten Chat Forum » TDK Cafe

1. 

   Yesterday, I cooked barbecue for the very first time (I'm 37). It was less than a good experience: I used a nice rub recipe (from a cookbook) that was similar to a rub my mom uses on her ribs, I mopped my ribs using a mop liquid that was almost identical to what my mom used, I dressed up some bottled barbecue sauce with what was left of the mop liquid, and I had hoped for melt-in-your-mouth, fall-off-the-bone ribs. Then I decided to involve the menfolk.

   What was I thinking?

   Pseudohusband decides to fill the grill almost to the cooking grate with charcoal, when all I needed was a modest pyramid of coals to deliver low and slow heat to my ribs and chicken. Stepson #3 soaks the coals in enough lighter fluid to blow up Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, the lower peninsula of Michigan, eastern Wisconsin, and western Pennsylvania. While the briquettes are ablaze, punching yet another hole in the ozone layer, he adds more gas - its a miracle the grill didn't melt. I then brought the meat out when I saw only red-hot briquettes and no flames.

   Thank God I didn't have hot dogs on the grill that day, or they would've been fricasseed in 20 femtoseconds (a femtosecond is one quadrillionth of a second; I wouldn't have had time to take them out of the bag before they would've been burnt to a crisp)! I had just put the ribs and the chicken legs and thighs on the grill when I noticed hell flames charring my meat blacker than my granddad (and Granddad was not a light-skinned man!). I had to pour my cup of iced tea on the coals just to keep everything from burning to a crisp.

   I then hoped that after a bit of cooking at twice the temperature of the Sun, I could sauce up the meat and hope the sauce would compensate for the scorched exterior of the meat. Not so much; it got just as scorched as the meat. At least Stepson #3 grilled some vegetables in aluminum foil and put some ears of corn on the grilled just as it was almost time to eat. I was so ashamed of how my barbecue turned out I almost lost my appetite, but the men ate it like they hadn't eaten in centuries. I guess I learned two lessons yesterday:
   1. Men will eat anything, and
   2. There was a damn good reason why my mother had me make deviled eggs, potato salad, cole slaw, fruit salad, and dessert while she womanned the grill.

   Any suggestions on how to make my next barbecue better, other than ordering ribs from a rib restaurant?

   Posted 3 years ago by Vicki #

2. 

   ROFLMAO!!! Sorry for the disaster, but that story (from the safety of far away Clifornia) was a HOOT!
   I got no suggestions, Vicki...I'm sure there will be lots! Thanks again for the visuals *wipes tears from eyes while still laughing*

   Posted 3 years ago by linda #

3. 

   Cook them at a low temperature in the oven first. Take them out to the grill and baste with BBQ sauce. Leave on just long enough for the BBQ sauce to heat up. Much more likely to melt in your mouth!

   You tell a great story, Vicki!! lol

   Posted 3 years ago by Kitten Whisperer #

4. 

   Oh Vicki...first, don't blame yourself, well maybe for letting the menfolk near the BBQ, but other than that, I'm sure you would do fine on your own..I like to put just a few coals in my BBQ and lots of wood, tree branches ect. and no lighter fluid...it really helps with the taste, but takes a while longer to get going.

   Posted 3 years ago by 2bpurring #

5. 

   Oh Vicki, what a visual. Thought I smelled smoke here in PA, but couldn't find the fire!!! KW has a good idea for cooking ribs. I cook mine in foil with ice cubes over indirect heat, basting with bbq sauce at the end. I am sure your next time will be fine. Just don't let the men help!!! Thanks for the laugh.

   Posted 3 years ago by Lynn from PA 6/8 #

6. 

   Well, I would have waited to put the sauce on until they were almost done. (I never bbq with sauce unless somebody asks me for it). And really, you probably really could have done without their help - lol.

   Posted 3 years ago by HuddysMama #

7. 

   ROFLMAO at the visual, Vicki! No wonder I smelled a bit of butane lighter fluid last night.

   My father always used newspaper and kindling (thin pieces of wood) to start his charcoal fire. It would take a good while for the charcoal to get to the stage where he would cook the food. He used some sort of round shaped metal thing with a bottom to put a few of the charcoal in with the wood and paper and then I think once they got going, he added it to the rest of the charcoal. I don't remember how long but I am guessing around an hour and half from start to finish. We have never used the lighter fluid as it messes with the taste of the food. My Dad would cook steaks or marinated salmon along with corn on the cob and other vegies...yummy! I am starting to salivate just thinking of it. He hasn't done the BBQ in about eight or so years now. Too much trouble and at age 75, I guess he doesn't want to be bothered about it anymore.

   Posted 3 years ago by SylMiaFelixMomma #

8. 

   Oh, Vicki! What a shame. Well, step number one would be keepin' the menfolk away from the grill. Step two is marinating the ribs in something overnight. (Most of the flavor will cook out, so it may not matter much what you use, but anything that's acidic will help tenderize the meat. Wine is good; so is beer.)

   If you want a dry rub, apply it before wrapping the ribs tightly in foil. Cook on low, slow heat; when done, go ahead and apply BBQ sauce and grill for maybe 10 minutes longer. Serve with additional BBQ sauce.

   Posted 3 years ago by anncetera2 #

9. 

   Linda, on Eddie Murphy's first comedy album, he told a story about his uncle Gus, the family pyromaniac who had to turn every family barbeque into an Aggie Bonfire. You sure pseudohubby isn't related to him?

   Take it from the Barbeque Queen: what you need is indirect heat. We have a smoker that looks like a 55 gallon oil drum lying on its side, with an attached chamber for holding the coals that looks like one of those institutional-sized cans you see at Wal-mart or Sam's. It looks very much like this: http://www.homedepot.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?storeId=10051&productId=100327576&langId=-1&catalogId=10053&PID=500871&cm_mmc=CJ-_-nextag-_-D28X-_-100327576&cpncode=12-65384531-2&URL=http://www.homedepot.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/BuildLinkToHomeDepot?linktype=product&id=100327576&cm_mmc=CJ-_-nextag-_-D28X-_-100327576&AID=10368321&cj=true&srccode=cii_9324560

   This above all: NEVER USE LIGHTER FLUID!! Not even MatchLight charcoal!! It will give your food an ungodly taste of petroleum. We have a fire starter that will have ready-to-cook coals in half an hour. Mine isn't nearly as fancy as the one depicted here ( http://www.virtualweberbullet.com/chimney.html ), but this site does come with detailed instructions.

   Your food prep sounds spot-on. I wouldn't change a thing.

   Once the coals are ready, pour them out onto the grate in the coal chamber. Put some smoking wood chips (I prefer mesquite, but you can also get oak, apple, cherry, or sometimes peach wood) on top of the hot coals, then close the coals door. I usually keep the door vent open halfway, as well as the chimney vent. Put your meat on the grill. I try to always have a full grill--you can cook for a week in a single afternoon--chicken (beer can chicken works especially well), ribs, sausages, and some boneless roast or brisket.

   Your smoker should have a thermometer on the outside--try to keep it at about 200-250 degrees. This means the large smoking chamber stays closed, except to turn the meat (no more often than every half-hour). As you get to know your smoker, you will find that it has hot and cold spots, so you'll want to rotate your meat on the surface as well as turn it.

   After turning/rotating your meat, check your fire. At least 2-3 times while cooking your meat, you'll want to add more charcoal and smoking wood--always charcoal first, then wood on top. Close your doors, and walk away--but not so far that the menfolk come up to it and spoil the magic! Keep firearms handy if you need to. ;D Shoo off the guys and make them watch football or cook beans--something they can't ruin.

   Sausage is usually done in about 1 to 1 1/2 hours. Ribs in about 2 1/2 hours. Chicken varies widely depending on whether it is whole or cut-up and the size. Ditto for roasts. Brisket can take 4-6 hours if it's Texas sized. A simple test for doneness is this: poke the meat at its fleshiest place about halfway through with a fork. Observe the juices that escape: red means uncooked, clear means cooked.

   Take the meat off the grill, get your sides, and chow down!!!!

   Posted 3 years ago by gatakitty #

10. 

    For me, I do a pile of coals off to the side. I rub my ribs with cut garlic cloves, baste with bourbon and cover with spices that include lots of ground ginger and a little nutmeg and ground cloves. I mix more spices with bourbon and garlic and baste every 30 minutes. At the end, I throw some woodchips on for a light smoked flavor. I sauce right before coming off the grill.

    Posted 3 years ago by KYKAT 12 23 #

11. 

    Ginny, I am coming to your house! You BBQ like we do. We fill the grill and eat off of it for a week. Now, this will probably sound like heresy to you. If I am doing country style ribs, I do parboil them a bit in beer and spices before grilling. I also make my own sauce from my mother's recipe.

    Posted 3 years ago by KYKAT 12 23 #

12. 

    Gatakitty..the chimney starter is what my dad used to start the charcoals and he used a weber kettle grill. It was a good size one that he cooked on. What time is the BBQ, Gatakitty? I can bring something if you like. I am hungry now just thinking about it all.

    Posted 3 years ago by SylMiaFelixMomma #

13. 

    KyKat: you're not heretical at all. That's what my grandmother (the one from south Ga., not the one from north Ga.) used to do to her ribs, only as a strict Southern Baptist, she wouldn't use beer. She was, without a doubt, the best cook in Colquitt County--and everyone knew it!

    Posted 3 years ago by gatakitty #

14. 

    As for the BBQ date, how about Nov. 8--Georgia plays Kentucky that evening, and everyone knows that nothing goes better with barbeque than a cold beer and SEC football!

    If you're lucky, I might even boil some peanuts for snackin'!

    Posted 3 years ago by gatakitty #

15. 

    Go Blue!!!!!. Ginny, I have tickets on the 35 yardline lower stadium for the GA vs UK game. Wanna come on up/over?

    Posted 3 years ago by KYKAT 12 23 #

16. 

    You have NO idea how much I wish I could! I haven't attended a UGa game since the 2000 Outback Bowl, when the Dawgs staged the biggest comeback in bowl history. They overcame a 35-point deficit at the half to beat Purdue. Wow, what a game!

    As the child of an Athletic Department employee, I took UGa games for granted growing up. Now I realize just how privileged I was.

    *sigh*

    Posted 3 years ago by gatakitty #

17. 

    BBQ TDK party at Gatakitty's on Nov 8th! What airport to fly into? Just checking of course. Hee hee.

    Posted 3 years ago by SylMiaFelixMomma #

18. 

    What an entertaining thread! ROFLOL!!!! Besides making my mouth drool, and I'm a vegetarian!!!!!!!
    You guys are too funny!!!!

    Posted 3 years ago by artistabobbi TX 1/17 #

19. 

    If it's my place, that'd be Austin/Bergstrom Int'l.

    If it's KyKat's, the airport in Lexington.

    Y'know, I do have some Southwest vouchers from that trip to Chicago I never took--wonder if they fly to Lexington????

    Posted 3 years ago by gatakitty #

20. 

    Gatakitty, you've tipped your hand, mate. I'm lurking just over the back fence. What kind of beer do you like?

    Posted 3 years ago by lisaeylau #

21. 

    Shiner Bock or Hefeweisen. I like dark beers, but the Black Label is a little TOO dark.

    Is there a brand OTHER than Shiner?????????????

    Posted 3 years ago by gatakitty #

22. 

    Airfare is running around $288-400 depending on days/times and whether it is non-stop or a connecting flights. Just looking of course.

    Posted 3 years ago by SylMiaFelixMomma #

23. 

    ROFLMAO!!! What a story you tell, Vicki. With my hubby making ribs, tougher than whalebone, we have found a wonderful Butcher Shop/Deli named Gaff's on Nova Road in Ormond Beach FL. We will never ever have ribs on the grill at home again! EVER!

    Posted 3 years ago by SammyandOliversmama #

24. 

    Texas Roadhouse..... works for me!

    Posted 3 years ago by 2 Popoki #

25. 

    Well that is one of the best pieces of descriptive writing I have read in a long while!! Sorry that I am laughing, but let's face it that was funny!! First thought--make sure no men are involved in cooking at your grill! More coals doesn't equal better grilling. I wish you luck--and the ability to tie men up in the house while you grill!

    Posted 3 years ago by SoxsMom #

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